They Call Me Stacey, They Call Me Jane, That's Not My Name

It is really fun to be taken seriously. This past year has marked the first time I felt like I was definitely going to be able to wrangle a satisfying career out of this path, somehow, and for the past few months I have been smugly enjoying the Big Fish environment that sprang up all around me while I was busy chewing cuticles. Don't worry, there's still plenty of shit that goes wrong/sucks/makes me look retarded to keep my ego in check. But I like the shift toward treating me as an equal and I appreciate it and if I weren't getting that right now I would...barf...or something else bad. Anyway, all this confidence that other people have in me forces me to recognize the skills that I have developed in the last 5 years, which in turn makes me admit that I am getting really good at this and will be fucking great at it one day. In some capacity. We'll see.

Kyle, I'll email you the brief with the SC opinion. I'm on p.32.

I went on a comp cd binge last week and some of you should be reaping the benefits....nowish. Who knew how fun the scrapbooking aisle in target can be when you don't intend to scrapbook? It's like I found myself a whole new time suck with pretty paper and glue sticks. Oh and stickers that say, "MEMORIES!" in script. I have to say, this wave of comps is some of my best work. I have not yet gotten sick of ANY of them, and I made FIVE. Oh yes.

Summer is good. I'm getting more writing done than I ever dreamed possible, but that's kind of necessary at this point and it makes me feel like a badass.

I'm going to power yoga tonight. Sweet berry wine and sandwiches that is a good class. I am getting better at "not panicking" in poses in the class, which then translates to being able to "not panic" in reality. Plus, I am getting motherfucking strong. It's awesome.

What else? I love my husband. Our lives seem charmed these days. How fun is disposable income? I know, right? Cats are great. Friends are great. I feel grateful all the time

I keep missing things we did in New Zealand and as usual I have this itch to travel somewhere really far away. Next stop, Iowa City for Christmas! Teehee.

Anyone want to come here for Thanksgiving? We saw a giant tofurkey "roll" at the grocery the other night and I want to have you guys come over for a dinner party. Think it over. Who's it gonna hurt? Where're you going?

And, uh, today I found out that some of my research was just cited in a Supreem Kort (yes, THE Supreem Kort) opinion. Sweet god I'm awesome.

Ordinary Eternal Machinery

1. Yay Jenny and Mike! Best news ever, best future brother-in-law ever.
2. I have to go to a lab meeting in a minute, at which I will be relentlessly bored, so this won't be that long.
3. Unless I get started listing things.

Life's good. No complaints, really. I was having an extended Case of the Mondaies for the last week but I think it's cleared up now. My chakras were all spinning the wrong ways and shit.

I received 2 "gratis" (italian for "douchey") copies of a book that I wrote a chapter in. How fucking cool to have a hardback book I wrote part of. It's really satisfying, especially because they gave me two so I have one prominently casually displayed on my coffee table at home, one shelved academically alongside better, more important books in my office.

I signed the copyright transfer page for an article that's going to be coming out for sure that involved that awful data collection with kids who have bad parents. That's kind of nice, something came of that!

Raedy and I got to work together on a paper from the stuff we did as undergrads about fish swimming and the hand posishes that go with different fish. That was 1) awesome, to work on something with Raedy and 2) a total blast from the past.

JD working at home is a little weird. I have finally realized that I cannot do ANYTHING productive when he is in the apartment. Normally I would work, take a break and clean up the apt or watch montel or judge judy or something, then work. But he has to have silence so the tv is out and cleaning is also too noisy. Then the instant he's off work I don't want to do any chores or work, I just want to hang out and do fun stuff. The obvious solution is to go work in my office, but I have only just remembered that. Le sigh. Also I am continuously hungry when I am in my office, no matter what. Hmmmm.

I have been taking a super challenging yoga class once or twice a week. It's fantastic. I sweat balls in there and it is very definitely at the upper limits of what my body is capable of doing. I love it. It's tonight, yay.

Other than that, I am working on a handful of papers and trying to launch my data colleckshun for my Big project.

Next Weds we are flying up to Oregon for a friend's wedding. I am going to see Portland, finally, and we're going to drive down to Eugene through wine country and *ahem* make a day of it. I had to purchase white shoes for this bridesmaid outfit, so I feel entitled to meander through the wineries instead of coming to the out of towner-welcoming BBQ.

We had our anniversary a couple weeks ago (June 21), or as Ashleigh called it, "our love birthday," and we went down to San Diego for a day/night. Fun fun.

Last weekend we drove to Phoenix, through the 120 degree desert, to see JD's gparents. That was nice, and they love him a lot and are super proud of what a good person he is (I am too) and it's nice to see them get so excited about the fact that he's not a fuckup. I did get to hear a lot of voiced opining on issues that I feel completely opposite about, too, so that was an entertaining exercise in self-restraint.

Yeah not much is interesting. I am super happy with everything and I love all of you. Kisses.

I'd Rather I Lose My Limbs Than Let You Come to Harm

Stacey's right. I need a new post. I am a complete and total badass.

Yesterday I had my big fat scary meeting where I had to defend my propppzel in order to advance to candidacy.

And I fucking pwned it. BLAAAADOW

It was delightful. Everything was perfect, from my choice of outfit (brown pinstripe skirt, bright raspberry button up shirt tucked in to skirt, brown vegan peeptoes) that made me feel like a grown up badass to the extremely girly, perfect high tea I fed them, to the careful, thoughtful but loaded questions I fielded from the committee to the people themselves who are mostly people I have worked closely with in the past few years and thus it was very, very important to me that I not come off sounding like an idiot in this thing.

Ohhh, it was so great. I enjoyed the whole process, even when it was clear I was being tested. A ridiculous number of my best friends here were waiting outside the room the whole time, so when they kicked me out at the start/end to promote intense anxiety I had a bunch of supportive smiling faces waiting for me. I felt like I was smart and saying smart things in a smart way, and totally in control and not blindsided or thrown off by anything. Probably it helped that I fully expected Level 10 hazing bullshit going in to it, but it never felt like that at all.

The whole time I just felt like I was talking to people who were treating me like I was a colleague, and not a petulant student that burdens all of them with my stupidity. It was fucking great. At the end, people said some of the nicest shit to me I've ever heard, about how gorgeous my propppzel is and how they'd like to show it to other students as an example of what ought to be done when writing these. The faculty who know me best who were in that room were clearly proud. My advisor hugged me three different times and then asked if she could also high five me.

It was spectacular, and I feel fucking great and totally satisfied. And I ran into one of the committee members this afternoon in the mailroom and she was talking to me differently than she had a few days ago. It's subtle but noticeable. It's unbelievably validating and it's the most complimentary people have been to me--ever-- in this program/field/career path/whatever. I maybe am drinking the kool-aid here, I'm not sure how much of this is patently designed to groom me into miniature thems...but I feel like I killed that shit and I know my project is awesome and the writing was good and I am immensely satisfied with the way I handled myself and That. Feels. Nice.



Also hugely positive is now that I can take the adv.blinders off, I am pissing my pants about Stacey's wedding and seeing everyone in a week! Fuck balls! So awesome. Love and miss you guys tons!

I Love You So Dearly, I Love You So Fearlessly

I'm in a really excellent mood today because I kicked my proppzle off to my advice-r yesterday and she hasn't finished reading it yet. And this has afforded me time to clean my house, and clean my fucking self and what have you. Squared away, yes sir, squuuaaaarrrred away, yessirree (right now I'm thinking about that far side cartoon where OH HERE:



So I'm thrilled to be able to clean my house, but I haven't yet bothered piling up all the articles that are strewn all OVER the living room floor. I'll get around to it, maybe later. There is a nice thick white blanket of articles covering most of the living room. A veritable article-carpet

Today I notice there are...muddy footprints? all over some of the articles. hmmm. Closer inspection reveals these to be catprints. Closer inspection reveals these to be cat-poop scented. Vommmm.

I chase down the fatter, slower one and studiously peer at his butthole. Nothing unusual. Hmmm. I find the other cat and do the same. Nothing.

Finally it occurs to me to look at their paws. Oh, yuck. TurdlyMcWaddlesbum has squished one of his back feet firmly into a bit of cat poop in his litter box that was the perfect consistency to smoosh between each of his toes and lodge there. So everywhere he walked he was stamping little turd marks. I had to pin him down and scrub the turd off his foot with eighteen thousand paper towels and he howled the whole time like the turd was supposed to be there and I was the one who was totally off my meds.

Gross, right!?

The other night I was minding my business and someone knocked on the door. Odd, especially at 9pm. I look through the peephole and there are two men I don't know standing outside. Great, I think, Stacey sent me some strippers. I open the door.

Oh.

They're the Mormons. They ask for JD. I say he's out of the country but will be back in a few weeks. One of them explains that they are trying to find him so they can reacquaint him with the church, you know, and tell him all about the temple around here and shit. I try to politely say that we're not affiliated with the mormon church and Duder corrects me by saying that JD's name is in their records.

Then things get a little tense. They ask if I have a pen and paper so that they can leave their contact info with me for him. The second one, who has been staring suspiciously at my shoulder (I had a tank top on. I think they are not allowed to have bare shoulders?) the whole time, growls at me and asks if I am JD's sister or something. I spit back that I'm his wife, and I honest-to-god think he was about to say something woman-hating when Thing 1 interrupted him and very creepily handed me their monthly magazine, on which he had written his name and phone number. The magazine has a portrait of Jesus on the front, and Duder animatedly tells me how he wrote his # on the back, because it would have seemed just...wrong...somehow to write it on Jesus's face.

I stifle my mounting amusement long enough for them to wish me good night and leave. The surly one shoots a look at me over his shoulder as they walk away. I get the sense that he thought I was lying about being married to JD, possibly because I had been left unattended by my husband at nighttime? I'm not really sure.

Oh

And that reminds me. JD comes home Saturday. For permanent. Fuck, fuck fuck that's awesome

Hey, six months? YEAH PWNED

There's A Moment to Seize Every Time That We Meet But You Always Keep Passing Me By

Jeeze, I don't even remember how to do this. Do I tell you a story? Ok. Here's a story:



I went to New Zealand. Came back last week. Am either jet lagged, moody, or a combination of them plus annoyed that I'm without husbie again, even for a month. Probs more pissy/moody than jet lagged.

School is freaking me out. I keep having to have little sit-downs with me in which I remind me that it's a doctoral program. It's supposed to be the hardest school there is. Blurgh, though. Don't want to talk about it.

Oh I know why I was posting. I made a comp cd. It's really awesome. Let me know if you want it.

Ok, that's it. I'm going to eat and go to the gym and then spend all evening making stimuli that my advice er will hate. Kisses.

Wow, good story, huh? My name's Lobster, I'll be here all week! Tip your waitstaff.

My Eyes Can't Look At You Any Other Way

This week has been awesome.

JD is rocking that conference, and raking in the good news about his/my futures.

Jenny has gotten into her second grad school, also offering her a full ride.

Mike successfully turned 29 yesterday.

Raedy passed her advancement/hearing/defense today.

I got an "accepted pending revision" on the paper from that project I collected data for in el ay at ass o'clock in the morning a couple years ago...you may remember me telling you how stressful it was to go first thing in the morning and interview kids who had been yanked out of their homes (but thank god they had been)? And how we would blow off going some days when none of us could handle it and we'd go to cheesecake factory and have ourselves a liquid lunch, pretending we were secretaries? that study. HELL FUCKING YES. And it's at a good jirnil. considering the subject matter, real good.

Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to get back to drinking (alone, in my apartment) to celebrate Raedy, watching 16 Candles on VH1 for the first time in my life, and working leisurely on my proppzle. Valentine's Day is spectacular.

Love to you, sweeties. Hope your weeks have been equally illustrious.

I Came Up In Here To Get What You Got

So JD has been in Auztralyah for a confirrence for, what, eleven hours? yeah, abouts that. We were hoping he would get to meet the Chief Poohbah of the Specific Company he wants to gain employment from when he comes back to the states in May. We were hoping that, through JD's powers of Pure, Unadulterated Awesome, that he could charm the pants off this Poohbah and flirt his way into a Job.

Four hours ago I received an email (I just read it, though) from him, sent around 1pm on the FIRST day of this confirrence. It's short and to the point. He already met this guy, had an interview, and has an unofficial job offer on the table. Apparently they had all decided already that he would be made this offer, which is not that shocking given what he's doing in NZ on behalf of the company, but man.

That has got to be a record, even for him.


FUCK YEAH. It's not official, but when it is, it means I could take ANY job ANYwhere, which greatly increases the chances of my finding a job in the first place. I could do a post-dock. Shit, that is incredible.

I Am Listening, I Am All Ears

So this morning I am sitting in my living room in my underpants because I only just finished breakfast/checking email/first pot of coffee/etc (I have a routine, now that I live alone, that involves an extended period of pajama-wearing on most days). I am making a bunch of annoying phone calls to in-laws about whether they are visiting me this weekend, or whether they are not, because they have a Super Bowl party (they have a SB party, whew).

A FedEx guy comes to the door. I can see him holding something, something mysterious, but I am on the phone with my gma-in-law and not wearing pants and I know the FedEx guy can hear me inside talking but I can't think fast enough to grab the robe hanging in the bathroom.

So FedEx guy leaves, and I assume he'll take the package to the office. No. When I look outside there's a thing on the doorknob saying the package went back to the hub and I can come get it that night or they'll retry me tomorrow.

Then JD starts sending me emails about what I'm doing, whether I'm in my office, etc. Hmmm. He doesn't normally send me emails all day while we're both working, so I immediately suspect the package is from him. Excellent, that means it's something rad. I tell him about the phone call/underpants/delivery snafu and he sends me the tracking numbers.

I track the package and I see that it has gone from ObscureTown, China, to Shanghai, to Alaska, to Indy, to California. Hmmmmmmmm. What comes from China? I google the first Chinese town and nothing but tech links pop up. Apparently this town does a lot of manufacturing for computers and whatnot. Hmmm.

JD sends more emails meant to mislead me, saying things like, "don't get excited," and "it's not that great." Obviously he is lying.

Anyway, I just got extremely bored in the middle of this, and I want to go to bed. Here's the gist (Oh, and for those of you keeping track of Vocabulary Karma, I mispronounced "gist" in front of MY ADVISOR the other day, and she pointedly corrected me, and then I had to tell her about how there was this girl I went to HS with who always said it wrong and I mocked her so relentlessly that I could no longer remember which was right and which was incorrect. That made me feel stupid) of what I was going to post, except now I don't give a shit:

-My husbie sent me an iPod touch, totally unexpectedly and for no good reason. Ok, we have an anniversary (of going out, because we're eleven) (9 years, bitches).* It's FUCKING RAD. I have tried to convince it that we should make babies and live on an island but thus far it's pretending not to understand me. I'll wear it down, give me time.
-This thing came with an inscription engraved on the back. Right? This is where he ceilings out in the awesomeness category:
He had it engraved to say, "...the whole world will hear us singing!"

A little fey, you might be thinking to yourself? Yeah, but google it. I'm not even telling you here where it's from, it's too too sweet and thoughtful and precious. My shriveled grinch heart grew 2 sizes today.

-I got myself a pizza for dinner. When I went to pick it up, they gave me two pizzas, because they fucked up one. I was about to tell them I didn't want the one that they put cheese on, when the girl informed me that they had fucked up by only making one a whole-wheat crust, the other was just normal. But both had no cheese, black olives, and artichoke hearts. Oh, god, that is awesome. I now have food for the whole weekend, which is lucky because I am going to be locked in my little tower working for the next four days.

-The X Files is on tv. There is a marathon on or something, and this is possibly my favorite show of all time, ever, ever ever ever. Fucking sweet as.

-Stacey your dream is hilarious. I am going to put my fitted white satin pants on and climb into your dreams again tonight.

*give or take. cough.

Depending On The Street, You Could Be The Most Beautiful Girl On The Street

No point arseing you with a story, is there? You come here for illustrations! And I've been somewhere illustrious! Have at these, worth approximately ninety thousand words:


One of the first things we did was take a ferry out across the Haruki Gulf (from Auckland) to Waiheke Island, which is fucking gorgeous. This is a photo of the Eastern coast of the island, where buses don't run and therefore it is blessedly free of backpackers and people touring the wineries (it has a ton).


This made us feel at home. Actually, NZ in general is a lot like Scotland smooshed with the good parts of Hawaii, but with more summery weather (at least right now).


Welcome to Planet Sheepie, you guys. I LOVE SHEEPIES!


The view from the place we stayed toward Auckland City. You can barely make out some of the skyline in the background.


This is a koru-- the fern is the national symbol, and a koru is one of these yet-to-unfurl itself ferns. Very popular for photographing.


This is the deck (pronounced, "dick" in NZ) of the place we stayed, which was rad. I am still incredibly sick at this point in the trip, lame.


This is a pohutukawa, the New Zealand Christmas tree. These trees flower with these red things for only two weeks, usually right over Christmas. They look totally badass.



Here's JD making friends with some snails in a tidepool on Great Oneroa Beach.



A better view of the beach looking out from the tidepool.


Another angle of Greater Oneroa Beach (little Oneroa beach is adjacent). This is how crowded beaches are on a Saturday, in the summer. I love NZ.


This rooster chicken literally crossed the road in front of our car, forcing us to stop and watch, me laughing hysterically.


These beauties are malbec grapes (my fave!), being grown at Te Whau (pronounced, "Tey Faux") winery, which was ten steps up the road from where we stayed (yes, we went there, don't worry).


This is a proper photo of Te Whau.


Te Whau again, with more drama. Check out that view! DANG


We went "tramping" all over the island, and one of the walks we did was a fantastic hike down from our cottage to Hitapa Bay (what our dick looks over).


Hitapa Beach proper. That "beach" is almost all shells, and sea glass, and we sat there like five-year-olds playing in the cool shells for about an hour. We tried skipping stones, which JD can do because he is a boy, but I suck and am totally unteachable.


More of our trek through the woods.


These sweet, sweet babies lived next door to us. I wish I were an alpaca. Look how sweet! And what a nice place for them to live.


I can't help it. You're getting more alpaca photos. Look how cute it is that you can see the lines from the fur clippers.


Last one, but it's taking all my restraint. Oh, they're sweeties. Look how they give each other sweet alpaca kisses!


Sunset from the dick one night. Not bad.


Auckland skyline from Te Whau point.


On the ferry back to the city...


Auckland City.


On Christmas Day we flew to Wellington, the capital city and most-south city on the North Island. It kind of looks out over the Cook Strait, which separates the two islands, so we could see South Island (aka The Mainland). That city is awesome and incredibly windy.


I am good at photo-taking.


This is the Beehive, where the country's parliament meets. JD respects other countries and their historical figures, as always.


On Boxing Day, which is another national holiday during which nothing is open, we went to the one open thing, the incredible free museum (Te Papa)(Our Place). It's like five museums in one, but free. And it was this pretty all day, then it started raining abruptly and I decided it was my favorite city ever.


After a couple days in Wellington, we drove up the east coast to Napier, the "art-deco" city and right on the coast of Hawkes Bay, one of NZ's major wine regions (next time you buy NZ wine-- which you all should, it's fabulous-- check out whether the wine comes from Hawkes Bay or Marlborough. If it's HB buy red, if it's Marlborough buy the Sauvignon Blanc. You're welcome). Along the way, I took lots of photos from the car.


Planet Sheepies revisited.


Driving, driving, wheeeeee!


This is the view of the area from Te Mata peak, looking out toward Hawkes Bay. Our "motel" was actually right on the bay in Napier, but this gives you a better idea of how pretty the bay actually is.


Again, photo out to HB.


And a third. Can't help it. We went to a bunch of wineries while we were in Napier, and then after a couple days drove up through Geothermal/Volcanic land to get to Rotorua.


On the way, though, we went through Taupo, which sits right on this huge Lake (Taupo) and is beautiful! We stopped at this little alcove to have, oh yes, a picnic. Leftover Indian food and a vegan curry pie from a BP.


Also on the way up to Rotorua, we stopped at Wai-O-Tapu national geothermal park. Umm, that shit was amazing. It's all very hot and boiling and strange colors, and if you were to bathe in it you would run the very serious risk of contracting amoebic menengitis, from which you would almost certainly die. So, you know, don't get any ideas.


More from Wai-o-tapu...


The uber-famous, oft-photographed Champagne pool.


This green is not something I had ever seen before, not even in boxes of 164 crayons! My camera didn't do it justice, it's eyehurtingly green.


In Rotorua, we booked in to a b&b. Last time we'll make that mistake. Although our hosts, including my new BFF Furball here, were lovely, I was sure we'd be murdered in our extremely floral guest room and I absolutely hate the idea of making conversation with an uppity British couple (who referred to NZ as "the colonies" multiple times) first thing in the morning, before coffee. Also the nice lady had a mini-stroke when we told her we were vegan (pronounced, "vay-gan") even though JD had emailed her about it when he made the reservation.


One good thing our hosts did do was suggest a tramp (heh) around this oddly-named Blue Lake. Which we did, and which was awesome.


We drove back to Auckland from Rotorua, and spent NYE on JD's dick (hahahahahahahah) watching these here fireworks they shot off from that there Sky Tower. I'd like to point out that, being on the far side of the Int'l date line, we were in the very first time zone to celebrate the onset of 2008. So suck on that, California.


Some of JD's work friends offered to take us around the west coast of Auckland, which houses several jaw-droppingly awesome beaches, including the one on which my mom's favorite creepy movie, The Piano, was filmed. More on that in a minute. This is a photo out over Manukau Bay before we descended into beach territory.


This, my friends, is Karekare beach, where they filmed The Piano, and with which my mother is obsessed. It is a black-sand beach and I have to admit it's fantastic.


More Karekare.


In mom's honor, we drew a piano in the sand. teehee.


Another rad-ass beach just north of Karekare is Piha. Oh, this is what I always pictured when I thought of NZ.


Apparently there is a lifeguard reality show called Piha Rescue that they were filming that day, perhaps in part because the water was ridiculously dangerous (that's the Tasman Sea you're looking at, and it's rowdy almost all the time. Good surfing, though). Although they did seem to be abusing their whistles just a lot, maybe because of the tv show?


This is cool, isn't it? That big rock sits on the main Piha beach and is called Lion Rock. Figure it out!


And this is called the Blowhole (can you see those weensie people fishing up on the rock? That's how big this is). You can only get over to it during low tide, and next to it is this awesome natural lagoon that lots of children were peeing in and warming up when we were there. Nice.

Yeah so maybe I'll detail some things I liked more later. It was fucking great. Everyone should go there, possibly to live, at the expense of anything else you thought you might want to do. Ahhh. And with that, I am spent. Gnight!