Break Me Off A Piece of That Applesauce

This week kind of sucked. Next week's not looking so hot either. Today's JD's last day at his job. That alone is pretty terrifying. I'm not really sure how I'm going to feel over the next week (he leaves Thursday), but I bet it's going to be: bad.

The fire(s) are really close but we're not being evacuated or anything. Air quality sucks balls and there's ash on everything. It kind of looks like what I think living on Mars would look like. For a week, though. It's very hard to breathe if you're outside for more than a few minutes. I had to give a 3 hour lecture in my class tuesday night on 5 hours' notice the other day. ouch. Then I had to present my dissertayshun shit the next morning in my lab. And I had been up all night cramping thanks to my wondrous femininity. Then I had to come home and drink two bottles of laxative and spend the night in the bathroom. Then I had to go to the dr yesterday to have a really invasive test wherein they roofie you and run a tube all the way up your colon. Sometimes I think my life is like a fairy tale.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to grade papers and continue gnashing my teeth with anxiety.

Marmalade Fires

Dear Raedy,

Please click HERE.

Love,
Teresita

You're All I Need

Ok. My dealing-with-new-zealand webcam arrived this past week. So JD and I practiced talking to each other by sitting in the living room skypeing each other and making stupid faces into the cameras. Awesome, right? Well Jenny and I just realized that we can also webcam talk, because her fancier computer has a built-in camera (like JD's). OH MY GOSH SO MUCH FUN.

Who else has a mac with a built-in isight, or a webcam more generally? You have got to get a Skype account (free!) and start having super fun video chats with me. It is so awesome.

Also, the new Radiohead is fucking great. I haven't liked one of their albums this much since Ok Computer. So this is a big deal for me. Also a big deal that I only paid three pounds fifty for it! Yes! That makes it so much more valuable.

Thanks for the skirt feedback. I always hiked it up too, but felt the same vague shame that Jenny described. Thanks a lot, mom. I'm always worried that I'll be in a stall and some other women will walk past and see through the cracks in the door that I've gathered it into a ladylike fistful while I piss all over the toilet seat, and they'll openly mock me. Shut up, I've violated plenty of women-schemas in the past, and been openly mocked each time. It's a valid fear. But knowing that at least some others hike theirs up is good news.

Maybe You Would've Been Something I'd Be Good At

Dear Ladies,

I have a serious question. When you wear a skirt, and you have to pee, do you hike the skirt up or unfasten it like pants and yank it down?

Should I have learned this in my childhood? Because I didn't. Thank,

Teresita.

I Re-Invite You All To Enjoy This Aperient Catharsis Anonymously

Welp, I talked to Raedy last night and she basically reinvigorated my love of the Remorseless Blog II: The Secret of The Ooze (see Temperance link ------>) by reminding me of a funny post. So I went back and read all the archives today and was snorting coffee out my tear ducts after a couple of minutes of laughing until my lungs shut off.

I hereby make an impassioned plea for a more routine use of this excellent venue for hilarious contributions. May I remind you that, for a time, haiku was the format du jour on the RBII:TSOTO? There have also been short and longer essays, creative nonfiction pieces, song lyric suggestions, selections from softcore porn writing, etc. In short, there's something for everyone and all forms of writing are welcomed.

If you've never used it before, you simply must give it a go. Just log in to blogger as "remorselessblog@gmail.com" and use the password "remorseless."

Happy Bitching!

I thought about this today. I think I'm going to take a slightly different tack than earlier. I already know the right answers to both the 'hypothetical' questions I asked of you guys, and the answers are sad but not surprising.

I'm a big girl, I got this.

Thanks anyway, Raedy, for the input. And my bad, to the rest of you. I don't want this to be that kind of outlet for me.

These Eyes Are Berries