SO I woke up this morning from a weirdo dream.
I was at Disneyworld, in the Animal Kingdom park, and JD was with me and this part was really more like a memory than a dream, because at the park we got bored quickly and decided we'd spend the rest of our last day at Magic Kingdom rather than a shitty zoo, so we left after hiking over to one last potential ride, this enclosed (which freaked me out because I dont' LIKE rides that I can't look at and see that there's no huge drop) building-ed thing called "DINOSAUR" rrrraaaaahhhhr. So we almost rode it, but there was a 45 minute wait and we couldn't imagine it being all that cool, so we up and left and I got my fill of Big Thunder Mountain Railroad elsewhere. So anyway, I came home from my lovely vacation and Jenny (lil sis) asks specifically if I went on that, and i say no, and she gets very upset because she also hates rides but she loved it, and it was scary but cheesy, and and and and and and
So that sucks, I should've gone on it.
Now, the dream:
I was I think by myself outside the ride, and I decided to go on it, but first I wanted to see if I could figure out how much of a drop there was, so I waltzed down this hallway past the line. At the end of the hall, there was another passageway perpindicular to it, and I looked down and saw only that this other walkway was kind of like a really big, wide, plastic slide like they have at carnivals. So I started down it, and for part of the way it was walled in on both sides, but as the path got steeper the wall on the left disappeared and I could finally see why all the people were screaming. There were two tracks for the ride, and each of them was a blow up raft with people in it and huge, fucking gigantic waterslides, like you wouldn't want to ever actually go on, and I got super scared and turned to walk back up the hill. But
BUT
I was scrambling to climb it because it was so steep, and then water started trickling down and made it more difficult, and every now and then I would slip and have to start all over, and then there was more water and then BAM it was like a huge waterslide I was trying to climb up, only there was no bottom to it if I slipped and it would be like the worst ever ride. And the side on my right where there wasn't a wall was becoming another waterfall, with no bottom, and the people kept on screaming. So I scramble more, and then this park ranger guy swims past me (yes, clad in full park ranger gear) and tells me that he thought it would suck to climb up the hill except he knew to grab the tethers on the wall side, spaced every few feet, to pull himself up. So I look, and sure enough, tethers that weren't there before, so I grab them and then
I am awakened by JD jumping out of the bed because it's 11 and he needed to get going earlier than that and I was instantly alert and awake and still thought I was trying to climb up the waterfall.
SUCK

And the other night I had a sequence of four fucked up dreams. None I care to share, thanks. I wonder what's casing all this REM sleep activity. Maybe they were induced by my own filth (until this morning I hadn't gotten dressed or changed pajamas since Stacey left) hahahahahaha.

So I'm going home tomorrow to help my mum move again, and if anyone is going to be in Eville up through Thursday morning, let me know-o so I have something to do.
And Stace, we both forgot to tell them about our lists of people we want to sleep with. (We spent like four hours listing all the people we could think of we'd like to sleep with. Stacey's consisted of Ewan. Mine and Raedy's were like eighteen pages long)

Ha. We all know I could narrow the field down to one guy whose name means "Cool breeze over the mountains" in Hawaiian.
Hahahahahahaahah
Have you guys noticed that shows like Cheers and the Cosby show are on Nick at Nite already? Doesn't that freak you out?
I'll be back later this week.
Teresita

Ok, I tried to post this next bit this AFTERNOON and blogger that bitch wouldn't let me, so HERE

Mmmm, good morning everyone. I just got out of bed. Yes, it's 2. Yes, I know that's lazy. But i have had a stellar weekend thusly far and want to share it all with you!!
So I'm not going to Evansville tonight, I thought about it briefly but then decided I don't want to, no one's going to be there and I'll have nothing to do when my mom zoinks out around 7, if I even got home by then (teehee) so piss on it. I'm not a fan of going to shows by myself. I might go Monday night or later in the week, it all depends on my mood. As long as I see my mom eventually, I don't really care. there's nothing else for me to do in Evansville.
Sooooo Thursday I came home from piddling around in the lab around 4 and the phone rang and it was Stacey, bored off her rocker, so I started whining at her to come visit me since the night was shaping up to be me, alone, watching must see tv all night in a pathetic heap on the couch, and she FINALLY caved after much arm-twisting and name-calling, and hooray, she got off work for Friday so she could stay until eaaaaarly Saturday morning (2) when she needed to drive home to Louisville so she could (and is now doign so) a 16 hour shift. So she arrived, and I for some reason thought it would be fun to NOT tell Melissa she was coming, because then it would be a surprise when she got home from crisis line, and then she and I and Jenny and her friend Holly all went to La Charreada, it was awesome, thanks, and then she made us all hurry back to my house to watch THE BACHELOR, the worst reality show I've ever seen, but it was the finale, so this slimy Mr. Adcock meets Erik Gist looking motherfucker picks (oh ho, surprise) the girl with the GIGANTIC titties as his future fiancee but says they need more time to get to know each other. Hahahahahaha, hahahah, ahaha. It was an amusing waste of a couple hours. Then Chris D. and JD came over, and Chris was wearing a birthday wrapping paper hat so we called him Mayor McBirthday for the rest of the night, no I can't explain why that is funny, but rest assured that it was indeed. And then Chris my roomie stopped by with some friends and he WON his presidency again, so we're in for another hair-pulling year of "what is he thinking, taking on so much bullshit" for us all. But I'm super happy for him anyway, he really likes it. And then he left again, and finally Melissa got home and although we hid Stacey upstairs and pretended that Mayor McBirthday was her surprise I had promised, she had cleverly spotted Stacey's car and wasn't buying it. Sigh. I swear, every time I try to do something nice...
So then we all sat around and decided we would go play basketball and then have a Karaoke Party, so we went onto campus to play. And it was me, JD, and Raedy versus Chris, Stacey, and Melissa, and Stacey has a wicked defense. I don't got game of any kind. It was hilllllarious fun. then we realized it was almost 2am, so we vetoed the karaoke party and all went to sleep.
So then yesterday I had some bullshit to do on campus, and I basically ditched out on all the lab stuff I normally have on Friday because I had company, and now I feel bad for Hanako, but she'll live. I am officially DONE with 95% of the semester, only one more thing remains, and then I can focus on (blah) summer stuff. so yeah, woohoo. I came home for Passions in between lab stuff and class and decided to stay all afternoon, so Raedy and Stacey and I watched this terrible Lifetime movie with Judith Light and Julian Crane and tracy Gold as Judith had an affair with then was raped and stalked by a skeezy looking younger man, and he started dating her daughter so he could say nasty things like "You're better in bed than your daughter" and (to the daughter) "everytime I was with you I was thinking of your mother"
EEEW, it was a damn funny movie. I won't spoil the ending, but if you get a chance to see it, it's called "Lady Killer."
So then when Mel got home we all went to WalMart and then target because Raedy had money to burn and she bought a shitload of Hello Kitty stuff to fuel her obsession, and then we were all starving so we called JD and told him to call Chris who didn't want to go so the 5 of us went to an Indian restaurant and stuffed our faces. Let me just say again here that Indian food is BY FAR and away my favorite kind of food ever. It's so awesome, and even though my stuff wasn't so great, I was impressed with JD's vindaloo mouth poison and Raeyd's lentil soup. Also, their butter chicken was really good. I highly reccommend it to anyone wanting to try something new.
So there went another chunk of my checking account, I am running out of money oh-so-fast but I think I should get a refund in the next coupld days, so when that happens I'll be all set. Sigh. I so want to waste money on things I don't need. I'm getting really compulsively good at that.
So THEN we came home and had karaoke party, I was most impressed with raedy and mel's choerographed dance moves, stacey and jd's performance of rent in it's entirety, and chris and jd's tenacious d stuff. I am definitely more of a voyeur than an exhibitionist.
So then everyone passed out, and I woke Stacey up at 1:30 and asked her to leave (hahah) and she emailed me and said she got back ok and is now suffering through the longest shift ever at work, poor thing, and I feel bad for her. it's not going to make me get off me lazy, contented ass and do anything, but still. Poor Stacey.
So that's my last few days, tonight and tomorrow should be interesting if you know what I mean (i don't either) so I'll update ya soon
*****

I found some quotes I like a lot that I thought you guys might appreciate as well:

"I thought of how often the calculus of our affections has little to do with compatibility or mutual regard or even good chemistry; it concerns, rather, silent revenge for past slights."

"You caught me staring at you and smiled, and my willingness to ruin myself for love seemed a choice that only a bitter man would disapprove of."

Both come from a book by Brendan Lemon, which is excerpted in Out magazine this month. I just thought they were neat. I miss the times when I would find stuff like that and wallpaper my room with it on construction paper, all the silly "meaningful" things I had up on my walls that really boiled down to very little insight whatsoever. I (in a sick way) miss the irresponsibility of high school, and the fact that my actions never ever had any consequences, and hypocrisy ran so rampant but no one cared, and I didn't have to decide soon if I really am going to take time off before grad school to travel (anyone up for going with me? chances are good JD won't have graduated and I can't stick around here unless I'm going to school, I'd be a townie...so if anyone has ever seriously wanted to backpack through Europe and live on dirt and bread crusts, see me and we'll talk it through). I guess I'm tired of dealing with things I deserve. I'm tired of so many loose ends plaguing my past and so little ability to fix anything. I'm sick of wanting to do things and realizing my hands are tied, of wanting to say things to people and biting my lip because it's just simply not fair or appropriate for me to do so. I'm tired of feeling like my journal is the only place I'm truly honest with myself, and like I'm spinning my wheels here.
Blah
I think I've let myself get swept away in the magic of memory, and the warped way mine selectively tunes out any and everything negative. Why do I do that? I would think most people would remember it the other way, with all the bad stuff coming instantly to mind any time they think of a specific person, but never with me. I have a lot of trouble remembering the bullshit unless someone can remind me, which usually isn't the case
I just think Stacey opened a nasty can of nostalgia worms when she got all "remember when-y" with that post the other day.
A thousand pardons for my incessant ranting. I cain't help myself sometimes

There's so much I should know better than to say that I want to say regardless, and I need to go now or risk opening my big dumb mouth.

Oh, on another note:
I saw on the news last night that a Purdue flight student crashed a plane, and the reporters took entirely too long to just come right out and SAY who it was, and luckily it was no one we know in the flight program, and I think the girl wasn't even hurt, so THANK GOODNESS for that, it was a scary fraction of a second between hearing "plane crashed" and "No, it wasn't Keith"
Makes you think.

Good morning.
I know I said I'd write more last night; obviously that was a lie. I got too caught up in this rad Pilates infomercial with JD and Chris, and then I got tired. So sorry for breaking yet another promise, I'll try to do better about not letting you all feel that sting of disappointment in the future.

Now, what I was wanting to say about Stacey's mopey music quote:
Yeah, I totally feel you, sweetheart. Nostalgia of any kind is really kind of dangerous, as far as I'm concerned, because it can leave you walking around in this fictitious fantasy world where things turned out differently than they did in reality for hours. I try to avoid it, it just makes things more difficult than they need to be. I've always had a problem with refusing to forget the good things of any sort of relationship (be it an acquaintanceship, friendship, or something more, ahem, serious) and instantly forgetting all the bad and why _____ ended, so I end up mooshier than most people and completely at a loss to remember why it went bad in the first place. I think that's one of those nasty bad habits of mine that hurts me more than it hurts the people I think about all skewed, but maybe not. And common sense tells me that no one I've ever had one of my melodramaculous falling out scenes with will be reading this, but just in case they are, I want it to be clear that I don't harbor any sort of anger toward anyone at all. It dissipates so fast with me even I can't believe it, and then I'm left with stupid questions I can't get the answers to because they've become inappropriate to ask...
Maybe that's more of a rant for myself than a response to Stacey, so sorry, but then when you throw music in, it's not possible to play it off like you can't remember...I keep noticing music acutely these days, and I find that it's really one of my favorite things in all the world. If you guys haven't heard the song "September" by Earth, Wind, and Fire, do yourselves a favor and go hear it. After that it's not possible to do anything but be ridiculously happy. Music is such a mind-controller, but in a good way. If I want to mope around I listen to Black Heart Procession, if I want to prove my inability to sing to the whole neighborhood I listen to Rent, and all the things in between work equally as effectively at altering my mood. I think people who are pessimistic in general should have to listen to a comp cd of my choosing with all the best uplifting songs on it, so they wouldn't be so upset about anything again. It's all a state of mind, and even the nastiest storms can be weathered if you have music to take your mind off it. It's such a nice solace, most times you don't even realize what's done it to you....
But now, in a weak attempt to relate these two rants to each other and what Stacey said, music can sometimes be overwhelming. I mean, there are cds I just won't listen to anymore because of the rush of nostalgia I don't want to deal with, and since I know it's there I have to wait until I feel I can combat it properly. It's like my gum. I really like Extra dark blue gum, whatever flavor that is, but for a long time it reminded me of an old boyfriend (don't ask cuz I'm not telling). I thought that was neat at first, that smell has such a powerful connection to memory (that might be my dissertation, hehh hehe) but the more I chewed it myself, the less it made me think of anything, and gradually the connection disappeared, and I haven't thought of him because of the gum (or for any reason, really) in years. So I figure everything can potentially fade like that, and maybe there are things I know fade more easily (music) that I either don't want to have to deal with yet, or can't bring myself to intentionally rid myself of, no matter how self-destructive, and I hope that's normal. And Stacey, I think the unknown song that magically transports you to a place is the worst, because you can't avoid it and you'll never know when you'll trip over it and be right back in that sea of memories again. So yeah, let's all roll our eyes together at Liz's stab at a meaningful comment on Stacey's post, I know I didn't raise the bar on this one, but oh well. It's too much a jumble of intentionally vague thoughts for even me to make clear sense of, thus I don't expect any of you who would be affected by it to do so either. Yay me.

HI there

So I have added a section for comments, feel free to let me know what you think. No, what you realllly think, LET ME HAVE IT

If this is hard to read and full of typos, it's because I am typing with gloves on and I don't believe in spellchecking my own posts; I think it's a waste of time when you all guys know exactly what I mean anyhoo

So what have I been up to? Oh, so glad you asked. Yesterday was my last serious day of classes, with my LAST killing class and a hapkido skills test and several experiments to run and thus I had to get up very early to get to the lab. So I had woken up at 7:30 after having a very detailed dream in which I could not get to sleep no matter how hard I tried, so i was exhausted in real life too. I hate dreams like that. Then I got to the lab and did a million experiments and it was fun, and then I went to hapkido, where I had to work with martial arts boy (for those of you not in my hapkido class, "martial arts boy" is an affectionate term for this boy named Scott who reminds me somehow of Matt Damon's character in Good Will Hunting only more of Ben Affleck's because he's really not very bright, and he has an extensive background in all these different martial arts but doesn't test for belts and thus has a chip on his shoulder for not having the belts, and now he's got a foot injury so he's wearing a walking cast type thing only less cast-like and more ankle-brace, I don't know what I mean) and that meant that Jon the AI instructed me to evade all his kicks for my defenses, which meant basically that I didn't have to do anything hard whatsoever, except land right when he threw me on his hurt foot and then again when it was appropriate. Keep in mind I didn't get to throw him, period, because he was hurt. So it was ok, I don't care, I have a lot of time until the blue test and thusly I won't be thinking of it stressfully until then.

And also I had my last Lethality: Homicide and Self-Destruction class, which was the MOST boring 2.5 hours a week I've ever suffered through, and as usuall we had to go around the room and talk about stupid things, and it was horrible but he actually let us go early, so yay, no more of that. And then I was done, and came home to find that Jarrod had called (he called me Sunday night "because I always get pissed that he doesn' call me more" to see if I wanted to go with him and a bunch of his guys friends I didn't know to see Blade II in 20 minutes, guess what my answer was) because we were supposed to do something. So we made plans and I went over to his dorm and THEN my night got more interesting than I could've imagined in my wildest dreams.
jarrod's really weird because he seems to always be touching me, or anyone he's around, and not in any kind of sexual way, it's just kind of creepy. I whined about not having enough credits for next semester (unless I stick with personal finance) and he said he'd take Human Sexuality with me (AWESOME), so we changed our schedules and looked at his new porn (looked at the case, not the porn) and I met his new roomate Colin and some guys down the hall he hangs out with, and then I said we should go visit Chris on the 6th floor because I (bitchily, perhaps) didn't want to "chill" with other guys wearing visors who thought themselves pimpier than Jarrod, and J was cool with that, so we surprised Chris who happened to be on the phone with JD and online with Melissa. So all of us ended up going to Denny's, and it was one of the more interesting outings I've had lately. there's nothing like being around vulgar boys to really bring out my potty-mouth. So that was interesting, at least, it's been so long since I went to Denny's or out to eat with that kind of diverse group of people, and it was fun. I think Jarrod may be a little ticked at me for not liking (instantly, nothing says I wouldn't like them in time, I was just feeling --SURPRISE-- anti-social) his buddies, but it was still super fun.
And then JD and I came back here and Chris had Christine over, and she's awesome, and we had loads of fun all tormenting Chris with words like "Pussy" or "Vag" and other things that gay men cannot willfully say, and it was hilllllarious.
Yeah, and then I was still exhausted but so excited to be done with classes (for the vast majority) that I couldn't sleep for hours and was being super obnoxious.
And then this morning I woke up to find that the toilet paper was all gone in the bathroom, but as usual no one had replaced it, and although I don't know or care who it was, and shouldn't and am not upset by it in any way, I stomped down the stairs, ripped open a new package, slammed the closet door, stomped back upstairs and threw the toilet paper as hard as I could into the bathroom
And immediately it was hilarious and made my day. Nothing like throwing shit to improve your mood.
So then today I did naught but sit around and watch tv, ate food, slept in, you know. No ethics for me, thanks, I am boycotting the kindergartenishness of the thing, and it's almost finished. so piss on that class, I could care less what i get in there

For now, I'm looking forward to a big day of NOT DOING SHIT tomorrow, with no classes for real, and then we'll see how the rest of the week goes:)
As for right now, Raedy and I are going to the lab, so I have to go. We have a buttload of coding stuff to do for Hanako and since we're both sick to death of doing it and Yoshie (remember? she sucks and is useless) did a lot of it wrong, we have some work to do tonight. Oh, and the Osbournes are on, don't forget.
AND I need to know if anyone's planning on being in Eville this weekend for Dave's show, cuz I might go home (will probably go home) but want to go with someone, so POST ME A COMMENT and lemme know.
AND, last thing, I really have a lot of vague, rambling things about feelings and people I'd liek to write about after Stacey mentioned that music/nostalgia stuff, and I'll probably be on to do that later tonight. So that's 2 times your daily requirement of my blog you can look forward to, thanks so much
or maybe i'll put that on my SECRET blog
hahahahaha
*****

Maybe now...

Ok, bear with me as I try to add a comments section to this already messy HTML nightmare

ok, let's try it NOW

Oh, and if this counter thing works I imagine it will be non-stop hilarity for me from here on out, since i'll be able to see how many of you actually don't read this, ever.

Alright, blogger you motherbitcher, stop deleting my posts

Hi! Hope you all had good weekends, I surely did, and I'd love to recount it for you!
Friday I sat around with JD, as is the custom on Fridays, and did nothing but watch tv and bitch about things that irritate me and such.Oh, and we went to Target, where I bought some shampoo and conditioner and new face wash and a couple shirts and that was fun. And then the next day I woke up to Melissa babytalking loudly in the kitchen, and for a second I thought her aunt and uncle from Chicago were here (they came down for Little 500) but NO, it turns out we were dog sitting for Chris' friend JR's new puppy, this half cocker spaniel half choc lab ADORABLE little thing with extremely sharp teeth. So that was fun for hours, and nothing has been so wonderfully amusing as watching him go up and down the stairs, all floppy puppy feet and love
And then I went to watch the black belt test, and it was ever so much more interesting now that
A. I know most of the people testing, and
B. I know most of what they did, and me testing for it in a couple years is more feasible now and it was cool to wacth people do it who are good

So they all passed, and that was nice, and tomorrow I have a final in hapkido (which should be ok, and will rule if he doesn't make us get in alphabetical order) and then I'm done with the class for the semester. And I'll be in club this summer and next fall, but I won't be in class again until next spring, when I'll have either my brown or red belt, and that'll be nice.

then I decided that I have been responsible with money for entirely too long ( I think almost a week) and I know when I'm getting my summer aid now (6 days baby) so I dragged JD to the mall, and spent entirely too much money on things I didn't need at all, like these awesomely cute flipflops and more bath and body works stuff (cucumber melon this time) and UNDERWEAR!!!!! Yay for Victoria's Secret FINALLY coming out with new patterns. And I got one of those convertible strapless bra dealies from there, fo which they have that ridiculous commercial, and as you might expect that cost me a pretty penny, but it's RAD and it's this really pretty blue color, so nyah
I know I know, I'll be taping that MTV "Vice:Compulsive Spending" special tomorrow night if I don't get a chance to watch it
But basically I am out of money again, and since I went to the grocery earlier this afternoon, I am completely out of money, teeheehee. That's what it's for, though. This is why I'm getting a PhD. I need to be able to go a little crazy with it
I'm thinking maybe having a debit card is bad news

Oh well though.
So we came home and I got made fun of for having bought so much, and then we and Mel and Chris all went to Flora for dinner, where Raedy was working, and we had wonderful food and left her a wonderful tip and I REALLY NEED TO GO BACK TO SERVING, I am feeling it now, buddy
I think my spending habits would seem less inane if I had another source of income

Sigh
So yeah, that was last night, and then there was SNL, yawn. No Little 500 madness for me, thanks, I am not into "school spirit" or "greek activities" or "anything along those lines"

And today has been a humdinger of a boring time, I am STALLING on that paper because it'll be so painless if I just do it, and I can't have that. My last assignment should cause me a little bit of stress, no? Or how bout the fact that I have to get up at the crack of 8am tomorrow to go run 95 experiments, THANKS CHAR
She schedules hers along with ours cuz they're both so short, and what I fon't understand is why she insists on making all the appointments for 9, 9:30, etc. when she didn't even call me last week to tell me that my 10:00 cancelled because SHE DIDNT THINK RAEDY OR I WOULD BE UP, and she was right....does that make sense to YOU? She knows we're barely up by 11 but she makes all the appointments for LONG before that....I swear, she has no common sense
Grr, and then I won't get to come home tomorrow until 5, when I finish my LAST EVER KILLING CLASS and come home to take a nap.
So my week after tomorrow is a cake walk, I feel like classes (ethics is all i have left) are optional, even though she nixed that frisbee playing class period idea (read jd's blog) in the bud. She can nix my ass now, I turned in my paper and she'll post the final online. Hahahahahaha
So more from me later this week, I should be announcing my plans for my summer vacation (4 or 5 days in Evansville, mayhap) if anyone's interested in coming home for it.

Ok, to clarify:
I personally dont' wish to "slut around" I was just saying things in general. Teehee, sorry for the confusion:)

Since I've just been informed that I am in charge of cutting the fruit for this afternoon's lab meeting, I may not get to write very much. Hahahahaha, I am in charge of cutting fruit. Oh, Char, or you dear dear woman.
So nothing's been happening

I had the strangest day yesterday, and I'm going to kick myself for talking about it when parents and relatives (everyone give a shout out to my cuz Evan!) may be reading along, but I just can't help it. Do you ever have days when all you think about is sex? Like, way more than you think about what you're doing or where you're going or driving or if you're hungry....and I'm not really talking to the guys here, because we know how it is for you, but MAN I swear, I have never had a day where I felt so much like a teenage boy in my LIFE
I felt somewhat crazed, I looked at tables and walls not as furniture or housing structures but as...well, as props, I guess. I don't know what it was...I'm kind of hoping this isn't what my life is going to be like constantly now that I've stopped taking my pills (long story short I think I've been on them too long, they're messing up weird things about my "time"), since SUPPOSEDLY they kill any inkling of sexual desire you may have had, and SUPPOSEDLY they have other weird effects, which is just hilarious to me if you think about it because when you're on the pill and safe if you choose to slut around you're fine, but you don't want to, and then when you're not you want to all the TIME and
this is probably how teenage pregnancy happens. I have no idea, I've been maybe too responsible for too long, maybe it's time I try to let go of all these antiquated notions of "protected sex" and "responsibility." Ah hahahah hahah Ahaha ha, haha, ah ha.
At least, if I have a lot more days like yesterday, I might have to. I don't know how boys DO it, how do they function even a little? I'm so impressed, I can't believe how much it's possible to think about dirty things in the course of one day and still be able to speak in a semblance of grammatical correctness .....I think we owe them a round of applause

Or maybe this isn't really what life as a boy is like, and I just had a weird day. But I'm willing to bet that you guys, if you're shaking your heads and thinking, "no, hahaha, boys don't think that much about sex, she's just a freak" are just so used to it that you're unaffected by it by now. Most of you are late teens/early 20s, and you've had YEARS to get used to this

I think this is weird but REALLY fun. And I also think I am not going to get any sympathy from anyone. Ha.

Whoops! time to cut the fruit!

So it's approaching the time when I pass out from sheer exhaustion and if I was seriously entertaining any thoughts of going to bed early to wake up early enough to write an ethics paper, the fact that Miss Saigon music is being blared full blast from the stereo right beneath me by roomie Chris and his coolest Asian friends Dan and Christine as they sing along with the karaoke mic in something that started out as a war with our trashy redneck neighbors to the north who have taken to blaring their hick music with the front door wide open each night around 11pm, whilst allowing their children to play outside buttnekkid while they swill Old English products and congratulate themselves on having had six children with their slut whore wives before anyone reached a fifteenth birthday but ended up becoming full-blown Karaoke Party for the household, and by full-blown I do indeed mean that Raedy sang the Japanese song and Mel and Raedy performed that Salt N Pepa song, and Britney was paid homage to, and because of all this commotion I am now in my room in the dark hurting my eyes staring at this screen writing the world's most uninteresting run-on sentence in the hopes that I don't lose my motivation to write this by using punctuation, and any hopes of sleep have long since left me, and this being said, it's time I told ya'll about my hellaciously cool weekend, which started off predictably slow and "oh thank jeeze it's friday" and escalated into my having Monty and Jennifer Miller and Evan all in my living room for awhile on Saturday afternoon, during which time I discovered that Monty, a current Purdue student, will be interning in Bloomington and needs a place to stay, and I think "shit, the more the merrier" in my house, although with JD and Chris Daniels here once he decides that Eville will just suck far too badly to endure, it'll be tight, although I won't complain about having all those sweet asses around all the time, so then after they took off Chris and JD and I went to see Chauncey Duff the Stuff sing in his african-American Choral Ensemble, and they rocked, and Chauncey actually will be an R&B star someday, and I was thoroughly impressed, and then after that load of unneeded gospel and preachy hullaballoo, Jd and i came home and watched infomercials, and i WANT BADLY one of those thunderstick 3000s or whatever they're called, I fell in love with it, and no it's not a dildo, and then we flipped though the channels some more and LO on the IU public access channel, which normally has great videos of local high school kids acting out plays, we see a movie with college students with Kim, a girl from our hapkido class, and so of course we watch it, and it involves her and a boyf trying to escape from a mad scientist who wants the formula and will kill her to get it, and the best part was when they stood, hugging, in a field with the sun shining and them both grinning like idiots while the camera spun around them and then the bad guy threw a stick, causing them to run like dumbasses into him, and he kidnapped her and then the guy had to save her and yeah, it was hilarious, thanks very much for asking, and we teased her about it on Monday even more than we should have when she admitted that it wasn't for a class at all, she just got together with some friends, I so wish I'd taped it, but too late now, and then Sunday I can't remember what I did except write paper after paper for my killing class, and then there was school monday and the belt test snuck up on tuesday and since then I haven't done much at all, except when I went to jenny's induction thing tonight which was a snooze and a half, and then she and her friend Holly and i went to Panera Bread and ate and it was really good and then I came home and Chris announced naked from the top of the stairs that he was having "people" over, and I went upstairs to find the whole house scrubbed clean and the bathroom darkened except for a single candle, and eventually his friends came and they got Skky Blue which is DA SHIZNAT even though I had a mere sip, it IS a school night, I mean come on, I still have a paper to write tonight, and that being said, i should get cracking since I'm already passing out on the keyboard as we speak and I haven't even begun deciding what to write.

I don't have any energy for anything today.
I'm starting to think more seriously that I have some bullshit fatigue disease thing and I should go to the doctor, but nobody cares enough to make me, and I sure as fuck don't feel like going.

So I could finish my Rebecca story, but the more I think about that fucking test the more convinced I am that I just plain sucked, and even though I didn't cuss or drop my green belt on the floor or fling my baton at my judge's head, I am lucky to have this purple belt cuz I really just sucked.

I'm tired of this week and it's only partway done. I have to write a stupid ethics paper tonight on nothing interesting and I know I'm getting a nice solid B in there so I don't even care about it anymore. I also have to go to this induction thing with my sister so she can get some stupid award and join an honor frat, or something, I'm not sure I understood but it's my familial responsibility to go an cheer her on no matter how lame the thing is, as it always has been, and always will be.
I should really get cracking on this paper, but I figure I'll have nothing to do after the induction and plenty of time to dick around with it later, so fuck it. I need to go take a nap or eat something, I'm not sure which, but I'm in too bad a mood to bother writing anything worth reading.

Ok, jeeze, it's not even close to bedtime and I'm so fucking exhausted
The belt test is over, thank heavens. I'm a purple belt now. Woo hoo.
I wish I were more excited about it, but honestly, I didn't have a very good test and I kind of feel like I didn't earn it. However, I know that about 60% of my overall test was rad, and the parts that sucked can ALL be blamed on this girl, Rebecca. I maybe shouldn't look for external sources of my own failure, but I am so pissed off and angered by her "antics" that I feel I need to share some background about her to fully "ram" the point home.

First of all, she's a pathological liar. Not like me or you, or normal people who tell little half truths all the time, but a full-blown crazy. In the past, she's tried to convince me of such things as:
1.) Her boyfriend and her got crazy drunk even though she doesn't drink on school nights when IU made it to the Final Four but she can hold her liquor and did she mention they had hot sex all night long

2.) (These convos are always in the locker room, and she'll strategically wait to start up talking until she or I or both are topless) Her boyfriend is a black belt in Tae-Kwon-Do, and apparently in her deluded fantasy land you don't have to be good at anything to be a black belt in taekwondo, and he's on the National Olympic team. Ok, that in itself I don't buy, but then she adds that she's thinking about joining the team as the "colored belt fighter" which is hilarious to me because "fighter" and "taekwondo" are about as synonomous as "no" "they're not."
Plus, let me mention here that she SUCKS and if you need proof I've nearly perfected my impersonation of her flying side kick which involves no flying of any sort and not a whole lot of kicking, so I tend to think it's pretty funny. So yeah, keep in mind that A.She sucks and B. is one of those people who do not think even a little that they suck at all, in fact she thinks she's quite awesome at everything martial because she's in taekwondo, hapkido, tkd sparring, juijitsu, etc. I don't believe her for a second.
Yeah, ok, she sucks
And she's chronically injured, which is one thing, but her "injuries" are so abysmally unbelievably MADE UP for the most part that you just want to shake her
3.) She's majoring in psychology and French and she used to live in France and she speaks the language fluently, and she's so super smart that she's going to graduate in three and a half years rather than four.
4.) Oh yeah, in JD's juijitsu class, they had a weekend seminar thing where Caiquie (a badass south amercian member of THE juijitsu people family) came and trained them, and in the version JD tells, she got tired after a few minutes and, wheezing and red-faced, was told to sit out by the instructors. SHE tells me the next monday that she got DDTed into the ground by her idiot partner who wasn't doing the throw right and hurt her unneccessarily, after which she got dizzy and passed out
5.) this is my new personal fave
She tells me this one, tonight, after timing it so she gets to see as much of my boobs as possible (she has a weird thing for them). there's a girl in her TKD sparring class who is in her weight group or something and they've fought


You know what
I need to take a shower and go to bed. My head is pounding and I am sore and exhausted and nothing has seemed more arduous than finishing my story in all my life. I'll finish up tomorrow.
everyone pester Chris to make a blog, they're so super trendy and he knows he wants to have one

I love you guys lots
*****

Ahhh, belt test day. I don't think I'll ever stop getting so nervous before them.
The good news is that I feel completely prepared, and I know I can do everything on the test. The only bad thing is how I let myself worry about the smallest things until my worrying consumes me and I disappear *POOF* in a flash of purple dust. Purple, you see, because that's the belt I want. Hahaha. Nevermind
There's so much to talk about but I need to go focus on not being nervous, so I can't tell you about my interesting weekend just yet. Maybe later on tonight, we'll see how things go:)
Anyway, I need very badly to go shower and piddle around for a couple hours before I head to campus. 5:30-8 be thinking of me. Hahahahahahaahahah
yeah, later gators
*****

Happy Saturday

So I've missed a couple days and this week is only going to get more hectic, so I should probably try to catch up now rather than thinking I'll do it sometime this coming week, because you guys aren't going to hear crap from me until after Tuesday.

So my lil sis came over Thursday night because she needed to use my stove to make Meni-Menigong, a Malisian candy type thing made entirely out of sesame seeds and sugar, and you have to carmelize the sugar which wouldn't be hard if either of us knew how. So this became an ordeal and I think she spent 12 bucks on sesame seeds alone, only to end up with a tiny pile of edible candy. The rest, made with honey, didn't work even a little, so I bought fillo dough and had kitchen fun adventure night yesterday. I have never actually made baklava, and this isn't what goes into baklava, but it was still good and I made some more with spinach and cheese inside, and it all turned out to at least be edible. My new speciality, ahhh. I thought about calling Stacey several times while Jenny was here because we were having such a hard time of it.
And then last night other than that I did very little else. I decided I need a day or two off of practicing hapkido incessantly or I'll just be burnt out bythe time the test rolls around. Did I mention I'm feeling much better about it? I feel really prepared, like there's nothing on the test I'm dreading (except the endurance part, which will of course kick my ass, especially so depending on when they make us do the eleventy billion kicks) so I am almost excited to do it. Almost. The worst part is not knowing which judge I'll have, although I've lucked out every time and had a nice one. I'm due for a bastard, I can feel it. Good thing I know what I'm doing.
And then yeah, Chris' temp test is Thursday, and I'll be watching that, and then there's a black belt test Saturday, and I'll watch that as well, and then I have my skills test Monday, and then I'm done for a couple weeks, until summer starts up. Wheeeee!!!
Oh, and I found out that it's really likely that I'll just test for blue this summer and not brown, which is FINE by me, and means instead of taking a class next fall I can just wait to test for brown until the end of the semester, which should give me plenty of time. Yay

So I feel great about all that stuff

And although I am insanely jealous about Stacey and all her visitors going to the zoo, I have lots of papers to write today, and tonight is Chauncey's Afrcian American Choral Ensemble performance that I don't know if I've mentioned, and they kick ASS and are amazing, so I'll be at that. Otherwise, I need to go take a shower, I am dirtay
CHECK OUT MY NEW LINK, JD HAS A BLOG
Catch you on the flip side

Which Rent character are you?



Yay! This confirms my suspicion that a Rent-based karaoke party is in order. Now, we need boy volunteers.
I'm so sleepy

So that's enough of THAT for one morning. well, it's almost noon
I'm not going to ethics today because I've decided it's my last chance to skip it, and keeping with the traditions I'm establishing for myself this week, I have to skip as much as possible before the end of the semester. Hahah, i am so bored. I'm too bored to actually go to my classes, isn't that sad?
I'm really sleepy today, I didn't get to bed until 2 something (which is late for me!) and I had to get up and go run an experiment this morning. I might actually go back to sleep soon. I don't want to write any papers, so I think that sounds good.
So this brat child, Derrick, comes in with his mom and they're doing Char's study first which involves a bunch of toy vehicles, I think, and only takes about 10 minutes. So this 18-month old terror (he's huge, he looks like he's four)is in there and I'm checking my email and then he starts SCREAMING like a stuck pig and doesn't stop, not even to breathe, for the duration. And they're in there for over 20 minutes, and I figure they'll come out and be like "oh, oh well, Der doesn't want to do another study" and I'd be like "no no that's FINE, please don't make me deal with the screaming tot" but NO they come out and the mom's all gung-ho about forcing him into the room again, and LO he starts screaming like he's being dipped in lava AS SOON AS we walk into the room. Sigh. And I TRY the study, I swear, and he broke some of my toys and he chewed on all the others, alternating between flinging them at the windows and at his mom's face. And the kid doesn't do it, surprise, i ask him to get me the mobit and he flings them systematically out of my reach, screaming all the live long day. I swear, the earliest ones are always the most nightmarish

piss.
So yeah, I'm thinking I should take me a nap now, since I have nooooooothing to do except wait to go to hapkido club this evening. Wheeeeee. Maybe I'll go mess with Stacey's site.
Heh hehe heh heh

Who's Your 80s Movie Icon Alter-Ego? Find out @ She's Crafty

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I LOVE QUIZZES
hahahahahaha, aha aha aha aha ah ahahahah ahah hahahahahah

Which Buff Girl Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

Which Empire Records Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

Wow, do I ever love quizzes

Good morning!
Gosh, it's so nice outside and I don't have any real classes to go to today!!!!! Yay!!!!
I have hapkido class and then I'm going to the summer jobs fair with JD and then tonight I have hapkido club, but nothing boring to sit through!!! Hooray!! My week is getting super better

I think Wednesdays are by far the best day of the school week for me. I get to sleep in and since I'm not going to the lab today (because I am "a little bit naughty") I don't have anything at all to do. Sigh, it's so wonderful to have nothing to do all morning.
I'm in such a good mood, I don't even have anything to write about.
I had a dream this morning that I was being held in this really minimum-security type jail place, but it was like a room where everyone had slumber parties every night. So I decided to run away, and I took off in the middle of one night on foot through the woods. And I came back the next day because I knew that the paper towels I had dropped would give me away, plus they had cars and knew that I would stay on the path (like a dumbass). So I came back and they tied me in a sleeping bag with someone, a boy, but I don't know who. And they thought this would stop me from trying to run away the next night because I would so want to have sex with the boy (I swear this made sense in the dream) that I wouldn't try anything.
Yeah and then I forget what happened. I don't think I ran away again.
It's fun to wake up from dreams that are so confusing.

I think I might go to school early and roll around in a patch of sun
HAVE GREAT DAYS, I LOVE YOU
*****

I am Chocolate Flavoured. I am sweet and a little bit naughty. I am one of the few clinically proven aphrodisiacs. Sometimes I can seem a little hard, but show warmth and I soon melt. What Flavour Are You?

Ok, again, I swear SWEAR I only took this once. There have been a couple where I totally lied and took it eight times, but this and Britney, no WAY
It's too freaky
*****

You’re Britney Spears! Face it, ya got it made. You’re sexy and popular, and have tons of people craving to be you. Sure, you’ve got some enemies out there, but you’ve also got a lot of people wishing they were with you. You’re the kind of person who knows you’re hot, and you’re not afraid to go all out to prove it.

What Kind of Pop Princess Are You? Quiz by Jonah
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I SWEAR I only took this once, hahahahahahahahahaha

ok, ok ok
So I got sucked into some azlyrics website that can tell you basically any and every lyric your heart could desire, except for Modest Mouse or True Love Waits by Radiohead. Not that either of those are hard to figure out comapared to, say, Tool lyrics, but come on. Nor did they have Bjork's newest album up, nyah.
I decided that instead of going to classes today I would just go to hapkido. Nice nice nice
I love not going to classes, I wish I could do it more. The class I skipped tonight that SUCKS and is really long was unimportant, and I have to go to it the next (LAST!!!!!) two times, so no big deal. Hahahaha

I took this important test online to certify that I am competent to work with human subjects in research (hilarious to me, since I've been doing this for like 8 months) and in order to pass it, you must get a 70. I BARELY passed the stupid thing, I got exactly 70, and if that's not embarrassing I don't know what is. You all should go take it, I think the url is www.research.indiana.edu and it's the Human Subjects Test link....hahahahahahaha it's way harder than i thought it would be, and to add insult to my injured pride at having scored so abysmally, Char (remember the tutorial? Page-boy haircut, "lab coordinator", the woman who plans baby showers) comes up and reassures me that she "got the same score" but made it very hard to keep a straight face when she also confided that she'd "studied for two or three hours" before she felt ready. I um, sort of flipped through the 50 page binder of test material because I was in a hurry. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, aha ah ahhs hshhshahahahahahah. Char's so weird
Oh damn
in hapkido this afternoon we ran through a purple belt test, or what we could manage in our measly 45 minute allottment of time, and OH DAMN I AM IN TROUBLE
I think I'll get the belt, yeah, but definitely make an ass of me self doing so. Apparently I can't do a couple of the kicks, which are what I'd hoped would be my saving grace, since my kicks kick ass (hahaha aha ah ah). but there are EIGHTEEN different ones, and I guess sucking at a couple won't kill me. BUT I can't do kick defenses without giggling and eating the first couple, which is so bad and wrong it's embarrassing. My only hope is that when, during the test, my partner who won't outweigh me by eleventy billion pounds will fall when I do a sweep instead of lecturing me on how I ought to do the technique, while he just picks me up and throws me on the ground. You'll notice me getting cattier and more snot-faced about people in hapkido in general this week. I apologize. i just get stressed out. I know it's silly, ok, I know I'm fine. Damn I'm fine. But it's so hideously bad to have to WAIT for the test when I would love to just do it NOW
Except I still don't know enough throws to pass it.
BUT in reality, we should all be thinking of Chris, who has his TEMP test two days after mine...and hell yes, I am going to watch it. I think if I get my purple belt he'll probably get his temp. hahahahahahahaha.
Of course he'll get his. He's a badass.
And as soon as this is done I can breathe easy, except for the skills test the next day, which is my second least favorite thing in the whole world. Aw jeeze I'm nervous. I am such a baby

which 80s hair band are you?

this quiz was made by colleen

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Well, I just ate about 600 iced animal cracker cookie things, and I feel verrrrrrrrrry nauseous. Damn they're good, though. So worth it, mmmmm. hahahahaha. Oooh, I might really puke. Bleehhh.
So this weekend has been one big non-stop thrill ride, at times. And then in between it's kind of bored my socks off like you wouldn't believe.
Friday was altogether BORING, the only thing that happened was I cut my hair, all by myself, and it's actually much better off now, although yes shorter. The ends were getting extremely nastacious there for awhile, all split and brittle. yay for healthy hair. I'm thinking of dropping out of school and taking hairdressing classes. I should really learn a trade, since a PhD in psychology isn't going to get me anywhere but the unemployment line, har har har
Hey how many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I love the "softer sciences."
So I'm counting down the days now to my purple belt disaster, as I've taken to calling it, and I'm definitely scared. My rational brain knows I'll be fine, i don't suck THAT bad, I can fake it through one more lower belt test, but after this if I don't start kicking ass, I am fucked. this is the last lower belt, and I want to test up to brown this summer. riiiiiiiight
Everyone think happy thoughts about me on Tuesday of not this week but the next, the 16th. thanks

Saturday was boring too, for most of the day. I sat around and watched lots of MTV, and they had a special about their Slut Queen Supreme having to show her boyfriend the video of her "earning her crown" by humping several guys and making out with two of them. Ha, let's say the boyf was "p-o ed" at her slut antics, and it all made for hilarious entertainment.
Then last night we (me, JD, Raedy, Melissa, Ronnie--Raedy's friend) went to taste of Asia, the most famous AAA event,, which of course roomie Chris was spearheading. And it was outside, and it was cold as balls, and Chris' Fillipino group did an awesome dance involving a cute little Asian girl making googly come-hither eyes at Chris and trying to seduce him with her MTV dance moves. And then they did a thing where the boys came out with folding chairs and danced around with them like badasses, and for a second or two I actually would have believed he was hetero. Hahahahahah. And then there was free food, which was the best part (hahaha, kidding, kidding).
And since yesterday also happened to be chris' 21st birthday, we had gone out, bought him an air mattress(he's been sleeping on a palatte on the floor for the whole school year) and a pump and some little stuff, and we set it all up in his room. And then we wrapped the air pump and a bottle of ketchup and set them on the table with his Cowboy N-Sync card and watched him try to act happy with our shitty, thoughtless gifts. And then, before Melissa could laugh herself totally silly at how nice he was being, we took him upstairs and he was very much surprised. And we are awesome roommates. And and and and and and and and
So then Chris other Chris had come over, and as roomie Chris got dolled up for a big night of drinking, we all watched SNL, and it was the best one I've seen in a long time. Jimmy Eat World seemed nervous and whinier than usual, though. At least their first song did. Cameron Diaz sucks SO MUCH ASS after last night, I don't ever want to see another movie with her in it. I highly doubt she bothered going to rehearsal, she had problems reading the cue cards and saying the correct things. Anyway
So then after Chris D left and Raedy had left and Melissa was asleep so Jd and I just went to sleep, and when we woke up this morning and got out of bed around noon, roomie Chris was nowhere to be found, and no one else was home. we sat around, later on Melissa and I went jogging (woohoo for us!!!) and when we came home Chris called (this was after 5) and said he had a story for us.
Boy howdy, did he ever!
They were all out drinking at a club, and then they went to Steak and Shake to eat, but they were waiting outside because Chris felt nauseous, and while they were sitting on the curb minding their own damn business, some IUPD fuckers came out of the restaurant and started asking him questions. he didn't answer them "coherently" enough, so they CALLED AN AMBULANCE AND TOOK HIM TO THE HOSPITAL, where they hooked him to an IV and made him stay for a few hours. Jesus, you'd think the cops would have SOMETHING else to do. He also got a public intox ticket, of course. We're all glad he's ok, but pissed that IUPD children who can't even fill out the ticket correctly (they had his license in-hand and still got his birthdate wrong) have the authority to do this shit. I hate Bloomington's drinking laws. they can get you for the dumbest shit, like if you decide you're too drunk to drive and you're going to sleep it off in your car, you get ticketed for being behind the wheel, even if your keys were in the trunk. BULLSHIT!!!!!!
So tonight we've all been trying to figure out what he can do, and I've been putting off my homework, and and and and and and so so so so so so so
yeah, so to ease the pain I needed to eat as many iced animal crackers as possible, and I think I managed it.
I want to go camping soon. It's so dang nice outside, and my weekends after this next one are going to be so freeeee, and I think it would be fun. I know everyone's pressed for time this summer, so it's ok if we can't get a bunch of people to go. I like it though, and I want to go somewhere around here.

Yay for the end (of the semester) being in sight. I am counting down the days remaining in most of my classes, and the shitty ass one tomorrow night that I hate only meets three more times, counting tomorrow. I think I can handle it. I'm thinking about not going to it anyway, since I can just email him my homework and say I don't feel well. I don't know, skipping it three times with the same lame-o email might be pushing it. Aw fuck it, my week would kick so much ass if I didn't have to go to it. Fucck, inner turmoil, can't decide, can't decide BRAIN ANYEURISM!! hahaha, I can't spell worth shat
I think I need to get my ass going on a week from tomorrow's homework, so i can better focus on freaking out about my belt test.
Jeeze, guys, sorry this was so incredibly boring. I swear things'll get more interesting...sometime. Ha, hahahahaha ahaha ahah hahahahah, whew. I'm getting itchy for a road trip, which seems to happen to me every three weeks or so. I know I was just home, but that doesn't seem to count. Maybe if I have time I'll go visit Stacey. 2 hours is the perfect amount of time to spend in a car on a weekend trip, I think.
Or I'll be panicking, doing joint locks in my sleep, writing all eighteen papers I need to finish by Tuesday, driving myslef crazy
we'll see
Yes, well, I've bored even myself. enough updating for now
Smooches and lovey hugs to you all
HAHAHAHAHA AHA AHA AHA AHHAHA AHHAHHA HAHAHA
I am so hilarious
*****

Gosh it feels early today. It's a little after 10 am.
I registered for fall this morning, and guess what I'm taking to get to 12 credits. Guess.
Personal finance, hahahahaha aha ahahah ahahah ahahah hhahah. Yeah. For now, at least, I'm registered for a business class. I don't know what's wrong with me, I think I might be feverish.
I took all Stacey's posted quizzes and I'm A Box of Vegan Buffalo Wings and Sir Ian McKellan, respectively. I got tired of posting them on here too. I figure you guys only take them once anyway. Ok, gotta go

I'm so lazy. So so so lazy
It's so wonderful to be lazy...I feel like a cat today, I just want to stretch and roll around on the floor in the sun and purr because I'm so content. hahahahahahahaha. But you know what I'll end up doing. Right, getting dressed and dragging my ass to campus to snooze through ethics and the weird study subject i have coming afterwards. Sigh

Oh guess what. My crazy suck week that I knew was coming up (not next week, but the week of the 15th) got compounded horribly when I learned that my purple belt test is that Tuesday as well. So EVERYTHING I have left to do this whole semester comes down to that fucking week. Pisssssss. I am not at all ready for the test, I stress out about those things WAY more than normal tests....I feel like insted of improving I'm stagnating and getting worse in there, which makes for a sucky ass test. I'm not even sure I understand what all is on the damn thing, let alone know how to do them. BAAAAAAH. I DO have time, I know, i know, i can bust my ass and get ready, but I hate hate hate the countdown to testing. It makes me so jumpy. And I hate feeling unprepared for it. Thank gawd club is free all next week, I'll have to go learn how to be a purple belt.
You can all expect a lot more bitching about that test as the time approaches.
It's on a Tuesday, the same day that our second paper in ethics is due, the day after the 11 page journal AND 6 page paper are due in my killing class. That sucks so bad. That weekend is already shot.
But then, THEN, I'm done. there are just a few tiny assignments left after that. Sweet

i will live through this, hahahahahahahaha.
Ok, it's time for me to think about going to campus and doing some work

So I promised I'd be back after tv watching time, and voila. Sorry about my rant. i'm not hormonal or anything, but Stacey I know exactly what you mean about babies getting to you when they never used to. Nature is so fucked up like that. Reason tells me I don't want a baby at this point in my life, but working with the little shits all the time makes it really hard to focus on things like "career" and "school" when I want to sit around and have people tell me I'm glowing and send them out for Lucky Dragon egg rolls and peppermint ice cream and I want to be allowed to freak out and cry all the time and throw tantrums and take photos of myself in a bikini....
aw damn
What happens to women when they reach their early 20s? I'm freaked out.
Maybe it's more of the fact that school is wrapping up, and even though yeah, ok, there's another year (at least:) for most of us, after that what the fuck happens? I know a bunch of us are planning to end up in Chicago, which would totally rock my socks off, but who the hell knows what will happen.
I keep realizing (i guess it's not a "realization" after the first nine times) that people like my friends do not come easy, and they don't exist in every city...I know everyone's said shit like that lately, especially since everyone seemed to be dealing with a mopey lonely spell (and maybe still are?) recently, but it's so fucking true. You don't just stumble across people you get along with this well. I don't know why I'm being so mooshy. I just can't get over how lucky we all are to have each other, and be so close even though we're all so far apart. I love how we each have our own distinct life and future mapped out and that no one's gotten knocked up or died....it's amazing how straight our heads are screwed on.
Fuck
I am preachy tonight. Sorry. Baaahhahahah
So anyway, thanks for being rad, guys. I can't ooze enough happy today

Yeah, I'm fucking lucky to have what I do

fuck, everything is so awesome. I love this weather, i love this time of year
Actually, i love every time of year. It's so nice to feel awake for the first time in months
I think I may have taken X instead of headache medicine awhile ago. I'm all grinny-possum and giddy for no reason except I think everything kicks ass. Fuck, that is so weird

Have a great week everyone
Smooches
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ow
Ow, my head HURTS
My head always hurts, I think I have a tumor. I'm like Tonya from the Real World, I'm always crying about some mythical physical ailment that "chronically" plagues me and hurts. Ow though
Ok, I took some pills. Should stop whining soon.

what a fucking day.
So first I go to the lab, bright and early (ok, it was like 11) to run a weird study kid, and i get the room set up and the camera and everything and then i grab the only parking tag we have in our lab and run outside, only to find that there are two moms parked and waiting at the edge of the lot. So the first one flags me down and asks if I'm waiting for a Jennifer, and I thought she was talking about herself, and I don't care what the moms call themselves, I just talk to the kids. So I say yes, and we find her a place to park, and THEN I realize that the second mom is the one I want, and don't I feel dumb. So "jennifer" has no one out there waiting for her, which is a no no, except for this Jenna girl I've never met who claimed to be from the Mix lab (I'm in the Smith lab). And SHE didn't have a permit on her, which was irritating, since you SHOULD if you're waiting for a kid...sheesh. So then no one knows who "jennifer" is and Jenna suggests I walk THAT mom inside, find another permit for my mom, find the lab that needs a "jennifer" and come back out, park my subject, and walk back up the stairs. i think this is a stupid plan, but I finally just agree to it, even though i think jenna should have had to go inside and do all the bullshit. So I HUNT all over the damn building, first for the lab she's supposed to take her 7 month old to, and that's unsuccessful, and I'mm starting to wonder if she just showed up unsceduled to "help out" with research, as some crazy ladies do when they're really bored, and I was getting pissy. So finally one of the labs pretends they might have been expecting her and I take off to look for another permit. And each lab only has one, and since there are like six labs in my building I figured it wouldn't be a big deal. but NO, every single permit is "being used" probably by the labs sneaky undergrads, and i end up writing DO NOT TICKET ME, I AM IN A STUDY on paper and having the mom stick it on her dash. which won't stop the ticketers, but oh well. So THEN Jenna comes strolling over and offers to get in her car and get her key to the Mix Lab's permit, and go to the third floor and get it and bring it down, so we wait for her to do that
And THEN we go inside. And the fucking kid didn't even do the experiment right. I mean, Ok, she's 18 months old and smart for her age, but let's say I was doing the study on you:
I show you four neat toys, one at a time, and let you play with them, then I take each one of them and put them in a bucket and dump them out, one at a time, and the last one disappears into the bucket because it's magical. then i show you the same four toys (a different set) and ask you to pick the Mobit or something, of course you grab for the disappeared toy, right?!?!? Yeah, not this girl. She did get one of three, so ok, but it wasn't what I wanted to see after my permit wrastlin
Sigh
And then in ethics we talked (and by talked here I mean repeatedly jerked ourselves awake in our seats as we came dangerously close to toppling forward out of them as our heads neared the desks and upset our balance) more about death and dying, and there are some stupid opinionated people (yes they're stupid, not cause they're opinionated but because they're stupid) who raise their hands and make comments about how to define euthanasia and then add righteously, "Some states would consider that murder," after like we don't KNOW it's controversial. this is the same boy who monopolized an entire class by bringing up a case he thought was "interesting" from the "popular" show Boston Public, which was a made-for-tv atrocity about incestually impregnating a 12 year old daughter to harvest the newborn's organs to provide the sick mother with transpplant possibilities that would never happen in real life, and i hate him.
School sucked again today.
You know what else sucks? I register for fall on Friday, and I am at a loss for classes to take. I have my thesis for 6 hours (woohoooooo) and a crim. jus. class for 3, and that's it. I'm so beyond done with everything else by that point it's obscene. I have hapkido (maybe, if I have a brown belt by August) for one more credit, and yoga for one, but I need to have 12 and that adds up to 11. That's one more, isn't it (hahahah, eleven, get it, hahahah, spinal tap, hahah)
I am so fucked. I don't WANT to take another HPER class, I am sick of psych and cjus, and there's nothing like "rock climbing" that doesn't cost extra money. I was thinking about a computer class or something, but I hate IBM. I refuse to take more than 12 hours. i shouldn't have to by now. Fuck
So nevermind, I'll figure it out.
Oh hahahah in ethics, the whole time we were discussing death, I had that song from Rent about "will I lose my dignity" or whatnot in my head. It was hilarious. I don't knwo why

So how bout that game, huh? yeah i dont' want to talk about it
i think they both played badly enough that a mis-game should have been called and no one awarded the championship. But I'm not Princess Basketball, I'm just Princess Liz

Ooh, 9:43, the new Real World is on in a few minutes....I'll have to go soon

Taste of Asia is this weekend, and it GAY PRIDE WEEK if you didn't know, tomorrow is the day of silence march thingy and Saturday is Chris' birthday. Lots of stuff to look forward to. Like being done with this gawdawful semester.
And having almost a week off before summer classes start!!! i have one final and it's on Thursday, at night, so I'm free the whole week of finals and until Tuesday of the next week, minus that test. I hate ethics and I hate essay tests. i think people should just be allowed to do whatever the fuck they want to. people are fucking pleasure seeking by nature, dammit, and no one should have to worry about ethical theory or consequences of their actions. I think morality is so overrated. hahahaha, listen to me. I don't get away with anything and I still talk like that. when will I ever learn
So yeah, for anyone out there keeping score, I think my dark gloomy raincloud mood has passed on, and I'm fine again. I'd had about enough of March, but I'm good now. it really is easier to deal with things when you can get a little distance and see what exactly was making you miserable in the first place. I'm always dumb about that, I'm always trying to cling to things that suck because I dont' like admitting that ______ didn't work out. And i'm really dumb about insisting that I be the center of someone's universe and not returning the favor, if that makes sense. Look at me, I have patterns. But I don't care. It's so nice to be optimistic, and be able to see something that once made you happy but just makes you feel like kicking something now, and to be able to chalk it up to a cosmic miscalculation of astronomical proportions that never should have gotten to the point where it made you unhappy, and to be able to realize that you're better off without whatever it is than you ever were before...I just want to rant, a little. I feel so lucky all the damn time these days, and it's amazing how comfortable I am in my life now. I LOVE all you guys, especially those of you who read this, because I know who both of you are:) I love that my family is finally starting to feel like a family instead of three people with nothing to keep them together now that the only seeming common denominator is gone. I am so lucky to have so many people that care so unquestioningly about me, and I wouldn't trade the friends I have for anything or anyone in the world. i doubt any of us would.

Oh fucking shit get me off this high horse
I have to go watch tv
*****

take the which one of the trading spaces cast are you? quiz!



Ha, I love quizzes. Ha, I love trading spaces

So today is shaping up to be looooooooong
I have already been up for hours, and I'm in a computer lab on campus. I don't think I'll have any time to update this tonight, what with the GAME being on, and all the crap I need to get done between the end of class and it's beginning. 4 hours 18 minutes to hike to my car (it's SO goddamn far away today, it'll take half an hour) and drive home and read stuff for ethics class tomorrow and go jogging and go to the grocery and then probably go to campus and get JD so he can come over and watch it too, and if I haven't taken a shower by then I'll need one, and and and
It's going to be pushing it. But I was thrilled to find out the game starts at 9:18 instead of 7 something, so I'm not complaining. I WILL complain that I have to sit through my least favorite class ever this afternoon, so from 2:30 to 5 think of me and how miserable I am, sitting and waiting for it to be my turn to have to espouse some sort of insightful bullshit about how I too think terrorism is bad, especially when people die, and yeah, I pretty much agree with the rest of the class. i never thought I would wish so badly for a professor to lecture. A two-hour lecture would be soooo nice and refreshing. I just don't know how to deal with that class. Other than telling myself that it's only meeting three more times after tonight. And I will also complain that I came to the psych building to turn in this authorization form so I can take my lab class over the summer and they have a lunch break from 12 -1, so NO ONE is in the advising office at all. Seems fishy to me. Someone should be in there, at least a secretary or something

I think I'm giddy because of this awesome weather. It's so nice, finally, and it so feels like spring here. I wish I didn't have any classes today...
Or maybe I'm excited because the end is in sight, and I can finally count the number of things I have left to turn in for the whole semester on one hand. That's so awesome. Of course, they're all 7 page papers, but who cares. I can write papers in my sleep after this fucking semester, I swear. And then summer classes are just going to be the standard boring psych lecture class, with the standard three tests and the note-taking, and I'm actually really looking forward to something unchallenging. And then of course, there's the lab, always the lab. I have like fifty experiments to run this week. Or three, but it seems like 50.
Sheesh, I'm so tired of everything but so happy that it's almost done sucking. I cannot wait for summer. I thought I would maybe go find a job, but I know how much aid I'm getting and I don't need to. I can just go to hapkido club every night all summer. yay. I might look anyway, so I can buy more frivolous things to make me happy. Hahahahahah, I can be so obscene
Not even 12:30? Shit. Oh, btw, this thing always says I posted at a time that's 4 or 5 hours off. I don't know why, I have tried changing it but it's always wrong. Just ignore the time stamp thing, it sucks so bad

So Melissa has a BOOOOOOY, and so I don't ruin the surprise for any of you she might be planning to tell, you'll just have to ask her about her evening last night yourselves. Suffice it to say that he's cute and nice and as Raedy put it "is one of those guys who would stand up if he were meeting you for the first time and extend his hand." So I like him, but before I decide that for sure I'll need to hear all about yesterday.
I've been trying to think of my favorite meal for Stacey and I have no idea
OOOH
Wait
yes I do

My dad used to make this stuff he called "spaghetti carbonara" or something, and it involved eggs and bacon and spaghetti, and I used to adore it, and I haven't had it since he last made it, so it's been awhile. You woud probably want to serve that with some kind of bread, and since I like wheat bread, you would want that kind. In a french loaf, of course....even if that's contradictory to its being french, it should be wheat. Or that sweet mini loaf stuff they sell at Schnucks. And you would need to find wine to go with it, because that's what my parents drank with it, and I always had to have milk, which I don't think goes very well with spaghetti. And then dessert, I would say carrot cake. I think even more than chocolate, I like carrot cake. Or sixlets, or something. Hahahaha
I THINK that's my favorite meal, but I'll have to get the recipe from my mom if she still knows it, I think there was some secret ingredient thing about it. And the cake definitely must have cream cheese icing
Gawd I'm hungry now. Only 5 more hours until I can go home and eat

I am so dreading this class.
It sucks SO BAD, I can't even explain. Maybe, maybe maybe maybe tonight it'll be interesting because we've started a new book, and maybe people will have interesting things to say, and maybe we won't resort to going around the room. Please oh please. It's so unbearable. It's so tedious and LONG. I'll just have to hope that it's fun tonight, or something. Who knows. Weird shit happens all the time, right?
Now I'm mopey about having to sit through it. i wish I could skip it so bad, but I have to turn in two things and get two things back, and I have a feeling he won't buy my sudden illness email for a third time, especially since this is only once a week. Sheesh
I'll live.

I think I need to go sit outside and wait until it's time for hapkido now, that should cheer me up enough to convince me to go to class. And while I'm in class, I'll just do something neurotic like run through the entire soundtrack of movies I like to entertain myself. That should ease the boredom a smidge.
I didn't mean to write a novel
Ooops
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