Can't stop the rain or the snow

Today I'm off to Chicago. Going to drive up a day early and visit my Grandma, also Dr. Auntie...I think I'm going to end up going to "folk music night" with them all tonight, unless I just sit around reading something instead. Ha.

Raedy and I are planning to "caravan" up there sometime around 3, with me off to Lisle and her off to Mike's house...so then we'll meet up again, I guess, at the "grad student party" that is going to be the lamest thing in the world, scheduled for Saturday night. Other than that, we have no idea of our schedules. I think Sunday is a dinner party, and Monday is definitely the "meet the faculty" round robin.

Yikes. I'm excited but insanely (of course I am, it's ME) nervous about this all....you've all seen how lame I am in social situations. Hopefully there'll be lots of liquor. Hahahaha.
Anyway, I have a ton still left to do today, so I'll actually keep this a reasonable length....congrats once again to Chris and Janel for getting in to places!!!! ROCK ON, ALL OF US!!


That reminds me...North Carolina, the last school, emailed me yesterday to let me know that I am "on the waiting list" for admission. I very nearly wrote back a snotty "go fuck yourselves" email talking about how I "don't need their offer, and definitely don't need their sloppy seconds." Hahaha, still not quite mature enough for anything importnant, I suppose.

I'll be back sometime Monday night. Ya'll have good weekends, now.

Smooches!

SUCK IT, STACEY


Orlando Bloom: you like them dead sexy, with an
orgasmic accent and looks. *drool*


Which guy are you destined to have sex with?
brought to you by Quizilla



Also, I forgot to mention this earlier:

More people came to do my thesis today, and again after it was over, I was complimented on my "beautiful eyebrows" by not one but BOTH the participants, who then proceded to fawn over them and gush about how they get theirs waxed but mine look so much better for, oh, about fifteen minutes. That's twice in as many weeks that I've been complimented on my eyebrows. During my thesis. How fucking bizarre is that?

Love Came Calling as a Counterfeit Mistress

So:

*I just received a phone call from "tyler, don't worry about it," one of my sister's supposed "friends" who wanted to know if "jenny could borrow my ID so she could go out to the bars with them" and was calling because Jenny didn't want to do it herself.
I pointed out that
A. Jenny doesn't look enough like me, and they'll pick up on this and take the ID away, leaving me up shit creek without a paddle (I have to drive my ass to Chicago this weekend, have identification on me if I plan to be filling out any paperwork, and a million other reasons, etc.)

B. No. In fact, no fucking way.

The "tyler, don't worry about it" boy was then insistent, saying, "oh, COME on, she'll buy you a new license if it gets taken away."

Sigh. I hate having to "lay down the law."

*Jenny has changed her buddy icon to (I am not making this up) the nasty picture of me from the lab website with the word "SMART" written across it in huge letters. Nice job, sis. Just for that, you're not getting the comp cd after all.

* JANEL mentioned in Stacey's comments section that she's gotten into grad school!!!! AWESOME!!! GO JANEL!!!!

* I had a stupid-ass dream last night (this stupid-ass dream thing is becoming oh-so-common with me) wherein I was standing around outside a high school gymnasium, and I could see all these ghosts and spirits I'd never been able to see before, and I kept telling them to "go to the light" and to "cross over to the other side" and "go home." And then there were some stubborn ones, who wouldn't go, and they would come over to look at the book I was holding (which was continually changing and projecting to whoever looked at it the whole of their life, being channeled by Sylvia Browne, to convince people that I knew what I was talking about and they should, in fact, go to the light. hahahahaha.

*I have somehow found my way onto Brah Maglinger's email list, which has been the unlikely forum for a bunch of retards to discuss whether or not AIDS is a government conspiracy to kill off all the homosexuals. Now, I think we all know that Keith was kidding, but I'm not so sure about the other guy.....if it continues, I shall have to begin posting the emails here on this blog, for those of you who may not be on the mailing list. Trust me, it is a laugh riot.

*I am sitting here, on my couch, typing on my trendy laptop and sipping coffee out of a NASCAR mug, and am struck with the hilarity of "what it means to be headed to graduate school."

*Last night I booked my week-long gratuitous vacation/visit fest to California, which will be happening, suck-tastically enough, over USI's spring break week. In fact, I'll arrive home from California JUST in time to begin MY spring break. Hahahah, aha hahahaha.

*Friday I'll be driving up to Chicago, to stay overnight with my grandma (hopefully, I need to call her still) and then Saturday head over to U of C for my very first visit. teehee, I am nervous. They have placed me with a flaming gay man named Mark as my host, and I thought nothing of it until a meek little girl named Jen something called me last night and asked, a thousand times (after I was like "honestly, I don't care, whatever works for you guys is fine") if I was "comfortable" staying with a boy, since they've never ever in the history of the school ever ever paired a girl with a boy or vice versa. hello, that guy is the most blatantly gay person I've ever spoken to on the phone....what's the fucking problem? Anyway.

*If I happen to die on one of my thousand flights (I'm also going to visit Cornell at the end of March, whee!) in the next few weeks, or whatever, I want you guys to all know that I love you. I have a bad, sneaking feeling that I'm about to die. Oh well.

*Look for new nerd-fest hapkido pictures in the next few days, if I can get them from Meredith to scan into my photo page. I'll of course let you know, but there are some SUPER flattering ones of JD with his tshirt pulled over his head and his underwear up around his nipples, grimacing.

*I think that's about it. HIGH FIVE to Raedy for reposting that lovely picture of my sis on her blog. I laughed a lot.

winked at me from across the ice rink

went home on a "whim" this weekend, desperately needing to buy "grown-up" clothes. Spent a small fortune but justify it by telling self that

A. It's all Fabulous clothing that I love
B. I also happened to SAVE a small fortune, so it almost cancels out. Ha.

I'll show you guys all my pretty dress up clothes sometime. I even got a suit. Ha. A fucking suit. I felt like a business major. But, I like everything I bought a LOT, so that's nice.

While home JD and I decided to go see a movie Saturday night, couldn't decide between Old School or David Gale. what settled it was the fact that we (this is still cracking me up) ran into Toni, Dustin, CHUCK, and AMY at the theater, all there on some warped DOUBLE DATE. So, to oblige Dustin and his frantic, desperate pleas for us to "not leave," we made it a TRIPLE date and saw Old School. So amusing. So so amusing, compounded by the fact that

A. there were boobs for all of one-eightieth of a second, and amy turned away until Chuck told her "they were gone."

B. Chuck laughed a little too loud and a little too long at all the bits about Will Ferrell's character's marriage failing after about six hours. Hahahaha, ahaha hahahaha.

C. We all (minus JD, always the trooper, who ran off to Troy's office) stood around awkwardly in the hall after the movie, discussing (I am not making this up) the WEATHER in Phoenix versus the weather here, then the different types of foliage in Phoenix, then how grass and trees are RARE there.

D. They announced that they'd be leaving early Sunday to "beat" the "snowstorm" that was supposed to sweep through Indiana, apparently all at once, and apparently heading directly west....nevermind.

E. As they finally disentangled themselves from the awkward situation, AMY HUGGED ME GOODBYE. Nothing makes me laugh harder than DEFINITIVE proof that someone doesn't read my blog. She fucking hugged me. Why. I don't get it. I almost busted up laughing right then.

So yeah, you had to be there, but it was awesome. Then after, me and JD and Toni and Dustin and Troy went to IHOP, where of course Biscuit was working, but didn't wait on us, and the manager made us Orange Juliuses. and they kicked it hard. Ha.

Came home yesterday, went to the lab this morning and ran some stats, thanks to Hanako, you'll all be SO thrilled to know that my results seem to be leaning toward significant, which is a big deal only if you're a total nerd. made my day though. These days it doesn't seem to take much.

In fact, something makes my day EVERY day. Sheesh.

So then I went to one of my classes, and we got out early because the prof said his car was in a ditch 30 miles away and he thought he needed to go take care of it. So then I decided judiciously not to go to my other class that he teaches, since I am a lazy ass and won't be able to go for the next three weeks since I'll be visiting schools. Hopefully, I don't miss anything. Probably, I will be totally fucked when I go back. Sigh.

I can't believe how lazy I've been....I keep telling myself it's ok though, since I'll have NO free time whatsoever once this weekend hits...BLAMMO

Instead of class, I made comp cds. And talked to the woman from Kent State I want to work with. Well, that's not the right way to say it, since I don't give a shit about Kent (did I mention I also got the official letter from Cornell today? Sweet tits), but she was nice and only at the END of the conversation did she hint that I haven't actually been admitted, since they do interviews first. Hmmm. Fuck that. I'm not moving it from my column down there on the left. Fuck it.

So in making my comp cds, I got to thinking about how every fucking song in the universe is about love, or seems to be, whether you're in love or lust or a relationship or ever have been or ever wanted to be....and I have a bad habit of attributing things that aren't talking about me (lyrics) to me, just for the fuck of it, so lets just say that my mind went on a huge vacation and I decided that songs, lyrical songs, the music industry, whatever, PERPETUATE heartache among people who would otherwise recover faster. think about it. you suffer a nasty breakup or letdown or loss of any sort, and you hear it rubbed in your face constantly on the radio. Not to mention that all the BEST songs are ABOUT loss. And they're all so LADEN with connotations, and personal meaning and things that you could never express in words....it's a billion times easier to make someone a comp cd than it is to sit down and try to talk things through. A comp cd is worth....well, it's definitely easier than six hour phone marathons. And probably it gets the point across better too.

Anyway, I think I was about to rant but just couldn't get over the edge. Maybe later, when I'm feeling more "jazzed" about it.

Tomorrow is another chance to drag my lazy ass off the fucking floor and do something productive. Hopefully, I will seize this chance and not convince myself to watch Passions and show up on campus just in time for hapkido. Sigh. I guess tomorrow I'll try to write my results section of my thesis. Suck.

Oh, and Stace, you still owe me a phone call.

Contents of latest comp cds: (because I know you were curious, and this blog is in danger of being TOO interesting)

Shudder to Think-Red House* Skeleton Key-Panic Bullets* The Police-Bring on the Night* Twilight Singers-Last Temptation* Faith No More-The Gentle Art of Making Enemies* Black Heart Procession-Did You Wonder* Pavement-No Tan Lines* The Bears-Under the Volcano* The Strokes-Last Nite* Ozma-Shooting Stars* Dave Matthews Band-Captain* Modest Mouse-Dramamine* King Crimson-Happy with what you have to be happy with* Jeff Buckley-I woke up in a strange place* Fugazi-Arpeggiator* The Jesus Lizard-Blue Shot* Tomahawk-Sir yes sir* Jeff Buckley-Forget Her* Mogwai-Take Me Somewhere Nice* Twilight Singers-Twilite Kid* Jimmy Eat World-Ramina* Radiohead-Like Spinning Plates* Jeremy Enigk-Explain* Jeff Buckley-Despite the Tears* Donnie Darko Soundtrack-Mad World* Bjork-It's Not Up to You* Faith No More- take This Bottle* Radiohead-Morning Bell* Mogwai-You Don't Know Jesus* Black Heart Procession- A Cry for Love* Jeff Buckley-Last Goodbye*


And a copy of them to the first person who correctly identifies the origin of my title for today, in Stacey's comments section. Ha. I'm so boring. So motherfucking boring.

A bazillion dollars to the first person to correctly identify the origins of THIS:

"Something About Her"
Here I am, not knowing where I stand.
Here I am, looking for a place to land.
My heart in the palm of her hand,
A boy dying to be her man.
Between tomorrow and yesterday
What I really want to say
Is that I'm falling for something about her.
She is to me the rainbow through the rain.
She is to me the laughter through the pain.
Like sugar from the cane, directly through my veins.
She's living in my dreams
She's a vision, and it seems
That I'm falling for something about her
My life has been a ship sailing sea to sea.
My life has been completely set free.
Moments of ecstasy, all I could hope it to be.
Now with her I'd like to share
To show her how much I care
'Cause I'm falling for something about her.
I'd like to say I'll love her night and day
I'd like to say I'll never turn away
Forever, come what may
By her side I'll always stay
She's every star that's in the sky
Every glimmer in my eye
And I'm falling for something about her.

Though the Meaning Fits...

So, guys, did I forget to mention the other night (Monday) when I went to drop off a roll of film at CVS and the guy took forever in helping me because HE WAS ON THE PHONE REPORTING THAT THEY'D JUST BEEN ROBBED? I think I may have forgotten. So sorry. He came over and I was all "Did you just get ROBBED?!?" and he's all "yeah, it happens all the time, though." Like trying to impress me. hahaha. It was really funny.

So. I have a pretty convincing feeling that I am About to Die. Things are just too fantastic. Every single fucking thing, even the things I complain about most on here, is or has been worked out. every fucking thing. It's insane. There's got to be a catch to this. I'm just waiting for the "other shoe to drop."

Ha. But anyway, I've a long day of babying myself in front of the Passions tv because I have one of my three-day headaches that's not really a migraine so there's nothing I can do about it. And people refuse to sign up for my study, so there's not much to do in the lab.

I'll get there eventually though.

Is blogging as pretentious as non-bloggers think it is? I mean, I realize fully that my blog is A. boring and B. just a place for me to hear myself talk, but so? Isnt' that a nice kind of catharsis for most of us? Not you guys reading my blog, but just writing crap as often as possible? Just a thought.

If, by some chance, I DO die soon, it's totally cool because there's nothing left unfinished. I love all you guys. I hope everyone starts doing what they need to instead of stopping themselves because they "should."

As Your Temple Turns to Kiss the Pistol

*Some of you may have noticed the "sibling fight" going on in Stacey's comments section. I find this to be hilarious. But for Jenny: I AM SORRY about the picture....it seriously was the only one I happened to have right there, and you have to be ON my shit list to see it, teehee, so I thought it would be ok. Except then I told everyone to go look at it. But remember how you willingly sent that stupid thing to me? Of your own accord? Had I kept any of the also-staged pictures of your friends pretending to be passed out in piles of beer cans, you can bet those would have comprised the remainder of the pictures. SO I AM SORRY THAT YOU'RE UPSET. Please retract your threat to get even with me.

*I received some interesting mail today. One thing was telling me that I got another grant, some snooty one from the Honors College (I am not in the Honors College) that I assumed I wouldn't get (WOOOOOOO HOOOOO!!) for 500 bucks, and then some credit card stuff.

Now, I applied for a mastercard recently and they wrote to lemme know that I am NOT eligible because I HAVE A BANKRUPTCY ON FILE AND THUS, THEY THINK I AM A POOR CREDIT RISK.

WHAT?!? I am TWENTY ONE, I think I would remember a fucking BANKRUPTCY in the last THREE YEARS OF MY FUCKING LIFE. If this has anything at all to do with my mom filing one a couple years ago, she is so totally dead. I'ma kill her. Anyone know anything about credit? Have any advice on rebuilding it? Or building it from scratch? it's times like this I wish Jarrod's dad and I had stayed in touch

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

So, anyway. I have a free evening ahead of me, which will indubitably be spent doing something idiotic and impulsive, as the rest of my day has been spent.

Black-eyed angels swam with me

So. I just woke up from the World's Most Vivid Dream, in which I went to visit an unenthused Keith at his girl "friend's" house that was supposedly in Florida but was really some way far off random place. Most of the dream is already lost, as I had to go and wake up from it (stupid, stupid me) but the parts that I do remember are just bizarre. I won't get started on my Sylvia Browne dream interpretations, but suffice it to say that this dream, however trivial, has changed my attitude toward the whole situation since I've been awake (for, oh, the last 16 minutes). Nothing really happened in this dream, I remember that I was going to try to "make" Keith talk to me (as has been suggested as a course of action in the past) by showing up uninvited on his turf, and find something of value to say. The dream went realistically as I would've expected this course of action to really go in real life...

He has suggested to me recently (in real life, now, pay attention) that if we ever were to try to be friends again, we would realize immediately that we just annoy each other constantly and it wouldn't be worth it. This may be true (although I happen to believe firmly that it is NOT necessarily the case), but I'd rather have the realization myself instead of being told to have it, if that makes sense. I think it's safe to assume that this dream came from my frustration about that and the whole situation...but who knows. Maybe I astrally travelled to this place and it all really happened. It consisted of me showing up, following him around for a couple scenes, and then not being able to find anything important to say when he was all "fine, WHAT, WHAT do you want?" Oh, the fucking hilarity of realistic dreams.

I have, admittedly, been acting like a pouty child about this whole thing, and that's just not what I should be doing. It's very frustrating when the whole entire rest of my life falls neatly into place and I have no control or say in what happens with this. But like I said, something about that dream altered my attitude. We'll see how long the creepy realness of the thing lasts.

While I'm at it, I should also say that I don't hate Shane, whatsoever. I don't understand exactly what's going on with him, and obviously I'm not overtly concerned, but I definitely am not harboring some secret anger at him (or not so secret). He's always been an easy target, because he doesn't fight back, and every single one of us plays the making fun of each other game. If you don't fight back even a little, of COURSE you get ganged up on, of COURSE you get overwhelmed....but that doesn't mean anyone dislikes you.

Not that my two cents on that subject matters for shit.

The only person worthy of all the pent-up anger I have is Josh, and I think that's so easy to agree on that we should all use our special mocking powers for good instead of evil and aim them, Care Bear Stare like, at Tri-State University, hopefully exploding the whole stupid frat house stinking of urine and beer, and enact positive social change. Yeah.

In other good news, California is going for my Master Plan, and it looks like I'll be out there pretty much the whole week that USI has spring break....leaving MY own spring break (probably) open to A.Visit Louisville and B.Write my fucking thesis up.

Also, in the best news of all, after a ridiculous TWO WEEKS OF WAITING, I received the Official Email from CORNELL telling me I got in and am going to be funded for five years, details to come in a letter being sent out this week. WOOOOO-HOOOOO!!!!!! The guy (the extremely famous and nice and awesome guy) out there I want to work with emailed me a couple weeks ago to let me know they'd met and decided, but also in the email told me to "keep it to myself" since he was "jumping the gun" in telling me. And that happened for about ten seconds, and then I told everyone I thought would give a shit in the course of the rest of the day. hahahaha.

I dont' know if I mentioned it, but Cornell's my first choice. Hopefully the letter will give me details about possibly visiting, etc. This is going to be the world's worst decision to make....the Californias keep being like "oh, we're so nice and good and it's SO good to live here in Northern California" and I'm going to be a basketcase deciding. You've all watched me try to order food at a restaurant, right? It's going to be hilaarrrrious.

Also, North Carolina is the only school left to hear from, and since they had, by FAR, the earliest due date (December 1st), I can assume easily that I have not been admitted, which is actually fine by me in all respects.

And, I inflicted a haircut upon myself last night. It's not so bad. hahaha.

Anyway, it's going to be a busy day. I think there are a lot of emails I need to write.

Just call me "Dr. Blackbelt"

So, had some good news a couple hours ago...UC Irvine, my second choice thus far, called to tell me how great I am and invite me to come visit. This means that I now get to fly out to California twice, unlessssssssss:

I'm supposed to go to UCI March 9-10th, since I'm going to Chicago the prior weekend. UC Davis is still up in the air, but I bet if I'm already going to be in California, I can arrange to have that visit happen a few days after UCI, maybe giving me time in between to go to Fresno and see COUSIN EVAN!!!!!! Wheeee!!! I haven't seen him in more than 10 years! I think I'll find a way to make that dream scenario happen....I would love, love LOVE to see him and my aunt and this is the closest I'll be for a long time (until i inevitably try to get a job at any one of those fantastic schools out there once I am qualified)....it's going to be really fucking hard not to be like "oooh, i wanna go heeeere" while I'm out there, especially with my current anti-winter blahs I'm coping with (don't you think it's been an especially shitty winter?). But I'll try to be a big girl about it....Everyone in the lab keeps telling me and Raedy not to decide based on location, but on merit and the kind of education you'll be getting from there. Not a bad idea, since I'd have the rest of my life to live in Cali....but then again, Irvine is definitely a hot spot for the research I wanna be doing....it's going to definitely take some soul-searching.

In other news, my results section of my thesis is due Tuesday and I am not finished running or coding people. That sucks, I am unsurprisingly stressing out about that. It's likely that i'll continue stressing out for the next, oh, three or so months, until this hellish last semester is finished. Jeeze, it's so weird to think how much will be resolved and taken care of in a matter of two months....I cannot WAIT for graduation. God, what a relief that'll be. Until then, though, I know everyone's super stressed out and my bitching doesn't help anyone forget their troubles....

Except it makes me feel better:)

So much shit to get done. this week especially is going to kick my ass. Take my quiz!!! It's so awesome!

An evening wasted

Please, please, if you have any decency at all, go take my new quiz. I spent, seriously, like an hour doing it, and I am really hoping to see it appear on all ya'lls blogs. So, get to it. I think I'll go make some more.

How High On Liz's Shit List Are You?

Have You Done An Autopsy on Your Last Relationship, By The Way?

Actual, non-made up quote from the Dr. Phil "how to fix all the problems in your life" advice daily calendar that JD so "thoughtfully" got me for Xmas this year:

"Let's say that I have an appointment to create positive change at the business of You, Inc., and in an effort to make this change I ask, "Who's in charge here?" If your response to that question is, "Beats me, I am not in charge," I would be wasting my time talking to you."

Oh spare me the fucking pop psychology, you QUACK

Yesterday was Sylvia Browne Day, as far as I am concerned....I keep noticing the most uncanny "coincidences" especially after watching her on tv....hmmmm. I borrowed a new stack of her books I didn't know about from a girl in the lab that Raedy and I both think is amusing, Bridget....she's totally into Sylvia AND she's intolerant of the rampant stupidity in there.....plus, she's funny when she's bitching.

Stace, I'm glad to hear that you finally got to see her on tv. What did you think? Hopefully, you were impressed enough to actually read some of her stuff. I recommend it for everyone, if only because I am the most non-religious of people and the stuff she talks about brings me a strange comfort. I don't think I buy into absolutely everything she says (and here she would say that I'll be surprised when I realize later that she's always been right, hahah) but enough of it makes sense to me in a world where religion is nothing but a means of social control to be misused and abused to the nth degree by madmen and retards that I've kind of found a renewed "faith" in "spirituality," even though I'll never ever ever think that "religion" is a good or spiritual thing. And not just because it's so easily abused, that's not what I meant.....I'm not going to start that rant now. Anyway, I like what she says because there's this theme that everyone finds their own truth in their own time, and no amount of bullying or rushing them to do so will ever convince someone else....I like the non-judgemental version of spirituality, and again not because I don't think actions should have consquences, but that actions shouldn't have far-reaching, eternally negative consequences that leave you damned to a fiery hell pit for the remainder of time. maybe this appeals to me because I HAVE fucked up so often in my life, and most of you CAN think of "sins" of mine that number too many to be easily counted....but I don't think that's it....there's a kind of truth to this that appeals to some skeptical side of me, and it just reassures me in a way that no other belief system has ever been able to. But again, everyone has their own truth, and all the stupid religions are the same damn thing anyway, so it all works out in the end.

Yeah, anyway, that's something I didn't mean to get into. Sylvia kicks ass! Wooooo----hoooooo!

My mystery professor from Mystery School X emailed me again yesterday to tell me that the official letters will probably go out this Friday. JEEEEEEZE, come ON, that means it's another six days until I get the good news....at least he didn't say "oh, we've changed our mind. Thanks for planning your next five years prematurely. Thanks anyway!"

JD and I have discussed the future in depth now, and we have decided that the most important thing we need to get once we're settled wherever we're settled is ......(drumroll) .......a kitten and a chinese pug puppy, if we can find one. I am IN LOVE with Ashleigh's doggie Lance. I don't know what the hell it is about him, I think it's that he's like a pig-cat-dog and ridiculously cute, and he looks like a footstool, and he's always sniffing at you, and looking so seriously retarded, and has a PIG TAIL!!!! Whatever it is, I am decidedly hooked on that type of dog, and we decided it woudl be the cutest thing EVER to get a baby one and a kitten and have them grow up together and be like practice children.....hahahaha, I made the last bit up, but you see how cute that would be....you'd all wanna come visit.

Ok, I can't fucking believe I am still at home and it is 2:30. I am entirely too lazy this week, I will be paying for it this weekend when I am locked in the lab finishing things up for 40 hours at a time. Sigh. Oh f-ing well.

I ran a crazy, self-proclaimed to be stoned, loud, hilarious black girl in my thesis last night. I didn't believe she was stoned until she said my "eyebrows looked really good" and then, once I told her what she was supposed to do, asked if instead she could tell ME the story. And then after the experiment, I was trying to explain what it was really about and she's all (looking at my sweatshirt) "You're in Hap KIDO?!?!" and then yaks at me for seriously, 40 minutes about how she came to club one time last semester and "wasn't impressed enough" with the (I swear to god) "physical appearance" of the "somewhat chubby boy" who "told her to come in and sit down" who was then used as a whipping boy by Pat for the rest of club. She's never been in the intro classes, I must not have been at club that day, but MAN, what a weirdo ....she wouldn't shut up.

And then I sat in the lab doing jackshit with Bridget and Emily until after 8:00, talking about Sylvia and then bitching about this extremely ugly stupid bitchy nosy girl named Andrea and then also Char. It was So amusing, and quite stress-relieving.

hahaha.

When Shosh turns up dead, it's going to be funny when the police do a Google search for "though the storms keep raging in my life, and sometimes it's hard to tell the night" and get my site as the top answer, and thusly arrest me and Chris Bliss when they see what we've written.

It's Sylvia Browne Wednesday on Montel!!!!!

I highly advise whoever has an hour to spare in the middle of their busy day to rush home, plant themselves in front of the screen, and watch in sheer awe as Sylvia works her stuff. God, she is so awesome. And badass. I wish I was a psychic too.

You'll notice I've changed a couple things over there on my links. Needed to be done.

I've nothing else of importance to say.

He Had It Coming; Or: The Oxygen-Thieving Waste-of-Space that has today blown past Seith and Jane on my Ultimate Shit List finally gets what's coming to his ass-face, and predictably takes it like a sniveling whiny bitch. An attempt at a screenplay in three acts

(I don't know how to write a screenplay properly, and since Shane has declared us to no longer be friends --that's what I'm supposed to take the passive-aggressive jab at the whole world by removing links to other blogs as, correct?--I'll just be stabbing in the dark. Get used to it, Hitler.)


Act I: Past
Sigh...


SHOSH and BELLE are in SHOSH's bedroom, asleep.

BELLE awakes to a strange sensation

BELLE: Hey, what the...?!?
BELLE: You're PEEING on me? What the fuck are you doing?
BELLE: Oh my GOD, you nasty, stupid fucker.

Belle leaves, Shosh wakes hours later to find a scathing note and a puddle of pee. To be more specific, he awakes IN this puddle, on top of Belle's coat.


ACT II: Present


BELLE is happy, successful, annoyed that she has to acknowlede SHOSH's existence at group functions, but nonetheless looking to the future and dealing well with the situation. remember? She got peed on in ACT I. By Shosh. Yeah, that's right. PEED ON, yet Shosh bugs her every goddamn day about when they'll get past all this and when they'll be friends again and when they'll talk civilly and how she can't avoid him forever if they're both in Rectangle P together....god, he is the scummiest thing alive.

(At Rectangle P conference. Belle is running for Dictator next year and is anxiously awaiting the announcement of mysterious opponent. No one has yet revealed opponent's identity to her. Did I mention that this Dictator position is something that Belle REALLY REALLY wants and cares about, will do a good job at, and has the support of her entire board and everyone involved in Rectangle P? Because she does. Basically, it's ludicrious for anyone to run against her because she's already got it in the bag. Follow?)

BELLE: So, when do I get to find out who my competition is?
SHOSH: Hey, that DEFINITELY reminds me that I have an announcement to make!
BELLE: (aside) Oh fucking great
SHOSH: (to whole room) Well, guys, you'll be please to note that ironical as it may seem to you and me and I, our love, like the large bulldover, can prevail. Not even a herd of Iranian goats can bother me now. I am beautiful, no matter what they say, and words won't bring me down. I may be an insincere faux-christian who believes in torturing puppies and small children, but that's no reason we can't all pray for my family, who suffered aggregiously and melodramaculously at the hands of the evil demon that did arise from hell to light afire the meat market that sustains my family's well;being. Now, instead of my parents just handing me the money I need to go to school, which I consider to be me "working my way through college," which is just plain wrong, they actually have to get LOANS so they can hand me the money I need to go to school. So, I feel justified in telling Belle that she's spoiled because her aunt gives her a box of twinkies every semester and i have to work and pay my own way through school. because, obviously, Belle has things handed to her all the time, and those loans aren't really in HER name, and her family clearly has more money than they know what to do with, as do most families with kids in college, except for mine. Wow, I am such a martyr. Wow, I am DEFINITELY the most morally righteous person in here. Duuude, I now need to announce that I am DEFINITELY going to run for office of Dictator next year, basically because I am a STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE AND I WANT TO MAKE BELLE'S LIFE A LIVING FUCKING HELLHOLE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE SINCE SHE IS ALSO RUNNING FOR DICTATOR AND HAS ACTUALLY CONFIDED IN ME ALL HER CAMPAIGNING STRATEGIES, AND I THINK THIS IS THE SINGLE COURSE OF ACTION THAT CAN PROPEL ME BEYOND PEOPLE NAMED SEITH IN THE ALL-TIME MOST PATHETIC ATTEMPT TO DO SOMETHING ASSHOLEY OR MANIPULATIVE TO ANOTHER PERSON AND THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY I CAN JUST TAKE THE FACT THAT SHE THINKS I AM SLIME AND WALK AWAY, SOME INKLING OF PRIDE INTACT, NO, I HAVE TO MAKE SURE I COME OFF LOOKING LIKE THE BIGGEST POSSIBLE LOSER BUT THAT I ALSO HURT AND OFFEND AND ABUSE BELLE TO THE EXTENT OF MY VAST ABILITIES TO DO SO WITH NO SLOWING OR STOPPING AT ANY TIME BECAUSE THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY TO CONVINCE THAT LIBERAL HIPPIE THAT GWB IS, IN FACT, A ROLEMODEL AND EVANGELICAL FREE IS, IN FACT, THE ONLY TRUE RELIGION.

Oh my god, I want to fucking kill him FOR her. In fact, that brings me to ACT III:


ACT III: Near, near, couple hours from now future.

JIZ, DJ, BLISS, RACY, LADY, PONY, JUSTIN, DASH, BILE, and entire Hapkido Club arrive at same frat house from ACT I. Mood is tense, as what we'll call "the Bod Squad" is there to beat Shosh into bloody pulp.

JIZ: OPEN UP IN THERE!! WE KNOW THAT FUCKER'S HIDING IN YOUR LAME ASS FRAT HOUSE!!!
LADY: YEAH! Open the fucking door, fuckers!
BLISS: Bliss SMASH!
PONY: I'ma rippim limb from limb...snaaarl....where's he at?
GUYS IN FRAT HOUSE: Please go away, we're frightened.
HAPKIDO CLUB: We're going to blow your house down
GUYS IN FRAT: Please, don't do that!
HC: Oh, too late, you suck.

(everyone huffs and puffs and blows with all their might, and the lamest frat in the world blows over like a piece of cardboard...)

ALL: Hurrah! We've done it!
SHOSH: (scurrying out from beneath an empty keg) Hey, uh, guys, what are you doing here?
ALL: We're here to kill your ass dead
SHOSH: Oh, that DEFINITELY sucks
ALL: GET HIM

(Much violence ensues. SHOSH is allowed to choose between cutting his reproductive organs off himself --with a plastic spoon--- and writing an apology on them to send to Belle, or whatever fate ALL have in store for him. He foolishly chooses option Number Two. Thusly, the world's biggest clusterfuck of violence begins. Bones are broken, skin is torn off and then stapled back on, eyeballs are popped out and thrown around, every imaginable martial arts technique is practiced to perfection, reproductive organs are sawed off with spoon and mailed to Belle anyway, much violence continues. Each finger and toe is yanked on until it comes off, ears are made into convenient souvenirs, hair is plucked from every body part one at a time. Shosh writhes and bitches like a stupid little baby entire time, swears upon meat market's ashes that he'll retract his pledge to run for Dictator, apologize for everything to Belle, and leave her alone forEVER. Violence continues for a few more hours anyway, and then Once he also promises never to mistreat another animal, violence ceases. then, to ensure that he follows through on promises, Belle suddenly appears and punches his idiot face in. shosh dies an uneventful death, no one cares. World restores itself to sensical balance. all is well with Belle, with her friends, with the universe as a whole. everyone agrees shosh was a sociopath. )



*In other news, The Osbournes episode tonight implied heavily that Jack had fucked a blonde girl. Oh god I thought I was about to puke. And THEN he goes on to describe himself as a "manwhore" (here's some news: any guy who describes HIMSELF as a man-whore is not nearly as pimp as he thinks) and they show a montage of him with all these cute, clearly mentally handicapped girls. FUCK. THAT'S SO FUCKING GROSS.
Jack fucking Osbourne getting laid. Ick. Ewww eww eww


Ok, I'm hungry and have no other news. Sorry for the liberties I took with reality in the above story, especially with the cursing. And Belle, wherever you are, I hope it's ok that I posted this and I hope you understand that I LITERALLY WILL RIP HIS HEAD OFF if you indicated to me that I would be allowed to....heh. Anyway, it was this or another more detailed rant about the adventures of Seith, Shosh, and Jane. Ha.

yeah, keep 'em comin' Gleeglop

I Bet He Fucks Like A Champ

So, it's been a couple days. Lots to talk about. Let's get right to it.

1.) If anyone hasn't yet, check out the "Dress your gay dog" game that Raedy linked to on her blog. Well worth the 20-some odd minutes I wasted trying to beat level five.

2.) I've been sick, unsurprisingly, I hear you've all been sick, but I think I'll be over it when I wake up tomorrow. Good thing, too, since tomorrow is the worst of all days (because I actually have to go to classes and the lab, hahahaha, I know I'm not getting any sympathy)

3.) Lots of hapkido events since my last post, we had a fantastic club social that deteriorated into a loud Candyland/Twister competition, thanks to my fabtabulous social coordinating skills. I've more or less decided that there's no fucking chance in hell that I'll be ready for my temp test this month, so I'll be aiming for late April instead. Lotta stress off my shoulders. Also recently was the (heh) Hapkido demo at Spirit of Sport this Friday night. Ha. It was badass, but it's kinda hard to compete with this. Sigh.

4.) Also topping the list of Coolest Things Happening This Weekend was me 'n JD's four year anniversary, which was yesterday. We did absolutely nothing, and it was fantastic. I feel like I've been married for decades, but in a good, non-bored kind of way. Follow?

5.) I hear Stacey and Ash got their Valentine's Day (VD for those of us who are so inclined) presents in the mail. Awesome. Hope you guys like it as much as I like these puppies.

6.) I heard from a surprising TWO schools this past Friday, one being UC Davis and the other, mysteriously, especially after their total bullshit bluffing war over me and Raedy, being U of Chicago. Hmmmm. And by "heard from" I mean "was called and told I'd been admitted."

Thusly, I get to fly out to California at no expense to myself over the first part of my spring break. Here's what I'm hoping happens: I hear from UC Irvine sometime soon. They want me to come visit. I fly to Cali, fly back to Chicago to stay with gram and attend one or both of the Godspeed You! Black Emperor shows during the middle of the week, get back on plane and fly back out to Cali for end of week visit to UCI, fly back to Indy and am home in time for classes.

Anyway, congrats to me and Raedy both for getting into Chicago after they flat out lied to us about not taking us both. My favorite thing so far about getting into schools is the way they call and, in no uncertain terms, tell you the exact monetary amount they're willing to throw at you as a stipend to get you to come to their school. Hefty fucking piles of cash. Kind of like you'll see if you go here. hahahaha, hope you're all enjoying my newfound knowledge of HTML. I'm still working out the kinks.

7.) I'm still holding my breath for the Official news from Mystery School I've Already Told Most of You About, but again, I'll just say that YOU WILL HEAR IT when I get the news, unless they've heard somehow of my big mouth and have decided to take it away.

8.) If you've ever wondered what it sounds like when Buffy your precious slayer says naughty words (and I certainly was), your questions can be answered once and for all.

9.) JD and I had a fantastic, productive, soothing conversation about money and the future and expenses and the cost of finding/moving into an apartment someplace new, him finding a job, etc etc. I feel a thousand times better than I have since I started obsessively freaking out about it. Ha. Not surprising.

10.) I keep calling the bank and realizing that I have more money than I need , but that I still by no means have any spending money. However, I am going to reward myself for getting into grad school (a bit prematurely, perhaps, but who cares) by buying that stupid 12.1" Powerbook with superdrive....

Because I'll need it, can justify it, Stacey said she'd "probably maybe" buy my ibook, and I can actually afford it at this time. Of course, once Hanako forces me and Raedy to the SRCD Conference in April, I'll be more than broke. But who the fuck cares? I have this to make me feel so much better. Stace, I think that one's for you, and me, and every other girl I've ever met. See above titling of post. See link. See title. See link. Hahaha.

11.) I applied for a mastercard today. I decided it's about time to be a grownup and get some credit, if I ever want to be able to do things like: anything at all.

12.) Also, I have discovered my very favorite ice cream flavor of all time: Ben & Jerry's Limited Batch Oatmeal Cookie Chunk Ice Cream. Good lord, that stuff is magnificent. Magnanimous. Fantastical.

Finally, the reaction I wanted

So, not been up to much, Thanks, first of all, to Mel and Chris, who have sweetly con-grab-u-lated (anyone else remember the specific episode of Ren and Stimpy I'm thinking of here?) me and Raedy on her official and my unofficial badassitude. Don't worry, the whole post for the official day will consist of exclamation points and excited, ranting talk of the future. teehee. Suffice it to say that, whilst I cannot tell you all specifically on here exactly which or why I'm so happy, I could give two fucking shits less if none of my other schools ever call. Oh, and as soon as I hear the official good news, I'm telling KSU to politely "go fly a kite," as my mom puts it.

Teeheeheehehehehehe.

Uh, haven't been up to much, yesterday especially, I woke up feeling gross Tuesday and thusly kept myself home yesterday, slept until 1:30 and woke up feeling much better, am presently coughing up blood and other gross stuff, so am a little annoyed. I hate hate HATE these slight, nagging, stupid shit cold-type illnesses where my throat is miserable. Anyhoo, should be over it soon.

I just realized I had a dream that Chris and I were planning to go swimming tonight, after the hapkido club social. What a strange dream.

Yeah, tonight is chinese food/movie night for club, after club, which is awesome except I think I have to front the fucking money for it, which sucks. Anyway, it's going to be a long time before I'm back here at home today. Suck.

I have GOT to stop waking up to TLC's Wedding Story on tv. I HATE all these people, they're always ugly or deformed in some intrinsic way, and their happiness irritates me, especially first thing in the morning. Sheesh. And they're always so grossly cheesy.

Ok, anyway, I need to go eat, but first, here's something from the Sylvia Browne book I'm currently reading that she didn't write that I wanted to share. Also, I HIGHLY recommend everyone read her stuff. If Raedy and I are "geniuses," and we buy into it, shouldn't you buy into it too? HA hahahahahahaha.

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstacy fill you to the tps of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul, if you can be faithless and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!'

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yoursel and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. "

----- Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder

The shit inevitably hits the fan, or "what goes around comes back around to bite you in the ass unless you smite it with every fiber of your being." An ode to striving to be second best.

I'm waiting for something to happen. I liked JD's story very much, perhaps too much, I haven't laughed that hard in about a month. I think Stacey thought it was funny also, but I'll just speak for myself. Whoops, my joking suggestion for a play on names was taken to the fullest extent of its vindictive potential. Hahahaha. I think a little bit of visciousness is more than healthy. Plus, warranted. And, justified in every way. With time and distance I see more clearly things that I couldn't before, about myself and about others, and I'm thankful for this insight.

So, guys, I had the World's Greatest News Ever sitting in my inbox for me when I woke up this morning, and although I'm sworn to secrecy by the secret order of the ninjas who sent it, I shall hopefully be announcing the news in a week or so. Keep them fingers a crossin'.

Today was long, and today also was a fantastic day all around...nasty rainy weather but it was 60 degrees, and people in my thesis this afternoon were all nice and friendly...can't complain. Rather, I just won't complain. I can always find something to complain about.

I did some figures last night and decided that I'll probably be buying myself a nice shiny powerbook once I get my refund check in March, have allotted for visiting schools, and am sure I can pay bills at least through May. Then, this summer I can work for Dr. Smith and hopefully she'll be cool with that. And get my black belt. And leave for school. Only a few more months, guys. Shouldn't we all be saying the things we think we need to?

So, In other news, it looks like Amy has "snubbed" me from her list of invitees to her "personal shower" (that sounds like a TLC show). all I can say regarding this is HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Finally, the door slams, the bridge burns, the "well, she doesn't really want JD at her wedding, and can you blame her?" talk comes to fruition....and I have no nice things to say, mostly because it's funny, not because I feel especially "scorned," but nevertheless, I am shutting my mouth up ....now.

Raedy invented a fun new game to play with all our sitemeters. Try to make yourself the number one hit on google for random phrases. Ones to try:

"penelope + john stamos + retarded + siamese+ superbowl"

"hot gay porn action structure jeans"

"not invited to amy's wedding"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

yes, lets' play this game in stacey's comments section

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, AH hAHAHAH HA AHA HA AH AHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAH AHA
AHAHA
AHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAH
LOL, OH MY GOD, GO READ JD'S BLOG
HAHAHAHAHA...

We just had a dart contest. I totally lost.

Unless you say that you gave your heart away


Raedy has a hilarious habit of making links to the strangest things. Make sure you click on every link when you read her stuff, no matter how innocuous it may at the time seem. For instance, go click on yesterday's post, on the link that says "Liz." You'll be so glad you did.

First, CONGRATULATIONS to Raedy!!!! Unbelievably, she's already heard from three (in reality, four, but not officially) of her seven schools, all good news, all wanting her to come visit....that's AMAZING. Especially since it is just today February and we were told not to think about hearing anything until the end of this month. Damn, that is just too awesome.

I am admittedly freaked out by it, but reason tells me that IT IS ONLY FEBRUARY FIRST. I'll start meltdown procedures when it gets to be four weeks from now and I haven't heard anything, have gone to visit KSU and hate it, and want to die.

Anyway, Raedy's blog is impressively interesting and her boyf Mike (Mikety?) has a funny website too. Check it out.

OK, I am one big knot of sore muscle. In club Thursday we did falling and rollouts basically the whole two hours. It was fantastic!! I LOVE dive rolls over things, it's so much fun, and Pat kept rearranging them so they were different heights and lengths and two right after one another and then we had to do weird combos, like a dive roll, back roll, turn, front fall, or something....unsurprisingly, I am still in pain from not having stretched that out enough. Anyway, the good news is that club is awesome, class is awesome, and there's this definite camraderie in our class and among the club regulars that I REALLY like...there's suddenly a really supportive attitude. Good thing, since I feel retarded in there so far more often than not. It doesn't help that JD has torn the shit out of his entire right arm....it's hard to practice things on him right now. But, things in that area are improving, thank goodness.


So, Kyle, JD said he'd be writing you a story sometime soon. Good suggestion.

JD and I tried to go to Olive Garden last night because I was intensely craving spinach tortelloni with alfredo sauce (MMMMMM) but of course it was Friday night and we ended up (as always, it seems) going to La Charreada. (MMMM). We had the worst server in the world. Which is odd. Normally we always have the same guy, and I love him. I always get "vegetarian G" and he always writes down "VJ" on his notepad, shows it to me, and I have to correct him. He's awesome.

Then went to Borders so I could read the new Sylvia book in its entirety while JD nerded around in the martial arts section. Good book, all about contacting your spirit guide. I tried one of the relaxation things last night as I was falling asleep, hoping to meet my guide, but when I turned to look into the shadows of the palm trees to see them, I instead saw that scary-ass wolf creature from the Neverending Story, and then when I turned back around Meryl Streep was chasing me. Sigh. I DID wake up this morning from a dream where this girl I know was after JD, but the most important part of the dream was that her name kept being emphasized OVER and OVER....but I don't even like her name. "Dana." Bleeck. Surely that can't be it?

It's official. I have more bath products than anyone else on the planet. And at this point, more fantastic underwear (have I mentioned that they have fixed everything I ever hated about their undies by making them "low-rise" and I've been buying bras from there recently and THEY ARE THE MOST COMFORTABLE THINGS IN THE WORLD?) too. But, it look slike money isn't just tight from now on, it's nonexistant, so you can bet I won't be buying any more pants to add to my collection. Ha. Stace, you have to understand that the pants are ALL DIFFERENT.

I was having a fun time the other evening talking about what sort of guilt-tripping, mind-fucking, manipulating bastard time it would be if the three people topping my Shit List were all forced to be in a room together for any amount of time. I am still working out the details, but I might just write a story once I've figured out a likely scenario. For now, just imagine a lot of fake tears, fake suicide threats, attempted rape, nasally whiny voices, pointing fingers, poetry writing, lamenting about being hurt and abandoned, groveling, peeing on one another, protruded lower lips, acoustic guitar songs, drinking themselves to comas, telling others they're "manipulative and self-serving," telling others they're "not doing what they should," telling others they're "the best thing that ever happened to them and they didn't realize what they'd lost until it was gone" insincerely, more sniveling fake tears, more attempts to tug the pitying heart strings of whatever female counterpart these match up with, declarations of eternal hatred, refusals to take responsibility, refusals to live and exist in reality, lots of blameshifting, lots of self-loathing, lots of pompous lying about actual state of mind, selfish attempt to deny the "badly needed" closure to one particular girl, drunken crying, boo-hooing about the family meat market burning down, boo-hooing about love lost and then ADAMANT denials of any such boo-hooing, boo-hooing about girl's inability to defend them to the whole world, boo-hooing about imagined conspiracy to taunt boy, boo-hooing about family, about loss, about money, even more fake tears (this time in the hopes that they work manipulatively), several self-serving and succint emails with obsessively-thought-out wording and connotations to each word, appeals to reason, appeals to emotion, refusal to let anything go when they feel their name must be cleared, childlike selfishness and misunderstanding of certain basic human rights, beating up puppies, throwing firecrackers at same puppies, laughing about throwing firecrackers at/beating up puppies, looking like Jim Breuer, looking like David Cross, looking like you want to look like someone who can only discern his REAL friends by intentionally uglifying himself and falling tragically short of this goal, sniveling, whining, high-pitched girling, saying "definitely" forty times in a sentence, saying "go be with those who can't or won't see you for what you really are," saying "talking shit about a pretty sunset" in reference to the world's absolute most hideous, non-pretty ending to any relationship in all of the world, as though this email title is somehow appropriate and justified....which leads to more refusals to live in reality, more affirmations of how great he is and how wise and benevolent and justified in feeling hurt but not really, more tragic misunderstandings of his pain, of his overcoming, of his as-recent-as-two-months-ago pledge to refuse to give me the closure that I so clearly need, more bullshit posturing, more faux-ass nonsense, more fakey fake fake "it's better for me if we never see or speak to each other again" and in the same breath "YOU'RE the selfish one," more denials of what was actually meant, more attacks on the foundations of female counterparts beliefs, more persistent "encouragement" to convert to Evangelical Free (?!?!), more ass-covering, more back-tracking, more complete and total horseshit than anyone has ever seen before.

Look forward to it.