The Part of The Day That I Cannot Sleep Away

Wowie zowie. Licking your greasy spoon. That I carry to mix this cake batter. Sleeping on the asphalt. Leper, a leper. Why do I feel like I'm falling? Faaaaaallling. Take me Home. Go drown in Memphis or something.

I'm in comp cd making overload. MULTIPLE songs are stuck in my head. Is that even possible? I just wanted to tell you guys that there are MANY new photos up on the fotopage, including some really pretty shots of our $1400 per month landscaping. At least there are ducks. they quack a lot and come floating right over cuz I think people feed them when they shouldn't. They're about fiteen thousadn times cooler than our downstairs neighbors, which are on the other side of us. Sigh. They're being loud right now. And the other day, I was naked, as usual, and I caught Benzy the Fat Fucker peeping in my dining room (that's my office) window. Ok so I wasn't naked but I made a big harrumphing show of glaring at him and dramatically closing the vertical blinds as fast as possible. Next time I'm calling the cops.

benzy is the fatty who seems to just be friends with the pot heads right below us, he lives with the pre-teen rich boy across from them. he drives a red benz (duh, right?) and gets out of his car saying things like "i'm just smokin' endo, sippin' on gin and JUICE" when he's really got powerade and is so not cool. I hate him more than all the others. Some cuz he's fat, some cuz I smiled at him once and he looked away. As IF.

Those of you with whom Xmas present truces have been called will probably be getting a comp cd anyway, but it doesn't cost much so don't sweat it. Raedy, I am still trying to master our challenging agreement to spend less than a dollar. Hmmm. I wonder if I have time to buy you one piece of Sanrio gum before I fly out Wednesday. Probably not. I'll buy you a $1 Target gift card. Hahahahaha.

Yay for Kwaanza Dinner, yay for Girly Movie Night. Yay for Chris Daniels and Stacey coming to Evansville, yay for my mom.

I was telling Stacey about my dream where Kyle made fun of my armpits, and what I left off of here but am including now because she said it made the dream way more hilarious, is the fact that when I ran into them I was topless and wearing khaki cutoffs. But that was the required beach attire, it was nothing scandalous.

Someone wanna start interpreting these fuckers? I'll pay one piece of Sanrio gum per satisfactory answer. Raedy congrats on being done with Lame Quarter Uno.

I might be too busy tomorrow to post, waaah. So in case my planes both crash and I don't survive either of them, lovels to you all. You'll still get your comp cds though, I think JD will bring those.

Shane, hope you didn't get hurt today. And hope that works out ok.

YEAH EVILLE HERE I COME!!!!!! WHEEEEEEE-HAAAAAA

From The Depths Of My Gloom

So I can't sleep again. Big fat shocker there. I slept for a few hours, had a weird dream, woke up and couldn't get comfortable so I came out in the living room to bore myself to sleep, as usual. I think I'll just stay up until JD gets up in like 45 minutes and then sleep after he leaves for work.

In this dream I was going to read something and sit on the beach all day, and I ran into Keith and Kyle and Kyle was making fun of me for having hairy armpits, and I had to climb up a ladder but I didn't want to because I knew they'd make fun of me more. And then I had to sneak into this room to get my Cosmo out of a plastic bag and I found an extra magazine in it. woohoo. I'm starting to think dreams might not be all that special.

My big plans for today include making an unnecessarili detailed list of things I need to bring home with me, packing and probably repacking suitcases, frantically trying to figure out what to get my sister for Xmas, and burning endless cds. For those of you with whom I haven't yet discussed it, I am following Raedy's lead and calling a Christmas Present Truce with as many people as possible, so unless we have specifically discussed that I am getting you something please, please don't get me anything.

The GRE was fucking early-ass o'clock Saturday, I so totally kicked it's ass it's almost not funny. I'm sure Raedy and I both forced it to eat itself in shame. And Raedy, I felt that same smug "ha, losers, I'm ALREADY in grad school" thing, and there was one really stupid girl in particular who was "on standby" for the test, not that there was any danger of her not being allowed to take it, and she needed help filling out every single space on her answer sheet. Also, she wore loud ass flip flops and tromped up and down the stairs every 10 minutes. Also, when I got there in the morning it was gorgeous t-shirt weather but the girl standing outside directing people to the rooms was wearing sweat pants, a fleecey shirt, gloves, a scarf, a sock hat, and she was shivering and clutching her Coffee Bean grande mocha to her chest. People here are fucking retarded sometimes. The test proctor also pointed out how "nice" she was to allow us to wait for the test to start inside the room, rather than outside, which she only did because it was "so cold." The tank-top-with-gloves-and-a-scarf look is annoyingly big out here, I think just because it happens to be December.

Not that you guys cared about the GRE, but hey, I'm fucking thrilled it's done with.
Any requests for anything I can bring you that you just can't get in Indiana? JD and I took some pictures of the area the other day, I'll put those on my foto thingy sometime tomorrow if I remember. You have to keep in mind that it's winter here, so nothing is quite as ridiculously pretty as usual

Hahahahahah. Ah ah ahahahah.

What else? Sunday was the 9th anniversary of a Very Dark Day in the Davis Family History, and for some reason this year it really bothered me more than usual. Maybe because I actually thought about it, a little too much, and whatever it's called I tend to be one of those people who can actually think themselves into a situation so hard that I get just as freaked out as if I were actually there...which is reason #29484852048577348-49584 I'll never intentionally skydive. But I have a real nasty way of getting too caught up in my thoughts, and I think i'm more stressed out than usual this year, and it's getting hard for me to see the big picture of things these days.

But I still love you guys! and I can't wait to see you. Kyle, I want to go see LOTR sometime this week, JD and I arent' going to go Tuesday night. Jenny, you need to tell me one way or another if I'm coming to Bloomington this weekend. Oh my god that's so soon. Holy shit. It better not be cold there. Yeah I think that's it.

People With Hugely Fat Chins
Circle I Limbo

Insincerity, People my age that call me "kid"
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

The Cast Of Rich Girls
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

People who make jokes about Stacey going to Fake School
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Unnecessarili cutesi name spelling
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Nouveau Riche
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Loud chewing noises
Circle VII Burning Sands

Lamey McBadfriend
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Benzy, My Fat Fuck Neighbor
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

And You Wanna Find Peace And You Find Me

Instead of going to bed at a decent hour so I can get up at a different decent hour and plant my atrophy-ing ass in the same uncomfortable spot on the couch for another 15 hours of half-assed studying-while-rich-girls-is-on-in-the-background, I have opted to submit to my newfound (new this last few months, I mean) insomnia. Usually it's bad, usually I have to be so tired that I'm seeing flashing lights in my peripheral vision before I can go to bed, but now it's even worse. You want to know why?

Ok, so when you're as busy lazy as I am and you don't go to the Girl Doctor to renew your birth control prescription and you run out of pills, your body starts going back to normal. In my case, this means I can actually feel menstrual cramps, which blows, but more importantly, I cannot stop thinking about sex. Not for a minute, and it's getting progressively worse. I'm having explicit dreams when I do sleep, and sitting around trying to study the world's most boring textbook only encourages my mind to wander. It's un-fricking-believable how creative my mind is.

Oh, but this is bad because JD has to go to sleep at like 6pm because he has to get up so early, and common decency tells me that I should just wait to get in bed until I'm sure I'm gonna sleep right away, lest I inadverdently (hahahahaha) wake him. So because I have no outlet for these overpowering daydreams, I have been trying to channel the pent-up-ness (I feel, no doubt, how every seventeen year old boy feels all the time) into constructive outlets, which might include studying if I could fucking concentrate, which I can't, so that's out. Does anyone want to have phone sex with me? I am so serious. Stacey? Ashleigh? I'll be here all week (cymbol crash)

So instead of doing anything at all with my mind, I have been studiously going through a bunch of my cds and iTunes and making Top Five lists of a bunch of stuff. I felt like I should post it here so I could say I'd done something productive with my time. also, I like for you to have to read boring shit on my blog.

Liz's Top Five Songs, Arranged By Artist

Jeff Buckley
1. Forget Her
2. Morning Theft
3. I Woke Up In A Strange Place
4. Mojo Pin
5. Hallelujah

Radiohead
1. Talk Show Host
2. Street Spirit (check out the Darkness cover of this one, heh heh)
3. Like Spinning Plates
4. Lucky
5. How Can You Be Sure?

Mogwai
1. Take Me Somewhere Nice
2. Summer
3. My Father My King
4. 2 Rights Make 1 Wrong
5. You Don't KNow Jesus

The Black Heart Procession
1. A Light So Dim
2. A Heart Like Mine
3. I Know Your Ways
4. It's A Crime I Never Told You Bout The Diamonds In Your Eyes
5. We Always Knew

Jimmy Eat World
1. For Me This Is Heaven
2. A Sunday
3. Sweetness
4. Lucky Denver Mint
5. Ten

Ani DiFranco
1. Gravel
2. Superhero
3. Jukebox
4. Untouchable Face
5. Loom

Tool
1. Sober
2. Forty-Six and 2
3. Stinkfist
4. Pushit
5. AEnima

Sunny Day Real Estate
1. Pillars
2. 8
3. Iscaribaid
4. Guitar and Video Games
5. J'Nuh

Bjork
1. Verandi
2. It's Not Up To You
3. Unison
4. Bachelorette
5. Joga

Lovage
1. Anger Management
2. Lifeboat
3. To Catch A Thief
4. Archie and Veronica
5. Pit Stop (Take Me Home)

Frames
1. Santa Maria
2. Friends and Foe
3. What Happens When The Heart Just Stops
4. Look Back Now
5. Headlong

Oh my god. that did nothing to distract me. I think I'm going to go swim a few miles in the ocean, see if that douses this absurd restless feeling. I feel like I have been unknowingly injected with adrenaline and am attributing this hyper-aroused state to my current emotional state (Quick, Raedy, whose ass-backwards theory of emotion attribution is this?) which is happy which makes me feel like I am in the first stages of falling in love with somebody again. This is so bizarre. Thankfully, I can count on Evansville to kill it. Which reminds me that JD is coming home for a week or so, on Xmas. Surprise!

This Lovely Neck Will Be Chopped As Soon As I Say So

Happy Belated Birthday to Myself! Wheeeee!
It's so unmomentous being 22. How did you guys all stand it? There's nothing to look forward to now except for menopause. Oh and my sexual peak. I guess that's not for awhile though, so until then I'll just keep studying for the lamest lame test in the world and keep misdiagnosing myself with diseases like "hypertension" and "general anxiety disorder" and "syphillis"

hahah.

The Psych GRE is Saturday, and WHOA HORSE I'm not progressing in my studying very well. I took a diagnostic test a couple days ago and got FORTY PERCENT correct, which sounded some alarm bells in my head that maybe I didn't retain a goddamn thing from college that didn't pertain directly to development, or language, or research, or cognition, or other things I thought were interesting. Leaving me with a gaping hole of non-understanding when it comes to 90% of psychoogy, all boring shit like perception, sensation, Freud, motivation, learning, neuropsych, personality, social psych, psychopathology, and treatment. fucking a.

Oh well.

Thanks to everyone who called/otherwise remembered it was my birthday yesterday. Don't worry if your presents haven't arrived just yet, I'll check the mail later today and I'm sure I'll get it then. Hahahahahahah

Yesterday JD's mom called me and she was in the middle of a story about a pooping baby and her cell phone cut out. So I sat and stared at the phone waiting for her to call back for like ten minutes, but she didn't. Then Jenny called. So I never got around to talking to her, and maybe letting her know I didn't hang up on her because of her offensive poop story.

Jenny said we're going to see Amahl and the Night Visitors, a really obscure Davis Family Christmas Tradition that no one else has ever heard of. Damn that's a good play. Oh and mom said I could take her car on Saturday to come up to Bton, Sis.

what else. Nothing important, I'm sure. Passions sucks balls. nothing's worse than watching a fledgling soap opera from it's beginning, since you started college at UE, and watching it suck continually worse every day. Or maybe it's always sucked this bad. I've evolved to Sex and the City now anyway. Keep checking Amazon for present ideas, you non-buying-me-presents guys. hahahahahaha

lovels!

feel better and get less stressed, ya'll

Everything Looks Perfect From Far Away

I've had some weird dreams in the last few days, we'll attribute this to my newly rediscovered Sleeping All The Time REM rebound thanks to two months of insomnia which made me just a little crazy. I had a dream this morning, influenced heavily I'm sure by the episode of Punk'd that was playing while I was thinking about waking up, in which I was in charge of letting people into a movie premiere and I was dressed like a bag lady and I knew it was for Gaticka or whatever that movie is and people kept running by me flashing their tickets at me and I thought I was going to get in trouble.

Then yesterday I had a very weird dream in which I was being forced to get married, I don't think to JD, and I was wearing a strapless bright blue prom dress and a large German woman was styling my hair but she was doing a really bad job of it and I was panicking. At least my mom would approve of the color. So then I ran away and was working at a dock with Stacey and our job was to sit on the docks, wait for huge waves to come, grab a fish out of the wave, put some crushed ice into a brown paper bag, cut the fish's head off, put the fish body in the bag, and put more ice over it. And we had no tools to do this so it was tricksy. And then I caught a crab instead of a fish on accident and if that's symbolic of something I think we'll all have a good chuckle
And then a huge tidal wave came and washed Stacey out to sea and I was sure she'd drown. Hmmm.

Shane, the west coast is a very strange place. at least orange county is. But hell yes you should move out here. So should everyone else. The cross-country drive alone is worth it. Come join the never-ending parade of delusion of people who are going to Make It.

Janel, congrats. There seems to be a correlation between a few things there. I'll do a study. Let you guys know.

Ashleigh's elected to join me and Raedy's Breakdown Club, where we have emotional and physical breakdowns when we're stressed out, all the time.

I can't remember anything else I wanted to put on here. Blaeckhasf, neeer

Trying to Find a Balance

Hmmm. Turned in my paper today, got an email commending me for kicking the group project's ass and receiving an A+ on it, a big fat thanks for nothing, you guys are welcome so fucking much goes out to my group of non-helpful team members, so I'm sitting pretty 7.5ish now that all my technical obligations are fulfilled. Haven't even gotten dressed yet. Tried to call Stace but I guess she was screening her calls and hates me.

For future reference, I will have a nice wishlist on Amazon under "teresita marzipan" once it gets posted, you may thusly consult that when/if you find yourself at a loss for what to get me. Some things are not serious requests, like the TiVo system.

I am shaking from ingesting too much caffeine, it's really funny. this happens all the time, and probably contributes to my sleep problems.

Since I am kind of bored (but I started my holiday shopping, please start telling me what you want), here is the free personality profile I got from eharmony (you know, the dating site with commercials featuring a stodgy looking elderly man talking about morality)
and what it says about my personality:

* Because of your thoughtful nature, you need others to express sincere interest in you or the relationship. This offers the secure feeling that you seek.
* During times of stress or tension, you may withdraw inside yourself and appear as somewhat cool and aloof. You need to be alone when thinking through projects, problems or solutions.
* You usually assume a cautious and reserved demeanor when meeting new people. Your relationships must grow naturally and in sincere ways. You will not confide in others readily because of your need for security.
* You may be a matter-of-fact person who may be critical of the shortcomings of others who display a more emotional or outgoing side.
* Others may see you as disciplined and self-controlled. You have seen the problems of being overly optimistic when planning to depend on others following through.
* Others showing genuine sincerity and acceptance impress you. You do not like a shallow expression of feelings or thoughtlessness of others. You will get along with most people you meet because you don't cause hostility.
* Some people may inaccurately perceive you as not liking people. You may be misread by others, because you approach social situations with logic and objectivity, judging others by their competence--you may sometimes be misread by others.
* Because of your need to be quiet rather than rambling, you are somewhat introspective about events and activities. You may not communicate readily and rapidly with others, but this does not mean you don't support others.
* You may want to base relationships on a nonemotional respect for each other's abilities, and base your level of trust on directness and straightforwardness.
* You tend to listen rather than talk. You may place a premium on display of emotions. As a result, "reading" you at times may be difficult.
* You attempt to influence others not by showing great emotion, but by appealing to the logical nature of people. Those who are more emotional and excitable may sometimes ignore your approach.
* You are usually astute in social situations because you take little at face value, will listen carefully and accurately, and will watch others carefully.
* You may be somewhat reticent and retiring when with others, especially in a large group. As others grow louder, you may become quieter. You value control of emotions, and are more reflective than rowdy.

You respect people who do the following:
* If you agree, follow through with your end of the agreement.
* Give pros and cons of ideas.
* Use a logical and unemotional approach.
* Use a tone of voice that shows sincerity.
* Show patience, especially when drawing out information.
* Provide time to analyze the data before making a decision.
* Have facts and ideas in a logical order.
* If you disagree, organize your thoughts before confronting your partner.
* Respect quiet demeanor. Use a thoughtful approach.

* You tend to set and maintain very high standards for yourself.
* You are good at making certain that even small details are taken care of.
* You tend to be the "Anchor of Reality" in highly emotional situations.
* You don't tend to get distracted by superficial issues.
* You tend to have very high values.
* You are skilled at finding practical solutions to complicated situations.
* You generally take pride in being a strong community member.
* You are good at "troubleshooting" potential problems in a relationship.

You may want:
* Acceptance in a variety of groups.
* Equal relations with others.
* Others to work and play as hard as you do.
* Support of your ideas and dreams.
* Partners who practice listening and participation.
* Social recognition of your accomplishments.
* More time in the day for both work and play.
* Many activities, so there is never a dull moment.
* A support system to help you get things done.
* Popularity.
* A variety of activities.

Go take it if you have, oh, 90 minutes to kill...its really fucking comprehensive

Ok i have to eat something or I'll shake to pieces

Your Girl's Loveli, Hubble

Hahahahaa.

Well, today is the day all my letters are due. Currently two of them have been submitted, and the other two promised yesterday that they would actually get done. Don't know if I believe them just yet.
In other news, the Worst Day Ever (yesterday) is over (duh) and wasn't so bad, and now the ONLY thing I have left to do for this quarter is write a couple more astoundingly smart-sounding pages of my research proposal in one class and turn it in. Now before you go getting all jealous, let's remember that quarters are only 10 weeks long, but I have THREE of them before summer, so long after you've all finished all your commitments for spring semester I'll be slaving away on extremely hard statistic problems, till the middle of June.

JD and I are supposed to be at Disneyland today, catching up on not having gone in like three weeks because I've been so retardedly busy, but instead I am not out of bed yet, checking my email every five seconds (I get a confirmation email from the fellowship program each time a letter is submitted on my behalf). I don't think anything is better to a dork grad student than staying up kind of late leisurely working on a paper that's mostly done that isn't due for days when you know you don't have to get up and do anything or be anywhere at any point the next day....it's so nice that my responsibilities to classwork, at least, are subsiding.

Still no comp cd in the mail. Tomorrow will make it two weeks. I've never heard of something taking two weeks to arrive anywhere. Fucking liar.

Did I mention that I wore flip flops all day yesterday? It's slightly chilly here at night, something like 64 degrees, but still flip flop weather. HAHAHA.

Who else is having fucked up dreams? Huh? I swear I'm astrally traveling these days.
You guys know that stupid picture cube in my mom's apartment that has Jenny crowing "Happy Mother's Day, Mom!" over and over, if you push it repeatedly like all of us do?
Well she wrote me and sis an email today about how it just started talking on its own, when she and the cat are across the room. Heh heh

OK that's plenty. You bitches need to update your blogs. Some of you are bitches, anyway