The Part of The Day That I Cannot Sleep Away

Wowie zowie. Licking your greasy spoon. That I carry to mix this cake batter. Sleeping on the asphalt. Leper, a leper. Why do I feel like I'm falling? Faaaaaallling. Take me Home. Go drown in Memphis or something.

I'm in comp cd making overload. MULTIPLE songs are stuck in my head. Is that even possible? I just wanted to tell you guys that there are MANY new photos up on the fotopage, including some really pretty shots of our $1400 per month landscaping. At least there are ducks. they quack a lot and come floating right over cuz I think people feed them when they shouldn't. They're about fiteen thousadn times cooler than our downstairs neighbors, which are on the other side of us. Sigh. They're being loud right now. And the other day, I was naked, as usual, and I caught Benzy the Fat Fucker peeping in my dining room (that's my office) window. Ok so I wasn't naked but I made a big harrumphing show of glaring at him and dramatically closing the vertical blinds as fast as possible. Next time I'm calling the cops.

benzy is the fatty who seems to just be friends with the pot heads right below us, he lives with the pre-teen rich boy across from them. he drives a red benz (duh, right?) and gets out of his car saying things like "i'm just smokin' endo, sippin' on gin and JUICE" when he's really got powerade and is so not cool. I hate him more than all the others. Some cuz he's fat, some cuz I smiled at him once and he looked away. As IF.

Those of you with whom Xmas present truces have been called will probably be getting a comp cd anyway, but it doesn't cost much so don't sweat it. Raedy, I am still trying to master our challenging agreement to spend less than a dollar. Hmmm. I wonder if I have time to buy you one piece of Sanrio gum before I fly out Wednesday. Probably not. I'll buy you a $1 Target gift card. Hahahahaha.

Yay for Kwaanza Dinner, yay for Girly Movie Night. Yay for Chris Daniels and Stacey coming to Evansville, yay for my mom.

I was telling Stacey about my dream where Kyle made fun of my armpits, and what I left off of here but am including now because she said it made the dream way more hilarious, is the fact that when I ran into them I was topless and wearing khaki cutoffs. But that was the required beach attire, it was nothing scandalous.

Someone wanna start interpreting these fuckers? I'll pay one piece of Sanrio gum per satisfactory answer. Raedy congrats on being done with Lame Quarter Uno.

I might be too busy tomorrow to post, waaah. So in case my planes both crash and I don't survive either of them, lovels to you all. You'll still get your comp cds though, I think JD will bring those.

Shane, hope you didn't get hurt today. And hope that works out ok.

YEAH EVILLE HERE I COME!!!!!! WHEEEEEEE-HAAAAAA

From The Depths Of My Gloom

So I can't sleep again. Big fat shocker there. I slept for a few hours, had a weird dream, woke up and couldn't get comfortable so I came out in the living room to bore myself to sleep, as usual. I think I'll just stay up until JD gets up in like 45 minutes and then sleep after he leaves for work.

In this dream I was going to read something and sit on the beach all day, and I ran into Keith and Kyle and Kyle was making fun of me for having hairy armpits, and I had to climb up a ladder but I didn't want to because I knew they'd make fun of me more. And then I had to sneak into this room to get my Cosmo out of a plastic bag and I found an extra magazine in it. woohoo. I'm starting to think dreams might not be all that special.

My big plans for today include making an unnecessarili detailed list of things I need to bring home with me, packing and probably repacking suitcases, frantically trying to figure out what to get my sister for Xmas, and burning endless cds. For those of you with whom I haven't yet discussed it, I am following Raedy's lead and calling a Christmas Present Truce with as many people as possible, so unless we have specifically discussed that I am getting you something please, please don't get me anything.

The GRE was fucking early-ass o'clock Saturday, I so totally kicked it's ass it's almost not funny. I'm sure Raedy and I both forced it to eat itself in shame. And Raedy, I felt that same smug "ha, losers, I'm ALREADY in grad school" thing, and there was one really stupid girl in particular who was "on standby" for the test, not that there was any danger of her not being allowed to take it, and she needed help filling out every single space on her answer sheet. Also, she wore loud ass flip flops and tromped up and down the stairs every 10 minutes. Also, when I got there in the morning it was gorgeous t-shirt weather but the girl standing outside directing people to the rooms was wearing sweat pants, a fleecey shirt, gloves, a scarf, a sock hat, and she was shivering and clutching her Coffee Bean grande mocha to her chest. People here are fucking retarded sometimes. The test proctor also pointed out how "nice" she was to allow us to wait for the test to start inside the room, rather than outside, which she only did because it was "so cold." The tank-top-with-gloves-and-a-scarf look is annoyingly big out here, I think just because it happens to be December.

Not that you guys cared about the GRE, but hey, I'm fucking thrilled it's done with.
Any requests for anything I can bring you that you just can't get in Indiana? JD and I took some pictures of the area the other day, I'll put those on my foto thingy sometime tomorrow if I remember. You have to keep in mind that it's winter here, so nothing is quite as ridiculously pretty as usual

Hahahahahah. Ah ah ahahahah.

What else? Sunday was the 9th anniversary of a Very Dark Day in the Davis Family History, and for some reason this year it really bothered me more than usual. Maybe because I actually thought about it, a little too much, and whatever it's called I tend to be one of those people who can actually think themselves into a situation so hard that I get just as freaked out as if I were actually there...which is reason #29484852048577348-49584 I'll never intentionally skydive. But I have a real nasty way of getting too caught up in my thoughts, and I think i'm more stressed out than usual this year, and it's getting hard for me to see the big picture of things these days.

But I still love you guys! and I can't wait to see you. Kyle, I want to go see LOTR sometime this week, JD and I arent' going to go Tuesday night. Jenny, you need to tell me one way or another if I'm coming to Bloomington this weekend. Oh my god that's so soon. Holy shit. It better not be cold there. Yeah I think that's it.

People With Hugely Fat Chins
Circle I Limbo

Insincerity, People my age that call me "kid"
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

The Cast Of Rich Girls
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

People who make jokes about Stacey going to Fake School
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Unnecessarili cutesi name spelling
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Nouveau Riche
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Loud chewing noises
Circle VII Burning Sands

Lamey McBadfriend
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Benzy, My Fat Fuck Neighbor
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

And You Wanna Find Peace And You Find Me

Instead of going to bed at a decent hour so I can get up at a different decent hour and plant my atrophy-ing ass in the same uncomfortable spot on the couch for another 15 hours of half-assed studying-while-rich-girls-is-on-in-the-background, I have opted to submit to my newfound (new this last few months, I mean) insomnia. Usually it's bad, usually I have to be so tired that I'm seeing flashing lights in my peripheral vision before I can go to bed, but now it's even worse. You want to know why?

Ok, so when you're as busy lazy as I am and you don't go to the Girl Doctor to renew your birth control prescription and you run out of pills, your body starts going back to normal. In my case, this means I can actually feel menstrual cramps, which blows, but more importantly, I cannot stop thinking about sex. Not for a minute, and it's getting progressively worse. I'm having explicit dreams when I do sleep, and sitting around trying to study the world's most boring textbook only encourages my mind to wander. It's un-fricking-believable how creative my mind is.

Oh, but this is bad because JD has to go to sleep at like 6pm because he has to get up so early, and common decency tells me that I should just wait to get in bed until I'm sure I'm gonna sleep right away, lest I inadverdently (hahahahaha) wake him. So because I have no outlet for these overpowering daydreams, I have been trying to channel the pent-up-ness (I feel, no doubt, how every seventeen year old boy feels all the time) into constructive outlets, which might include studying if I could fucking concentrate, which I can't, so that's out. Does anyone want to have phone sex with me? I am so serious. Stacey? Ashleigh? I'll be here all week (cymbol crash)

So instead of doing anything at all with my mind, I have been studiously going through a bunch of my cds and iTunes and making Top Five lists of a bunch of stuff. I felt like I should post it here so I could say I'd done something productive with my time. also, I like for you to have to read boring shit on my blog.

Liz's Top Five Songs, Arranged By Artist

Jeff Buckley
1. Forget Her
2. Morning Theft
3. I Woke Up In A Strange Place
4. Mojo Pin
5. Hallelujah

Radiohead
1. Talk Show Host
2. Street Spirit (check out the Darkness cover of this one, heh heh)
3. Like Spinning Plates
4. Lucky
5. How Can You Be Sure?

Mogwai
1. Take Me Somewhere Nice
2. Summer
3. My Father My King
4. 2 Rights Make 1 Wrong
5. You Don't KNow Jesus

The Black Heart Procession
1. A Light So Dim
2. A Heart Like Mine
3. I Know Your Ways
4. It's A Crime I Never Told You Bout The Diamonds In Your Eyes
5. We Always Knew

Jimmy Eat World
1. For Me This Is Heaven
2. A Sunday
3. Sweetness
4. Lucky Denver Mint
5. Ten

Ani DiFranco
1. Gravel
2. Superhero
3. Jukebox
4. Untouchable Face
5. Loom

Tool
1. Sober
2. Forty-Six and 2
3. Stinkfist
4. Pushit
5. AEnima

Sunny Day Real Estate
1. Pillars
2. 8
3. Iscaribaid
4. Guitar and Video Games
5. J'Nuh

Bjork
1. Verandi
2. It's Not Up To You
3. Unison
4. Bachelorette
5. Joga

Lovage
1. Anger Management
2. Lifeboat
3. To Catch A Thief
4. Archie and Veronica
5. Pit Stop (Take Me Home)

Frames
1. Santa Maria
2. Friends and Foe
3. What Happens When The Heart Just Stops
4. Look Back Now
5. Headlong

Oh my god. that did nothing to distract me. I think I'm going to go swim a few miles in the ocean, see if that douses this absurd restless feeling. I feel like I have been unknowingly injected with adrenaline and am attributing this hyper-aroused state to my current emotional state (Quick, Raedy, whose ass-backwards theory of emotion attribution is this?) which is happy which makes me feel like I am in the first stages of falling in love with somebody again. This is so bizarre. Thankfully, I can count on Evansville to kill it. Which reminds me that JD is coming home for a week or so, on Xmas. Surprise!

This Lovely Neck Will Be Chopped As Soon As I Say So

Happy Belated Birthday to Myself! Wheeeee!
It's so unmomentous being 22. How did you guys all stand it? There's nothing to look forward to now except for menopause. Oh and my sexual peak. I guess that's not for awhile though, so until then I'll just keep studying for the lamest lame test in the world and keep misdiagnosing myself with diseases like "hypertension" and "general anxiety disorder" and "syphillis"

hahah.

The Psych GRE is Saturday, and WHOA HORSE I'm not progressing in my studying very well. I took a diagnostic test a couple days ago and got FORTY PERCENT correct, which sounded some alarm bells in my head that maybe I didn't retain a goddamn thing from college that didn't pertain directly to development, or language, or research, or cognition, or other things I thought were interesting. Leaving me with a gaping hole of non-understanding when it comes to 90% of psychoogy, all boring shit like perception, sensation, Freud, motivation, learning, neuropsych, personality, social psych, psychopathology, and treatment. fucking a.

Oh well.

Thanks to everyone who called/otherwise remembered it was my birthday yesterday. Don't worry if your presents haven't arrived just yet, I'll check the mail later today and I'm sure I'll get it then. Hahahahahahah

Yesterday JD's mom called me and she was in the middle of a story about a pooping baby and her cell phone cut out. So I sat and stared at the phone waiting for her to call back for like ten minutes, but she didn't. Then Jenny called. So I never got around to talking to her, and maybe letting her know I didn't hang up on her because of her offensive poop story.

Jenny said we're going to see Amahl and the Night Visitors, a really obscure Davis Family Christmas Tradition that no one else has ever heard of. Damn that's a good play. Oh and mom said I could take her car on Saturday to come up to Bton, Sis.

what else. Nothing important, I'm sure. Passions sucks balls. nothing's worse than watching a fledgling soap opera from it's beginning, since you started college at UE, and watching it suck continually worse every day. Or maybe it's always sucked this bad. I've evolved to Sex and the City now anyway. Keep checking Amazon for present ideas, you non-buying-me-presents guys. hahahahahaha

lovels!

feel better and get less stressed, ya'll

Everything Looks Perfect From Far Away

I've had some weird dreams in the last few days, we'll attribute this to my newly rediscovered Sleeping All The Time REM rebound thanks to two months of insomnia which made me just a little crazy. I had a dream this morning, influenced heavily I'm sure by the episode of Punk'd that was playing while I was thinking about waking up, in which I was in charge of letting people into a movie premiere and I was dressed like a bag lady and I knew it was for Gaticka or whatever that movie is and people kept running by me flashing their tickets at me and I thought I was going to get in trouble.

Then yesterday I had a very weird dream in which I was being forced to get married, I don't think to JD, and I was wearing a strapless bright blue prom dress and a large German woman was styling my hair but she was doing a really bad job of it and I was panicking. At least my mom would approve of the color. So then I ran away and was working at a dock with Stacey and our job was to sit on the docks, wait for huge waves to come, grab a fish out of the wave, put some crushed ice into a brown paper bag, cut the fish's head off, put the fish body in the bag, and put more ice over it. And we had no tools to do this so it was tricksy. And then I caught a crab instead of a fish on accident and if that's symbolic of something I think we'll all have a good chuckle
And then a huge tidal wave came and washed Stacey out to sea and I was sure she'd drown. Hmmm.

Shane, the west coast is a very strange place. at least orange county is. But hell yes you should move out here. So should everyone else. The cross-country drive alone is worth it. Come join the never-ending parade of delusion of people who are going to Make It.

Janel, congrats. There seems to be a correlation between a few things there. I'll do a study. Let you guys know.

Ashleigh's elected to join me and Raedy's Breakdown Club, where we have emotional and physical breakdowns when we're stressed out, all the time.

I can't remember anything else I wanted to put on here. Blaeckhasf, neeer

Trying to Find a Balance

Hmmm. Turned in my paper today, got an email commending me for kicking the group project's ass and receiving an A+ on it, a big fat thanks for nothing, you guys are welcome so fucking much goes out to my group of non-helpful team members, so I'm sitting pretty 7.5ish now that all my technical obligations are fulfilled. Haven't even gotten dressed yet. Tried to call Stace but I guess she was screening her calls and hates me.

For future reference, I will have a nice wishlist on Amazon under "teresita marzipan" once it gets posted, you may thusly consult that when/if you find yourself at a loss for what to get me. Some things are not serious requests, like the TiVo system.

I am shaking from ingesting too much caffeine, it's really funny. this happens all the time, and probably contributes to my sleep problems.

Since I am kind of bored (but I started my holiday shopping, please start telling me what you want), here is the free personality profile I got from eharmony (you know, the dating site with commercials featuring a stodgy looking elderly man talking about morality)
and what it says about my personality:

* Because of your thoughtful nature, you need others to express sincere interest in you or the relationship. This offers the secure feeling that you seek.
* During times of stress or tension, you may withdraw inside yourself and appear as somewhat cool and aloof. You need to be alone when thinking through projects, problems or solutions.
* You usually assume a cautious and reserved demeanor when meeting new people. Your relationships must grow naturally and in sincere ways. You will not confide in others readily because of your need for security.
* You may be a matter-of-fact person who may be critical of the shortcomings of others who display a more emotional or outgoing side.
* Others may see you as disciplined and self-controlled. You have seen the problems of being overly optimistic when planning to depend on others following through.
* Others showing genuine sincerity and acceptance impress you. You do not like a shallow expression of feelings or thoughtlessness of others. You will get along with most people you meet because you don't cause hostility.
* Some people may inaccurately perceive you as not liking people. You may be misread by others, because you approach social situations with logic and objectivity, judging others by their competence--you may sometimes be misread by others.
* Because of your need to be quiet rather than rambling, you are somewhat introspective about events and activities. You may not communicate readily and rapidly with others, but this does not mean you don't support others.
* You may want to base relationships on a nonemotional respect for each other's abilities, and base your level of trust on directness and straightforwardness.
* You tend to listen rather than talk. You may place a premium on display of emotions. As a result, "reading" you at times may be difficult.
* You attempt to influence others not by showing great emotion, but by appealing to the logical nature of people. Those who are more emotional and excitable may sometimes ignore your approach.
* You are usually astute in social situations because you take little at face value, will listen carefully and accurately, and will watch others carefully.
* You may be somewhat reticent and retiring when with others, especially in a large group. As others grow louder, you may become quieter. You value control of emotions, and are more reflective than rowdy.

You respect people who do the following:
* If you agree, follow through with your end of the agreement.
* Give pros and cons of ideas.
* Use a logical and unemotional approach.
* Use a tone of voice that shows sincerity.
* Show patience, especially when drawing out information.
* Provide time to analyze the data before making a decision.
* Have facts and ideas in a logical order.
* If you disagree, organize your thoughts before confronting your partner.
* Respect quiet demeanor. Use a thoughtful approach.

* You tend to set and maintain very high standards for yourself.
* You are good at making certain that even small details are taken care of.
* You tend to be the "Anchor of Reality" in highly emotional situations.
* You don't tend to get distracted by superficial issues.
* You tend to have very high values.
* You are skilled at finding practical solutions to complicated situations.
* You generally take pride in being a strong community member.
* You are good at "troubleshooting" potential problems in a relationship.

You may want:
* Acceptance in a variety of groups.
* Equal relations with others.
* Others to work and play as hard as you do.
* Support of your ideas and dreams.
* Partners who practice listening and participation.
* Social recognition of your accomplishments.
* More time in the day for both work and play.
* Many activities, so there is never a dull moment.
* A support system to help you get things done.
* Popularity.
* A variety of activities.

Go take it if you have, oh, 90 minutes to kill...its really fucking comprehensive

Ok i have to eat something or I'll shake to pieces

Your Girl's Loveli, Hubble

Hahahahaa.

Well, today is the day all my letters are due. Currently two of them have been submitted, and the other two promised yesterday that they would actually get done. Don't know if I believe them just yet.
In other news, the Worst Day Ever (yesterday) is over (duh) and wasn't so bad, and now the ONLY thing I have left to do for this quarter is write a couple more astoundingly smart-sounding pages of my research proposal in one class and turn it in. Now before you go getting all jealous, let's remember that quarters are only 10 weeks long, but I have THREE of them before summer, so long after you've all finished all your commitments for spring semester I'll be slaving away on extremely hard statistic problems, till the middle of June.

JD and I are supposed to be at Disneyland today, catching up on not having gone in like three weeks because I've been so retardedly busy, but instead I am not out of bed yet, checking my email every five seconds (I get a confirmation email from the fellowship program each time a letter is submitted on my behalf). I don't think anything is better to a dork grad student than staying up kind of late leisurely working on a paper that's mostly done that isn't due for days when you know you don't have to get up and do anything or be anywhere at any point the next day....it's so nice that my responsibilities to classwork, at least, are subsiding.

Still no comp cd in the mail. Tomorrow will make it two weeks. I've never heard of something taking two weeks to arrive anywhere. Fucking liar.

Did I mention that I wore flip flops all day yesterday? It's slightly chilly here at night, something like 64 degrees, but still flip flop weather. HAHAHA.

Who else is having fucked up dreams? Huh? I swear I'm astrally traveling these days.
You guys know that stupid picture cube in my mom's apartment that has Jenny crowing "Happy Mother's Day, Mom!" over and over, if you push it repeatedly like all of us do?
Well she wrote me and sis an email today about how it just started talking on its own, when she and the cat are across the room. Heh heh

OK that's plenty. You bitches need to update your blogs. Some of you are bitches, anyway

It's Hard to Make the Good Things Last

hahahahhahaha, aha ah ah aha ha ah

Fun with Google. Fun fun fun. Check out JD's new funny funny link for clarification. No, I don't think it's real, and you shouldn't either, but isn't it fun to pretend? Click on the sidebar that says "poetry by author" if you want to read his other poems about heartbreak, love, or religion. Hoooooo hooo

Less than four hours until the lamest month ever is over. thank christ

Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm kicking my group project's ass all over the place, despite the nothing I have to work with, and I just made a fucking powerpoint presentation for it and finished the extremely convoluted group paper so it's NEARLY finished

Also, I forced Ashleigh to promise earlier that she will arrange fun sleepovers for me as often as possible when I am in town, because my sister will also be in town, and sometimes having the Davis Three all in one teeny apartment leads to friction, and I won't have a car or anywhere specific to go to escape, so I'll be counting on nice invitations to slumber parties from you all, and also on being chauffered around the entire time I'm home. So, that plus a birthday party isn't too much to ask, right?

And what I want for Xmas, if you're planning on shopping for me, which you're of course not but it never hurts to be specific, is for you to go buy yourself a goddamn plane ticket and come visit southern california in the near future, because you must believe me when I say it is awesomely hard to be bored here, and I know you're jonesing for the beach, and all the hedonistic unnecessities they have here would be so much more fun if you were here. Or Ikea gift cards. Because there are rooms in this apartment that are comically sparse, and it distracts me like clutter. Organized chaos, has to be a very specific organized mess for me to function.

So, Chris Daniels, when will you be home and do you wanna go see LOTR with me when you get there? And if anyone wants to see any movies at all, I almost definitely have not seen them and probably want to, so let's do that. And sis if you want to go to Chicago at some point let's do that, I promised grandma I would try to get up there but haven't a car. Raedy when are you coming to Eville to visit we should plan one of the sleepovers to coincide with your being there so as to best facilitate Karaoke Party and I'd like to be drunk most of the time I'm home

And I'll be sleeping about 14 hours a day, so I'll be awake when you're free. Wow, I'm really looking forward to seeing all you guys. Only 17 more days! Whee!

Time to go churn out yet ANOTHER paper

Captain Bitter

I'm taking a wee tiny break from wanting-to-kill-myself paper writing to roll my eyes at how badly people who are supposed to be smart write scientifically. Also, no one but Raedy will understand how hard it is to track down professors who are supposed to write you recommendation letters as the deadline approaches; I have three out of four still ignoring my increasingly frantic reminders that the letters are due this Wednesday, which is not helping my overall stress level. Cuz you know what? If I don't have fucking recommendations, I can kiss the chance of funding goodbye, which isnt' funny in light of how much busting my ass I've been (and still have to do) doing for months only to have them crap out on me at the last second.

If I were a pop star, I wouldn't let Shania Twain's stylist anywhere near me

oh wait there's a fat virginal crossword puzzle over there calling my name, gotta go

My Inner Demons Compel Me To Be Here

So we'll do this in two parts; one where I bitch and one where I espouse all the things I'm happy for.

Red and Yellow and Pink and Blue
1.) I am tired of editing together bits of slop my fellow group members send me that don't make sense logically or temporally if you read them straight through; however, they are chock full of words like "evinced," and not in the right context. It's like if a certain ex-boyfriend of mine had decided to write his memoirs and asked me to smart them up for him.

2.) I am not pleased that I have been holding my breath to receive a comp cd in the mail for a whole week that I don't really believe is coming, but it's so exciting to get something in the mail I can't help it.

3.) I forgot to take my comp cds I just made with us when we drove to Phoenix. So, we listened to the same three JD hates over and over and over

4.) It took us eight (8) hours of continuous driving to get there Wednesday. Eight. Eight HOURS. I don't think I hate anything more than driving inland from here and having to go through Riverside where ALL the traffic from the whole southern half of the state is funnelled into one huge construction lane, and then people are such assholes that they probably meant to crash into one another on the freeways and back up traffic for such a long time that people got out of their cars and walked their dogs as we sat there in the middle of the desert with nothing to look at. Eight fucking hours, and the last half my car was out of oil (?!) and shaking and we were 6,000 ft. in the air driving straight up the side of a mountain that we couldn't see because it was dark with 15mph curves that really meant 15mph

Oh, and hence unless it is important, I don't want to ever go to the huge Palm Springs outlet mall when you come visit. Unless you REALLY want to go, because I hate Riverside that much.

5.) If I don't start sleeping like a normal person soon, I am going to a psychiatrist. I am really really worried about it. especially because I had a dream this morning where eminem flicked a tick off my forehead and then I had a third-eye scar there

6.) I think all my clothes are shrinking when I wash them. That, or, as is probably the case, I have gained eight thousand pounds since becoming a sedentary grad student and soon won't be able to move from the couch; or, fit into one plane seat.

7.) The next week of my life, until Friday at noon, is going to suck huge balls. I don't even want to think about it too hard here. It just blows. all over the place.

8.) I need a cigarette, a tanning bed, and a haircut almost as bad as I need a caffeine IV, a full night's sleep, and a bottle of rum. On a deserted island. With all my favorite people.

9.) When you're too busy to sort out your health insurance and get your ass to the gynocologist, and you run out of birth control a couple months ago and you have actual menstrual cramps for the first time in like 7 years, that sucks.

10.) I am sad that my birthday's going to be very probably very dull...JD will have started both his jobs by then and I'll be done with school, so I'll be sitting around studying for the GRe subject test. Hint. Bored off my ass. Hint. With the phone in easy reach. Hint. Also, I am distarught that LOTR comes out on the day I fly home, which means JD and I can't go see it, which means unless one of you volunteers I have no one to look forward to seeing it with that will clap and cheer like all the hardcore Tolkien dorks do when it's opening night. Maybe there's a midnight show.
Hint. Ahem, volunteers? Hint.


Orange and Purple and Blue

1.) I am thankful for family, period. It never used to matter so much to me, but it's so nice that we can go hang out with JD's grandparents and I feel so welcome (you've all met JD's mom, right? they're her parents and it runs in the family) that it doesn't matter that the drive was the worst of my life, or we go to Coco's for thanksgiving dinner and I have cinnamon french toast, because they insist on taking us to see the world's largest collection of themed gingerbreads houses and the world's largest display of animated xmas lights in a park you drive through. And mom and Jenny, whose non-presence made it feel acutely NON-holidayish for me, who I can't wait to see....it's just such a reassurance that there are people who care unconditionally whether you're blood or not, and I love all of them (and all of you as well, pseudo-family!) back

2.) Dave Walsh calling JD's cell phone, apparently drunk, at 3am last night, the only night this week I've been sleeping at 3am, to announce that he, Toni, Dustin, and Shane miss us, and saying that he thought with the time difference it wouldn't be too late to call us. Hahahahahahahahahaha

3.) The Two Towers extended version

4.) The fact that the end of this quarter is in sight. And things are getting done.

5.) JD's fucking kick ass job at Rickenbacker

6.) Mind-numbingly easy crossword puzzles

7.) I have a working car, a fabulous apartment, clothes, food, my best friend, a bed to sleep on, everything I need, plus all the stuff that goes along with Indiana that I get to look forward to

8.) Being at a school I like, in a program I love, with people I get along with and can hang out with, with enough support to feel like I'll be as successful as possible here

9.) Dreams that wake me up thinking they're still real for a few seconds, especially ones with people I don't normally get to see

10.) Everyone I care about is relatively healthy and happy.

what the hell else would I possibly need or want

Oh, maybe a month-long birthday party celebration. Please.
But that's it

Time to watch Legolas Fest II and then sleep until I have to pick my friend up at the airport. Come visit. Lovels to you all, even those of you who are too cool to update or write anymore.

Artex, You're Sinking

I want to gouge my eyeballs out with highlighters, because then maybe I could have a nice break from looking at things I don't care about.
This has been an entire day of people coming up to me, slapping me in the face, and going "there, I've effectively tripled your workload-which was already at critical mass-for the rest of the quarter. I'd like a cookie now"
I just posted a big stupid rant about how busy I am, but fuck it. Everyone's busy, everyone's losing their mind (and "everyone" to me, as usual, means "Raedy" because she's representative) and I don't doubt I can live until next Friday, I just kind of don't want to have to jump through all the suddenly appearing hoops to get there. Fucking bullshit tidal waves coming out of nowehre today, everyone asking me to do things that are semi-reasonable when it's just that thing, but I am way overextending myself

Oh wait, I forgot I have a pretty vicious bitchy streak, I'll just tell people no when they overload me with bitchwork that isn't my problem. Nevermind, problem solved.

Jeeeeeeeze oh pete

So tomorrow after my ass-o-clock meeting we're going to Phoenix for thanksgiving, that's nice, that'll be fun, tonight I have to do more work than I can fathom, all while trying not to just zonk out because I haven't slept in two days. Because I've been so worried about oversleeping. Fuck

Hey but JD got a job, check his blog...that's good news. I wish I had something interesting-er to talk about. I'm just busy. And having panic attacks. And spitting while I talk. And NOT holding my breath for a comp cd I was told was in the mail, which has not arrived and never will, because the sender probably "accidentally sent it to wendi" instead

fuuuuck

I WANT A BIRTHDAY PARTY WHEN I GET HOME

I Wanna Banish You From Whence You Came

I had a dream this morning where I ventured too far into the ocean and found myself in that same stupid can't-move-no-matter-how-hard-I-fight-the-current scenario as Florida only it was nighttime so it was double scary. I had a dream yesterday morning where I was at "disneyland" which was nothing like disneyland but I've "been" to this place in dreams before and this time I decided to go a different way when I first walked in and I discovered this "nature trail" that let you walk up to overlook a huge waterfall thing and I was convinced I was going to fall to the bottom, break all my bones, and then drown in two feet of water.

Also, my sleep schedule has been a little erratic in that I either sleep not at all, tossing and turning and dozing for ten minutes at a time to total not more than 40 minutes of sleep, or I sleep for 14 hours in a 24-hour period and can't function. And no matter which it is, I have a constant pounding headache. I'm starting to think I'm making myself sick by being stressed out all the time. I feel like crying or throwing up all the time. I am so sick of always being out of money. More than anything, I'm sick of having to worry all the time about how we're going to pay next month's bills and how the fuck we're ever going to pay any of our debt back, and it's just exhausting. It's not even school. It's just this continual lump in my throat that's been there for the last four months and isn't going away because nothing has changed in terms of How Much Shit I Have To Worry About since we got here. It would have been perfectly manageable for the first month, or the first two months, or the first two-and-a-half months, but I just can't function at this fever pitch anxiety level anymore. My body's just shutting down right and left and I stare at blank walls for minutes at a time without a single thought running through my head. I think I'm losing my mind.

It's About Damn Time

Well, it's official. If you go to msn.com and search for "euphamism for pooping," my blog pops up as number one.

It's a proud, proud day in the Davis family.

Maybe I Haven't Made Myself Clear

I had a dream this morning that I foolishly left a sweater and a purse, containing all my mom's jewelry, somewhere and forgot it, and when i went back to retrieve it I was delighted to find it still there, sans all the valuables including her wedding band. The idea that her wedding band was stolen was the salient idea in the dream. I'll be accepting explanations all day.

Today in class a woman came to talk to us who does research on seismology. Oh good god. There is no doubt in my mind that california will be separating at the San Andreas Fault in the next twenty years and everyone who lives below it (i.e., LA, Orange county, san diego, me) will go swiftly into the sea. Oh my god. She compared the energy release of different earthquakes to comprehendable things, like lightning, and the odds of a huge earthquake somewhere along any of the eight bajillion faults in southern california that is equal to the energy release of 32 NUCLEAR WARHEADS are alarmingly large. Like, every fault in the entire area is overdue to go, and it is not going to be pretty when it does. Oh my god. And everything below the SAF (us included) is moving northwest (!) at a GPS-detectable rate of about as fast as your fingernails grow, separate from the other side of the fault. Which means that all this strain is building up in the fault, and when it finally gives there's going to be a gigantic displacement and probably we are going to sink and die and the world is completely going to end.

Earthquakes, while fucking fascinating, are really unsettling. Hahahahahahaha. "unsettling."

Happy late birthday, celeste. Congrats on turning in your brief, Chris.
I think Oprah could say "poop on a stick is a great holiday gift" and people woudl not only believe her, they'd form a foundation about it. Whereas I don't even have the ability to found a fricking book club.

Also, those of you who have thanked me for the comp cds are very welcome. Those of you whose name is Jenny and MUST have gotten them by now (since they made it to France) but haven't said anything can eat a dick.

You know what's annoying when you have a really tight, neurotic schedule of things you need to do? Not being able to get any of the readings for either of your classes because assholes have taken them and not returned them in days and it's not like you're fucking surprised because they do this every time but it's still really fucking irritating.

Yeah grumble.

I was also required to read some articles for today that discussed Irvine in specific, and how weird this whole area is. You'll just have to come see for yourselves, but I've lost sight of what's weird compared to the midwest (except there aren't any fat people here, and no one smokes, except our downstairs neighbors, but since "chronic" isn't bad for you, who cares) so it'll be fun to watch reactions to the fact that I am wearing a tank top and flip flops and couldn't be more comfortable. And, the jaw-dropping shopping. Hoo hoo hoo. What do you guys want me to bring home for Xmas that you can't get in Indiana? Might be a tough question since you don't know what's here.

Anyway. Earthquakes. Suck.

When It Comes Right Down to It, This Is Really Not Your Fight

I've spent the entire day doing nothing. JD and I tried reading the paper and drinking coffee like tv couples do on Sundays, but when I would ask him for help with the crossword puzzle and he would reply, "Buzzule fweeeberlt oriffythish," I just got frustrated. Not only would he mumble incoherent consonants and loll around on the bed with his wanger hanging out the bottom of his shorts (I'd like to point out the excessive use of the word "wanger" by us all; thanks to Raedy's ex-boyfriend/ninja assassin Shawn for introducing us to it), but his suggesting words like "orangutan" when I say the clue is "baked good" and it's b-blank-e-a-d just sealed the deal. JD is not useful for completing crossword puzzles, everyone.

Other than that, I've read a magazine and watched two consecutive Law & Order:Criminal Intent episodes. I have left the bed only to pee since I woke up. I'm telling myself I don't have to be doing anything productive today because the real deluge of work and stress shouldn't start until, oh, tomorrow morning. So then it's probably non-stop freaking out until the very end of the quarter, which is much sooner than I can wrap my brain around right now. Oh damn it's 11 and I actually have lots I should do tonight. Fuck.

Like Clockwork Markovnikov Processes

Well. It's Thursday and as I live and breathe and sit down to start outlining what may be the most amusing post in the world (to me at least, and perhaps Stacey) my cell phone rings. And, like clockwork, I'm just sitting down to watch nbc, I'm thinking about what reading I need to do, I'm settling into the evening, and since it's been two weeks to the fucking hour, my cell phone rings. ahh, routine. Ahhhh, the feeling of being slotted into the "thursday night after work every other week" phone call circuit.

At least I fucking talked to Stace today. Laughed my ass off. Good metaphor, good stuff. I'll put it up here next time I feel like typing. It's going to be a new game where you try to guess who the composite asshole I'm describing is. the answer will surely stun you.

I rocked a midterm today, check it out Raedy, it had MULTIPLE CHOICE questions on it. absurd that they even offer matching sections on a grad exam. Fuuuuuunny. The professor thought he was pretty hilarious too, I guess the idea that we all way over-studied really amused him. Great. Oh fuck it I tore it up.

How are you guys? I AM COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS TO MY TRIUMPHANT RETURN, FINALE TO MY FIRST QUARTER OF GRAD SCHOOL, MONTH-LONG BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION FOR WHICH STACEY HAS PROMISED TO MAKE A CAKE, AND MULTIPLE ROAD TRIPS TO ANYWHERE ANYONE WANTS TO GO, IN YOUR CARS.

Fabulous-o

You Can't Call A Baby An Asshole!

Wowie wow wow, look at all that introspective ranting I'll take credit for inspiring! Very hilarious and thought-provoking. Makes me nostalgic for books like 1984, Brave New World, Season of Passage (heh), The Prince, and Nausea. We should start a book club. I tried to start a book club with Keith a couple weeks ago, this is how that went:

Me: Let's start a book club, if you're so bored and unfulfilled with your life
Him: Ok.
Me: What should we read?
Him: I dunno.
Me: Nabokov, Dostoevsky, Sartre, LOTR trilogy, the hobbit, Dune, Dr. Doolittle (some of you who aren't me or Jenny may not realize how AWESOME the Dr. Doolittle books are), 1984, Brave New World..
Him (interrupting): Actually, I havent' read 1984
Me: Oh! Then we should read that!
Him: No, I'm kinda proud of never having read it. Stupid required reading I never had to do in high school
Me: It's not stupid! It's one of my favorite books. What about Brave New World?
Him: I've read parts of that a long time ago, I think that's all I need to know about that stuff

(Meaning, I guess, dystopias?)

Me: Ok, then how about..
Him (interrupting): So did I mention that I made you a comp cd three months ago but have been listening to it myself since then and have no plans to actually send it to you because my girlfriend doesn't want me making cds for you?
Me: So, we'll just nevermind about the book club then

Yeah. So Let's start a nice book club.

Also:
*I caught my own fingernail in my jeans zipper today and ripped it. That's a first.

*Jenny, Andy; Your much-anticipated comp cds are in the mail. Pardon the fricking Sanrio stationary overload. Aric, your dvd is en route. Keith, I sent a cd to you care of Wendi's parents to the Indianapolis address you provided. Hahahahahaha.

there was something else I wanted to comment on and I've forgotten it.

Oh yeah: Guys, in keeping with Andy's suggestion to not just blanket-ly state that I love you (which is a good and frustrating point to make), I have some compliments to dole out:

JD: your ass looks killer in those jeans today (have any of you ever seen JD wear jeans? it was weird and never happened until he got this pair. HOLLA)

Stacey: I'd like to wish you a sincere congrats on reaching your six month anniversary! That's quite a feat. You also have a lovely storytelling style!

Ashleigh: You are so thoughtful to send holiday cards! I know I'm proud to find gossip out about you, and your blog always makes me laugh aloud. Especially your fresh-off-the-street slang. I always look to you for the latest greatest phrasings.

Raedy: You are SO kicking ass in grad school! We're both going to be wildly famous and collaborate on thousands of studies! Also, you have a very entertaining photo blog.

Chris: Pumpkin, I'm sorry school is hard. At least you have your dashing dark hair/blue eyes combo going to keep you afloat, with the ladies at least.

KyKy: Super congrats on the photography thing! If it's really in December instead of January you bet your ass I'm going to come see it!

Shane: Man, you tell such wacky stories on your blog! they always give me a chuckle (thanks, dustin!)

Toni: You have an ass that just won't quit!

Melissa: You're going to change the world fer serious!

Andy: Way to kick ass being in France! I wish I had the balls to do that!

Sis Face: I am so proud of all your academic accomplishments, and you are totally rocking that internship you're totally going to get. Can't wait for you and the Levester to come visit!

Anyone else who reads this: You're special too!

LOVE YOU GUYS!

Don't You Feed Me Lies About Some Idealistic Future

I have been burning comp cds for those of you who have requested them for the last, oh, four hours. Too bad I couldn't stop myself from making more cds while I was burning the existing ones. Those of you receiving this extravaganza in the mail will be averaging 4 comp cds. Happy Thanksgiving!

In other news, I'm ignoring the pile of work next to this screen with all my willpower. Fucking end-of-quarter horseshit.

Why don't you guys ever update regularly? It so hurts my feelings. I'll figure all these links out eventually. Blakckkka-ka-ka

I Want So Badly To Believe; That There is Truth, that Love is Real

So, with the resoundingly supportive response to my venty-ranty post (hahahaha, did you guys even notice? perhaps I should rethink that comments section) I find myself at a loss for who wants comp cds. Now's the time to get em, fresh off the powerbook.

Those will have to be your Xma presents, I'm afraid.

So JD got a letter in the mail from the cops, saying "Congratulations! You passed your orals! If you haven't heard from us in SIX MONTHS you have to reapply."

And that's all it says. So, he's going to go work at Rickenbacher (sp?) making basses instead, which might suit him a little more. At least, that's the plan. We'll see.

I too turned in a huge pain-in-the-ass grant proposal this week, it was nice to see it go and not get an error message when I clicked the submit button. Still to do: round up those elusive letters and take the subject test, vomit sauce.
I have a midterm this coming week, and other than that it's week 7 of a 10 week quarter, holy shit.

Back to the trite bullshit, I see. It's a lot easier than pretending I'm insightful or clever.

I Believe In A Thing Called Love; Just Listen to The Beating of My Heart

Oh yes, I've been in hyper-introspective mode and have been making comp cds. The latest batch (How Can It Be/That We/Defy This Tragedy) is a 3-disc set that all of you will be wanting copies of. I plan to only make comp cds with pretentious titles, from now on. Also, I've been kind of thinking about things in general, and I'm a little annoyed with myself.

On one hand, this is my fucking blog. I rant on it all the damn time. Except lately all I've talked about is "wah, grad school is hard. I went to disneyland for the thirtieth time today. the sunset over the ocean is rad. we don't have weather. i'm being burninated. my neighbors smoke chronic. i have to read a lot. i can't get enough high-end shopping and credit debt. i heart ikea to the point of absurdity." And that's about it. I feel like I'm in school and actually learning shit that's interesting for the first time in my life but it leaves me so cognitively spent that I can't formulate Hazen-esque posts anymore. I took the comment about stooping to the level of blogs that vomit up a synopsis of the day's activities on Shane's blog to heart not because he necessarily offended me, but because it rang too true and I like to categorize myself among the MOST pretentious bloggers; in that I think my random thoughts are important enough to be shared with all cyberspace, rather than my itinerary for the day....I guess they're both pretty fricking pretentious when you think about it...

Anyway. On one hand, it's my blog. It's my space to air whatever grievances I have with whomever I have them with. I should be able to say whatever I want, but I haven't been talking about anything lately and when I do rant, it's always about a certain abrasive someone which I immediately delete after a few hours only to feel dirty about having written and then deleted it. On the other hand, I feel like it's a passive-aggressive, snipey little attempt to say things I should really be saying in a nice concise email instead. Or bottling up inside of me because I lack the courage of my convictions when it comes to risking instigating unnecessary/undesired change. Heraclitus I am none.

I'm stuck in a really reminiscent mode these last few days. Random shit from years ago is popping mercilessly into my head at the strangest times. I miss you guys. Not because I'm way over here and don't get to see people on the weekends anymore, but because we're all so fucking busy that we never talk. And woo, I'm proud everyone's growing up and doing what they need to do to get by and get better, but I miss having everyone I know in the world living within two square miles. I miss carpooling to school in the morning. I miss sleepovers. I miss my skylights. I miss Cleo. I miss being able to walk from my house to Toni's, or to Dairy Queen. I was walking through a big parking lot at Disneyland tonight and it was empty except for like a dozen idling charter buses and I missed marching band (I am such a dork). I miss, not high school, god forbid, but all the shit we/I pulled and got away with. I miss writing notes and sleeping through entire classes. I miss passing Beau in the hallway and slapping hands with him. I miss the total irresponsibility of living in a house I didn't have to pay for, of staying up until 2am and going to school at 7, of sneaking out of my damn house every other night, of what a big deal it was to find out someone was fucking someone else, I miss the drama.

And things aren't exactly boring now, but I miss the constant, never-ending drama of those relationships we all had. I miss breaking into people's houses to steal liquor when we were 15, I miss skipping school to do other things.

It was just such a simple time.

And I talk to everyone now and no one seems totally happy. Not that we ever were in high school, and most of you probably think I'm crazy to miss it at all, but you have to admit we had a good time with a lousy situation. Now we're all doing things young people do to stand on their own two feet and it's just such a ratrace already. I see my friends hunting for jobs, worrying about money all the time, worrying about the future, scrambling to find someone to spend the rest of their life with, scrambling to find someone to sleep with in the meantime, scrambling to adjust to grad school, law school, reality. I still want us all to live in one big house and film my movie. I still want everyone I care about to live within two-square miles.

But then I kind of try to distance myself from the never-ending stressors I feel are present in my own life, and it's weird. It's like I'm always worrying about money, always terrified that JD won't get hired as a cop or anything else and we'll be back in Indiana in a month when my stipend stops paying the bills adequately, always worrying that school will get too hard and I'll get frustrated and quit to become a professional babysitter or something....but when I can hold it all away from me, it's fucking fabulous and I am wildly happy here. I love this school, I love this apartment, I love JD, I love that he and I are stressed out about money but it doesn't get that tense, and we can still make each other laugh. That would absolutely not be possible with any other person I have ever met. I love this area, I love that if I get bored Disneyland is 15 minutes away, the beach is even closer. I thought I would hate not having seasons but it is fucking glove-and-scarf weather tonight and I doubt I'll miss the slushy blizzards the way I assumed I would. I love looking forward to flying home, to having people (anyone who reads this is more than welcome to come visit) come stay with us....my major complaint with all of us is that we're all (me included) just going through the motions. And while high school felt like we were all just enduring it to get to something better at the time, I look back on it now, on all the fucking bullshit that happened, and it makes me smile.

Life is in the details, right? I'm really bad about losing sight of what's important when I'm stressed out, but it struck me yesterday that if I ever DON'T have the luxury of eating lunch in bed with JD while we make fun of Dr. Phil and he makes juvenile fart noises (JD, not Dr. Phil, though I wouldn't be too surprised), I would be supremely miserable for having lost that.

I think it's that I'm too sentimental in general, which probably has a couple of you rolling on the floor laughing to think. When I was little I cried a LOT, and I remember a few instances clearly of my father telling me to stop being a baby and stop crying, while mom would secretly reassure me that I was just "sensitive" and it was ok to cry. But since then, if I felt like crying I would fight it with every fiber of my being. Or cover it up with my trademark (yes it's registered and patent-pending as well) "caustic wit." Or just detach from the whole situation. And how much of everything I've done with my life since he died has been some desperate, half-baked attempt to make him proud of me post-hoc, like if I wasn't the violin prodigy doogie howser kid he wanted when he was around, I could somehow take my fucking resume (or now, I suppose, it'd have to be a vitae) to show him when I die and he'd be reticent-ly pleased with my as his daughter? It's creepy to think about. Like if I can get into Mensa now I can stop feeling like I disappointed him. Fuck, Jenny has the world's worst abandonment issues and I have some sort of overcompensating-for-never-being-good-enough complex that motivates every single action I take and requires me to burn bridges as soon as I sense a closeness fading to avoid the whole messy ending by choice rather than inevitability.

One of my classes deals with some superbly boring stuff, and I was kind of zoning out during the three-hour lecture yesterday, when suddenly the prof was talking about studies done with children who lose a parent at a relatively early age and what happens to them. And this has nothing to do with the course material. But research indicates that these kids are more creative, better adjusted, more ambitious, generally more emminent (however that is supposed to be meant) and have a better outlook on life. No one really knows why. Some kind of coping thing that forces the kids to learn how to deal with pink elephants early or something.

I could posit some fucking interpretations of that data. They all have fucking issues with loss. I would guess that this miraculous "coping ability" that emerges is really an overcompensation or abandonment issue. That all these over-achieving kids are doing so great because they have to be, because there's a little voice in their head telling them it's not good enough to be average.

Then again. Having death shoved in my face so much (there's a long list, ask my mom what family members of hers are left) made me supremely aware of the fleetingness of life. And you guys reading this have had to sit through a bunch of fucking Teresa Lopez-Fitzgerald-Crane-ian diatribes about what I think about fate, and how I feel connected to a lot of you in a way that transcends the fact that I may have known you for a decade. I have real problems letting go of that. I have real, definite problems admiting that people I care intensely about have started sucking irrevocably. I hate change. I can't stand it when I'm close to someone and then I'm not. I can't stand being someone's acquaintance, and dammit if developmental psychology doesn't explain to me why I am the way I am, and why I have such a weird take on friends and acquaintances, and this whole fucking post has come out of the shit I read that unlocks the mysteries of the universe until I realize that I now whole-heartedly agree with something Raedy said last year about development being the closest thing to real science psychology could offer.

There's a reason we're all doing what we're doing. And I don't know how much of my life has to do with making up for things I feel responsible/guilty for and how much of it is that I'm compelled to do something with my life that contributes something in humanity's quest for ultimate truth. But I know I'm bursting with proud-ness for all of you, and I love those of you who have proven yourselves to be real friends more than I could ever express, especially on this fucking pretentious blog.

The tiniest things kill me. And the eternal optimism that everything works out how it should tries to fix it, but isn't enough all the time. I miss a lot of people. I miss qualities that once existed in particular relationships that I can't put into words well enough to not delete that will never be there again. I miss the past every time I think of it, but this day-to-day isn't something I would trade to have it back. Plus, I know I'll be looking back at this charmingly romantic struggling twenty-something college graduate time when no one knows where the grocery money or the minimum payment will come from with fondness once I reach the next stress threshhold, wherever and whenever that will be.

Blehck

I feel all the time like the world is ending, that life is too short to accomplish anything, that if I don't make a conscious effort to tell someone I love them every chance I get that they or I will die and for some reason they will never understand that I cared about them. I feel this ridiculous pull to resist the future because it's uncertain, and no matter where or when I am I would be content to curl up in a time-space-continuum-defying ball and stay there with everything just as it is when I can pinpoint "happy" forever. I would prefer stagnation to turning in circles and wearing out.

I know I sound crazy, and probably pitifully lonely, but I'm not. I'm not upset, I'm not sad. I'm not worried that relationships are failing. Mostly I'm distressed that life is flying by and I think everyone of us stopped noticing.

I love you guys. Lots.

My Name is Liz, I am The Needy, Whiny, Clingy, Annoying, Worthless Friend Who Feels Jilted Unless You Have Five-Hour-Long Phone Conversations with Me on a Bi-Weekly Basis

Oh my god I have no balls.

Important Pregnancy Update

This will explain everything.

You're Not Wrong, Just Misdirected

*The fires here have, if you've not been paying attention, spread to over 40,000 acres; something like 30,000 houses are in imminent danger of being destroyed, San Diego as a whole has shut down, flights are screwy, it's thirty degrees warmer if you drive five miles inland, the ash in the air makes it hard to breathe, the "devil" winds blow the ash in your eyes and I heard earlier that it's been blown in a THOUSAND mile radius of here. Oh, and they're not contained or anywhere close.

*I've become addicted to Sex and the City in the last few weeks, which is on our free-for-now HBO every single night, only to find out that the eight episodes airing in January are the very last ones.

*Grad school got hard. This week. I see no respite from it. Ever.

*JD had his cop interview this morning. He kicked its ass into the stratosphere and it didn't stand a chance. He'll find out sometime in a week or so, keep your fingers crossed. Please, we are desperate for an income.

*If anyone plans to buy either of us birthday or Xmas presents, may I suggest Ikea gift cards, which you can get online, because we have no furniture.

*We've decided to get a cat soon, and if it's a boy we're naming it Atreyu. NO STEALING MY CAT NAME.

*I am getting my ass whipped by grant writing. Also, by pretending to comprehend articles I read about urban planning.

*I am feeling a rather misplaced sense of satisfaction about having "taken care of" credit debt even though I just transferred the balances to another card. Hmmm.

*Anyone want to meet me in Vegas over Thanksgiving? Unless all the roads burn down between now and then. We don't have plans.

*What else? The sky is still fucked up looking. And it looks like the world is ending. Sorry no deep thoughts tonight.

*Once this episode is over it's back to the grindstone.

*How are you all? Busy and productive, I suppose. Call/write/update when there's time.

Liar Liar Forest Fire

Apparently the wildfires that are all over southern California, burning out of control are a fuck of a lot closer to us than I thought. Example: we wake up this morning and our perfect weather is replaced with a yellow, midwestern-tornado-looking sky, ASH falling and coating all the patio furniture and cars, and the sun is RED. The sun is fucking RED. And it's getting continually darker and weirder looking the higher up in the sky the sun goes.

I feel like we're in Pompeii just before the volcano blew and we're too clueless to leave. The news said one of the fires was arson, which is the one that's most out of control. That blows.
Fucking bizzarro land having hundred-degree weather in the desert with zero humidity and "devil winds" which are something I'd never heard of but apparently the Santa Ana winds wreak havoc on this area every year and are seriously possessed by the devil.

Hell, at least it's a little more interesting than the perfect sunny breezy almost-long-sleeve weather we've had since we got here. I feel like I moved to the arctic circle during the neverending daylight season...my internal clock is all fucked up, and the fact that it's nearly November and I'm prancing around during the day in tank tops and occasionally sweating is fucked up. And they say we're having a "heat wave" on top of the "santa ana winds" and that's why it's not getting cooler, but I think it just never changes from being 78 degrees and gorgeous, and it's kind of depressing me. I'm one of those people who really likes winter and coldness and especially fall in Bloomington. Frowny face.

Every time I look over at the window it is actually MORE yellow than the last time. I doubt seriously that a wildfire would burn through the twenty or so miles of pure residential area to get to us and burn our apartment down, but it's freaky that the SUN IS RED.

I'm becoming more and more convinced that California is absolutely going to fall off the face of the planet into the ocean in a few years. This place is beautiful but fucked up.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And their life is better than yours
Damn right, it's better than yours
I could teach you but I'd have to charge

"My milkshake?" Meaning what.

Anyway. I spent all day yesterday glued to four non-consecutive hours of Sex and the City, meeting with my advisor, taking a nap, and accomplishing nothing. JD's cop interview is Monday. He's gonna tear it up, they all already love him (not surprising) and ya'll cross your fingers that he gets it.

Love you guys! (Just in case we burn to death later)

You're Just Designed to Be Fat, Especially With That Attitude

I just had a nightmare in which I woke up at 10:30 and missed my 10am meeting with my advisor. While I was frantically trying to email her to let her know I was on my way and felt like a giant fuck up, I woke up to the alarm going off right at 8:09. What a lame fucking nightmare.

Important Alert


THIS is the absolute greatest thing in the world. Try it. Seriously, the fun will never end.

Did I mention that I say "woof" all the time now? woof.

I have rediscovered that familiar frantic feeling of an impending deadline in the last 24 hours, and although I have no time to be updating this, I am also listening halfway to Passions and waiting for mashed potatoes to be ready to eat, so I'm not going to be productive for a little bit anyway. Woof.

First, what the fuck is all this randomness?Woof.

Also, shout out to everyone who's begun updating, like Dave, Chris, JD, woof, no one else....big thumbs down to the lazy rest of you.

Speaking of lazy and stupid, woof, I just remembered today that Raedy called me the other day and I forgot to call back. I guess I can point the finger of badfriendedness at myself, woof. Sorry Ray Ray, let's have a phone call next time you're not busy. If you're like me, however, you have left the entire NSF application until right this minute. Whoops. Woofs.

So, nothing to say, I just like you all to have something new to look at.

Chris Daniels, are you telling me you're in a FRAT?!?! Woof!

I booked a plane ticket last night; I'll be in Indiana from Dec. 17th through Jan. 6th, start reserving your weeklong cuddle-fest times now!

Despite the fact that you're a vegetarian, you still manage to get pounded like a steak every night, right?

So I'm modifying the game a little. Whereas previously I just wanted you to Identify the Person saying these hilariously non-contextual things, I now want you to determine IF he really said them or if I just made them up. It's going to be hard, I know. Email me your answers, and a fabulous prize goes to the winner....we'll do this for a little while, heh heh heh

In other news, I have done every single thing in my power to avoid doing graduate-level work, and it's caught up to me. I have an assload of catching up to do today, so right after I drop the kids off at the pool get some things down on paper, I can begin working.

All you guys who aren't updating need to get your blogger shit together.

Also, I have a new dorkfest celebration page

So, uh, check that out. Or, don't. It's not so great yet. Maybe if I can find a way to incorporate this blog and that page, ehh, fuck it. Like I said, I've been coming up with any number of projects to distract myself from work.

I Need to Go Get Some Things Down On Paper, and Then I Need To Go To Sleep

Gross, gross, gross. Had you guys ever heard "getting things down on paper" as a euphamism for pooping? Because I hadn't, and I followed up with "oh, what things are you going to write down?"

Naive Little Me.

Also, I did some editing that most of you won't notice. I felt bad.

The contest is still on!

Well, I never read YOUR blog, maybe Ashleigh or Stacey's from time to time, but that's it.

Celeste, welcome to the In-The-Know Club. Not that this is tricky.

****
Anyway. I got my driver's license, the picture has a very very tan-looking me grimacing at the camera operator, hahahaha

We found The beach the other day. It's fucking expansive. It stretches farther than the eye can see, I can't believe we had trouble finding it. Also, it's exactly as you might picture a beach, and the sand here has mica in it, which makes it all glittery and pretty. Also, KyKy, I've heard only good things about Santa Catalina Island, and when you come visit I would DEFINITELY want to go....the travel channel does expos on it all the time. On Oprah today, Op drank a $650 martini, made with Napoleon's private reserve cognac mixture, affiliated with Corvoisier, which is served in the country ONLY at one restaurant here in gorgeous Newport Beach. hahahahahahah there are so many rich people here.

I have big plans for decorating this apartment once there's an influx of money. BIG plans.
Also I have reading to do. Lots. For some reason, this week, I'm finding it hard to get really motivated, even though now I have a better idea of what I need to be doing. It's pathetic. But, the feeling that I didn't want to be doing this has gone away, so that's at least better.

I just like feeling self-important by talking about absolutely nothing all the time. And doing anything to avoid articles when I don't want to read them. Or don't want to draft a research proposal. Or don't want to work on group projects. Or don't want to go to the grocery. Or don't want to hear my neighbors fucking. Or smoking pot. Or saying loudly, "This ain't weed, boy, it's CHRONIC"

Sooooo. There's not even good tv on tonight to distract me appropriately

I had a dream this morning as I was trying to wake up in which I was being imprisoned for a certain amount of time per day in a jail, and I can remember various people who were my jailkeepers. Man. I haven't wanted to touch that symbolism all day.

Poo. I need to go smarten myself up.

On a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, I'd say you're about a seven. Maybe seven point five

Ok, guys, there's too much fodder for my title game. It'll never end if I don't kill it now. Stacey was right on. So, I'll just sum it up:
I promise you I have plenty to keep me busy in grad school. They don't just pay me to lie on the beach and look pretty 7.5ish.

Clearly, my biggest issue is with being called a "7.5"

Oh hey, what's up? I'm just stuck in traffic and I thought, "Hey, there's someone I should call....(pause)" but Alicia wasn't home so I called you instead

Yeah, Celeste, sorry, but your guess "quotes from JD" in response to my title game is incorrect. Stacey already emailed me and got it, and despite this I am going to keep playing it until I run out of offensive things a particular person has said to me. Tonight's quote comes from earlier today.

Also, Celeste, don't be scared of the GRE...you just need to give yourself time to learn as many vocab words as you can stand, that's the worst part of it. The 5 year program is a GREAT idea and you should totally do it

Ok, can't think in sentences:

*Disneyland has decorated the Haunted Mansion to look like The Nightmare Before Christmas and redid most of the ride, and it's the COOLEST thing ever

*I received another credit card in the mail today. I promptly switched my other card balances to the new one and then took it shopping.

*Some of you (not all) will be insanely jealous to hear that I have Big Plans tomorrow to drive my ass an hour to Palm Springs to hit up THE supposed greatest outlet mall in the world. I've just got to check all this shit out for you guys so when you come visit it'll be smooth sailing

*School's good. Great, actually, I feel like I'm starting to adjust instead of just sitting through things

*I went running for the first time since I got here yesterday. Ouch. Found a nice long path right here, it's going to take me awhile to be able to run 2.7 miles without complaining

*JD passed Phase One of the cop thing, apparently the hiring process takes 4-6 weeks minimum, and he's got board interviews later in the month. Until then, I'll continue my cycle of hoarding money, freaking out about money, then binge spending in fits of credit amnesia. I wonder, can you "binge" spend over the course of an entire weekend instead of just once?

*Oh goodness, I need to get to sleep so I can wakey wakey bright and early


So, like its clear to you from this post, I am not exciting. Except I like California more and more everyday, and you would too if you moved here. I promise there are jobs for those of you with specialized degrees. Oh, not flight degrees. Those jobs don't exist. But others.

Yeah love to my HOOOOOMIES

Yeah, she walks around with no shirt or bra on all the time in the apartment. (Dramatic Pause)...It's Awesome

So, I was delighted to wake up this morning to the fresh air coming through the bedroom windows, and also the sounds of a TINY ASIAN GIRL GETTING VICIOUSLY PORKED


yep, the neighbors have added to their repertoire not only smoking pot ALL THE TIME on the PATIO but now, once all but the two fornicators have left for school, this is, remember, EIGHT AM, THEY FUCK SUPER LOUDLY.

Like, I had to drag JD closer to the window before he would believe that it wasn't "a chihuahua getting stepped on over and over."

It was the most ungodly sound, shattering the morning stillness of the entire neighborhood like an unexpected catfight. And MAN, that girl was....not a screamer, not a moaner, but some kind of weird yelper just as any of us might stereotypically expect


And the worst, the absolute creepiest part is that I knew, immediately, which of the never-ending parade of visitors this particular girl was, and she is the same girl who sat outside my window on the curb with a lame ass boy who was obviously trying to mack on her just the other day, but as JD and I were leaving the two fuckers were also leaving, clearly both had just gotten out of the same shower, and it was a DIFFERENT guy.


Or so we think. I was thinking it would be really fun to go down there and be like "so, you guys have fun fucking this morning? Could you save the yelping dog noises for maybe a little later in the day?" and just see what kind of violent confrontation between the two roommates fighting over fucking this little asian girl erupts.

Funny stuff, man. It was obvious they had waited until the instant the other roommates left....little did they fucking bother to consider the fucking open windows...I am so relieved I don't have small children who may have heard and been disturbed by that.

Also, keep on paying attention to my blogging titles, as there is a new theme linking them all, and I might offer a prize to the person who can guess it and express it best, in a few days.

BWAHAHAHA

I'm Going to Go Home to My Live-In Girfriend That I Fuck and Then Drive Legally to Places That Can Serve Me Alcohol, Legally

Jesus, people.

I know you guys can't see the Never-Ending Parade of Gubernatorial Delusion out there in Indiana, but it's grating on my nerves. Now Arnold's a fucking sexual predator and excuse the fuck out of me, but I find it HIGHLY convenient that this only comes to light once the Feminazis find themselves losing the oh-so-clever "Terminate the Terminator" campaign. I just want to smack these fucking women who martyr themselves in the name of Wymyn Pywyr in the last seconds of this tired-ass political bullshit and you know what, even if it happened (and who among us hasn't had someone be like "hey baby nice ass" when we didn't necessarily ask for it? Stace, remember that Taco Bell guy? Melissa, that crotch-grabber at your birthday party? Ashleigh, you probably get it more often than you can count?) it couldn't be more OBVIOUS that this was something they sat on, biding their martyr time, waiting until he'd "won" the "big" debate and was entering the home stretch, and then BLAMMO, he's a sexual predator. Christ, I'm so disgusted with the politics of it all that I can't figure out what the lesser eveil is. and the political ads on tv haven't let up all week.

Sweet god.

School's good, it looks like in general I'll have five days a week I don't have to be around on campus, I'll be reading but not visible, and that's cool. I'm killing myself the last couple days trying to come up with a brilliant fucking study to use for three different things I need, and my pathetic defecit in the literature that currently exists is presenting quite a problem. We'll see.

Everything's pissing me off, most notably money. There seems to be no end in sight to our money troubles, as we're still holding our breth to hear about potential jobs for Jamison. Yeah, Cody Jamison is his actual given name. "Given" meaning "what his mom calls him for apparently no reason except to amuse the hell out of me." But in the same breath, she calls me "Lizubeth"

Hahahahah, I was going to book a nice plane ticket this month but there's no money. I am so hyperventilating about it that I'm crazed with worry all the time and it's annoying and I can't concentrate on anything else. I think I need to go to the doctor and get some nice valium

anyway, god knows I don't want to bore Shane with this factual update, so I'll just come back when I have a nice screenplay to post, or can think of a rant to top JD's latest.

And In the Darkness Bind Them

First day of classes. Yeah, my one class today kicked ass. Yeah, if this is any kind of indicitive thing about grad school (to be pronounced "grad school like they say "where'd you learn that? drug school?" in Super Troopers from now on) then I shall be quite content. It's a whole new world from undergrad already, where not only are you expected to do a shitload of work, but you're also required to participate actively and intelligently in all discussions, otherwise how would a three-hour class consisting of only six people and a professor survive the entire time...but it's really cool.

So, tomorrow's my other class, and it'll be completely diffferent, as it's ten times the size of this one and we have a group project to do, etc. Should still be cool, I hope. We shall, heh heh heh...see. I've heard really good and really bad stuff about it, no medium

Also, our fucktard downstairs neighbors have introduced themselves to the fucktard diagonally downstairs from us who's always yelling into his celly on the patio and they've of course hit it out of the park....JD claims to have overheard them going "yeah and that one blond girl you invited over yesterday, DUUUDE" and I'm not surprised. The two towers of retardation are uniting

Also, if my name were Jenny or Ashleigh I would start checking the mail in 2-3 business days from right now

Also, in a trip to the post office this afternoon I re-discovered this tea shop that's the tastiest stuff in the world. I want you guys to come visit just to try it. I had strawberry iced tea with milk today, mmmm-mmmm.

What else. I have a buttload of reading to do from now on. Like, imagine a huge shitpile. Now triple that

Jd pooped himself all day today.

Skippy Lou The Perky Rabbit

If my name was Ashleigh or Jenny I would be anxiously checking the mail in the next week for belated birthday presents that are a clear example of Liz's Inability to Manage Money. Enjoy, ya'll. I have homework to do tonight so I can't yakk for long. Yeah, class starts tomorrow and I have homework today. What a way to kick things off.

So all weekend I've been plagued with this intense, irrational fear that I don't want to do this after all. I'm thinking it will go away once I settle into things, and jesus christ I haven't even had a class yet. But there's something intimidating about grad level courses, nothing I can't handle, so it's not that it'll be difficult that's bugging me, I think it's a really deep unsure-if-I really-want-this feeling. Don't worry, I'll probably squelch it promptly, but it's been throwing me for a loop.

I don't really know what it is. Everything here's cool. It's just such a huge undertaking. Fuck it, nevermind.

I had a dream this morning that I was in my old house in Newburgh, upstairs, frantically packing books from the shelves by the bathroom into boxes because I was supposed to be moving that day and hadn't done anything. As I was doing this, the intercom on the wall started talking, and it was picking up a weird radio station but it was my dad's voice. I could tell it was him but I couldn't understand what he was saying, so I ran to the top of the stairs and sure enough, his upper body was materializing in the air. He looked healthier than I can ever remember him being, and younger and fatter, but it was definitely him. And I ran over and hugged him and yelled "daddy" or something and then the dream gets fuzzy and I'm sure here he told me all the secrets of the meaning of life....and then Jenny was there and I told her I'd seen him and she didn't believe me so I pulled her over to the top of the stairs, right where we sat the night he died and watched him get wheeled out of the house on a stretcher, and as we stared down at the front door a pair of feet and legs materialized, and we freaked out, knowing it was him, and that is all of the dream I remember. I Include the morbid details because they were things that occurred to me specifically in the dream, while I was dreaming. Oh, and at the beginning of the dream I was looking at one specific book that my aunt (you won't be the first dr. davis in the family) had given me, and she'd pasted a tiny photo of my dad in full concert pianist attire to the inside cover, and had written something to the effect of: since you won't have to move again until you're 35, it's not too bad



Today I feel a lot better about my life choices. I wonder what that means.

Probably it means that I am PMSing and things are making me crazy. Some of us, however, would like to believe something better.

These Were Days When My Heart Was Volcanic

Yeah, shut up. When I DO post regularly no one cares. When I don't do it for a week, I get shit on from all directions.

So, lots to talk about

Orientation was this week, I'll just jump right in and say IT WAS AWESOME...rather, it was WAAAAAAY cooler than I'd ever let myself hope it could be, and even the Dreaded Teaching Assistant Training (two solid days and I don't even TA this year) was almost fun. The incoming psych (PSB from here on out, OK?) class is 13 people, all of whom are decently cool and everyone's friendly and the TA training was with all of SE and that's like 50 something incoming people, and a LOT of them are really cool. I'm thrilled, I can't explain how fucking different it is from IU and the people are different but much nicer and I don't know if it's just graduate school and that's the way it is now, or if everyone just happens to be cool, but I was blown away.

Icebreaker games were FUN. Yeah, and we sure as hell did a lot of them. I still don't think I ever want to teach, I think I'll suck balls at it, but now I know what to expect and what it entails. Sucked that I was still pretty stuffy and sniffly all through it, but whatev

Also I had SE orientation and PSB orientation, all of which was good. I'll be taking two classes per quarter until the end of the 2nd year or so, and that's fucking fabulous. I'm looking forward to stuff starting on Monday and to having class two days a week, to being busy all the time, to doing research and maybe busting my ass to write up a grant or something, who knows. I can't believe it's almost October.

Stace, I zonked out last night and thusly didn't call you back. If you read this in the next few hours you can call me, but I think it's late there...I'll call you tomorrow

There's more, but I can never remember it once I've let this go for so long...and that's bad but I'm not feeling like really typing. I hope you guys are all doing great....JD has the cop thing TOMORROW, as last Saturday's bureaucratic red tape prevented him from having it then....wish him luck, and I'll be around if anyone wants to chat. Unless I'm reading my homework for Monday, prowling around campus, or at the gym place thing.

Yeah. And I just got home from Disneyland, hooo-ray.

GOULET

Octember 35th, 2008

Hey, Happy Birthday Ashleigh!!! Have a good time doing whatever you're planning on doing today.

I have a terrible head cold thing that is preventing me from breathing properly. I think it might be allergies but unfortunately I threw out all the allergy medicine I had when we moved (mostly it was expired) and don't have anything to take. I thought cutting up an onion would help but it just made me cry, so now I'm sniffling even more. Also, I've had a headache for the last few days. I'm blaming this on us having an awesome bed but as of yet, no awesome pillows to go with it, as they're extremely late in getting here.

So, not to sound like I'm whining, but I don't feel good, and there's nothing worse than feeling sick when it's gorgeous outside. Also, JD and I have to go back to the DMV again today and finish (hopefully) everything up for good. Jesus. My driver's license picture is the most unfortunate thing...I smiled all big and fake until he counted to 3 but then immediately relaxed my face, and THEN the flash went off, so it's me looking like a monster with my mouth agape. Sigh.

my head is completely full of snot, I am convinced.

I'm starting to mentally think through all the things I'm going to have to do this semester, and coursework aside, it's daunting. But it's all really important. I'm nervous about everything. I'm nervous about classes, about projects, about TA training, about meeting people, about JD's cop thing tomorrow, about money, about my ability to be successful at this...when I'm lazy and bored (as I have been for the entire summer now) I get really second-guess-y.

Anyway. I have some catching up with email to do tonight, and I'm sure I'll talk to some of you soon.

Who You Been Fucking? Travis?

Hahahahaha. For those of you who haven't yet cracked and spent your last few cents on the 3rd season Mr. Show dvds, it's time to get cracking. Funnnnnny. fuuuuuh huh nny.

So, I'm in a nutrition coma right now, as JD and I just gorged ourselves on nearly two pounds of fruits and veggies. Ok, all the materialism and rich people and traffic aside, I couldn't be more delighted to find that ALL fruit is tastier than anything you've even imagined. And oranges, in particular, (we're in orange county, go figure) are scrumtrillescent. Also good: strawberries, kiwi, peaches, bananas, insert your favorite fruit here. and the best part? It's CHEAP as shit to buy produce, and exotic fucking produce, and shitpiles of it....and the spinach is never dirty or shitty looking, and they sell ten pound bags of Basmati rice for six bucks....jesus, I couldn't care less if I never buy anything processed again.

I think they basically have some kind of deal with the state that makes healthy food cheap and junk food more expensive, so the beaches are prettier. Ha, ok so that's JD's theory.

But shit, guys. It's the most delicious produce I've ever tasted. And fucking smoothies, mmmmm.

So I'm getting STILL more familiar with the area, and Huntington Beach has become another reason for you guys to want to come visit. Plus, it's way closer than I thought based on the map. Hahahahahahaha, too many beaches to pick from.

Also, I can't say enough good and bad things about the shopping here. Good in most things, bad in that I think the richies are on to us not having any money. Sigh. I have big plans for shopping once we have money.

Speaking of reasons we don't have any, the bed is fabulous, the best thing ever. The pillows still aren't here, which annoys me, but I would expect they'll come tomorrow.

We tried to go to the DMV again, but this time they told us we needed birth documents, which of course are in Indiana, so we'll have to get them tomorrow and then go wait in line all day Tuesday. And I have to come up with a five minute speech, basically, for the TA training thing next week. Any suggestions?

Ok, so. I'm going to go watch the Sopranos and then Sex and the City and then possibly go jogging, as this is the safest area in the country and everything is fabulously well-lit.

Love and smooches!

All The Shyness That Is Criminally Vulgar

So Passions was playing some pretty hardcore old school music today, including that Garbage song on the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack and a remix of that weird Love Spit Love song that probably only Jenny remembers to set the mood for Teresa slutting all over Fox, what a clever girl she is

Got a smog check today, and the bed came. And that's my plans for the evening.


"Sweet Dreams" (by Eurythmics)
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused


Which 80's Song Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla

That Dog Won't Hunt

Hey Guys

You'll all be relieved to know that we did NOT, in fact, die this weekend at Disneyland, where we happened to be, but weren't on, Big Thunder Mtn. when it derailed and hurt/killed a bunch of people. Needless to say my mom somehow heard about it and immediately assumed JD had been killed, while that's not exactly funny it's not UN funny.

In other news, nothing.

I've updated some of my links/some of my blogging settings, hope you enjoy. Also, there are some new pics posted, not on Liz's miserably failed Photo Blog, but on my Yahoo photos page....because they're digital I had to delete practically everything else from the page, so have fun with those. I'm going to have to find a better way to do photos on here. Without, of course, upgrading to something that costs money.

It's weird being so much earlier than you guys.

Yeah.

Like You Was Just Another Shorty That I Put the Naughty On

So, more lists? Good idea.

Guys, I don't know how well it came across in that posty, but I like it A LOT here. Jesus.

Some interesting things have happened.
I woke up this morning with another fucking tension headache pounding against the side of my head and was so frustrated by the thing that I cracked, called Tempur-pedic, and (teehee) ordered a bed. JD threw a parade. Luckily, my credit is SO stellar that we don't have to do shit until the three month grace period is up, by which time we'll be "rolling in the dough" unless, god shield, something prevents that from happening.

So add that to the list of giant (Giant-o Baby) purchases that are sneaking away with chunks of my credit line as we spin our wheels for another few weeks waiting for the stipend and the job to kick in.

I did all sorts of adult things last night with the internet (not adult like porn), like opened a checking account (have you guys ever heard of bank of america?) and changed all my billing addresses and checked the dmv website to learn, to my dismay, that we need to have our vehicles SMOG certified before we think about registering them here, which is going to be a super see duper pain in the ass

Oh Celeste, I read your blog, you're always more than welcome to visit, anytime....and that goes for everyone....it doesn't have to be a spring break thing, you can come on a fricking weekend if you want....I only have CLASS Monday and Tuesday (though the responsibilities of a grad student are vastly extensive) so probably if you come visit even during the week we'll be able to shop it up like mad.

Speaking of shopping it up like mad, I did more online research and found a couple of malls within driving distance (meaning ten minutes from here). This may be hard to believe, but there aren't so many visible "malls" here, there are all these Hugemongous Shopping Centers that are mostly outdoors and ungodly nice, but I can't find stores like AE and Old Navy. Which, until I have enough money to shop exclusively at Banana Republic and Jimmy Choo, are my bread and butter. So I found these two malls, the first one we went to sucked balls, the other one (which is much closer) is the fucking Nicest Mall I've Ever Seen. There are stores of designer/brand names I didn't even realize had stores. No, Old Navy wasn't in there. My mind is still reeling from the niceness of it, and from the hilarity of me walking around in a dirty tee shirt with a big cartoon lobster waving at you that says New Orleans. Hahahahaha. Anyway, guys, it's a fabulous mall. And right by the Ikea store, hahahahah.

Good lord I can hear the materialisticness seeping in. Oh wait this is pure self-indulgent boredom for the next couple weeks and after that my life belongs to research. Fuck it, I can be all doe-eyed and lame about this. Also there is a Sanrio store with a new Hamburger character called Dokidoki Yummychums, which sent me into fits of giggles.

So then we were there forever and then found YET ANOTHER huge shopping plaza with cool stuff, and I can't wait for you guys to come see this. Ash and Stace, you will have no problem finding jobs here. Stace, I swear to god, rich people eat nothing but pastries.

I got cold tonight walking around outside. Cold. It's fucking September.

I'm getting ready to have something structured to do. It's nice to have nothing but buckets of time to dick around and go to Disneyland every day (you guys think I'm kidding?) and play phone tag with my sister and pick out furniture and wish I had money to clothes-shop and find my way around but I've had basically nothing to do all summer and it's wearing thin.

I'm so excited that we're getting a bed. I'm so excited all the time. This place kicks so much ass, and while I miss you guys like crazy, I don't feel any further away than I did when I lived in Bloomington and you all didn't. And I have yet to get crazy or homesick, which is good. I'm extremely freaked about money, but since we're holding our breath until that goes away, there's not much I can do. Just keep racking up the credit debt and hoping I can pay it off quickly.

However, all things considered, it wasn't that bad, and utilities are reasonable and this place is so nice I'd pay more for it....and it's not like I can ever be bored.

So anyway.

Tomorrow we're going to Disney again. But the California Adventure part, not the Disneyland part. Until we decide to switch. Goddamn, this is too much fun. You guys should all seriously move here. It's the fucking happiest place on earth.

COME VISIT

Smoochies!