I'm Foolish, I Don't Do This

I had a dream where Jenny and I were fighting, seriously fighting, and I was in danger of losing and then something in my head was like "Use your hapkido training, idiot" and I put her in a half turn and won the day. Weird.

I'll be home later tonight, probably not until after 9. Calllllllll me

Check out the new links. I don't have anything to say. JD made me watch Mickey Blue Eyes last night. Yuck. I don't understand his Hugh Grant fetish. I'm in the lab. I have so much I should be doing. Fine, I'll go in a minute. sheesh. Just check out the new links. Hahahahaha. I'll fix some of them soon.

Lovies to you guys

I'd also like to echo ashleigh's ebola-induced mooshiness, and say that I love you guys and don't get to hang out with you nearly enough....so hopefully we'll all see much more of each other all summer, and then you'll realize that chicago to LAX is a cheap, sweet ride mama

Yeah, I'll come pick you up from LAX. No problem.

I'm an ele-friend

Mmm, what a productive day. I got up early and took a shower and went to the lab and ran an experiment and went to lunch with Gabe and Emily and coded half my data and came home and went to club and got my ass beat doing rollouts and now my muscles are all shaking and it's awesome and i'm eating fake meat dinner and watching a crappy Friends rerun and that Beyonce song has been in my head ALL DAY and I have no plans for tonight except to do something awesomely fun and great, like go see a bad movie or something

In other news, JD ordered me Muzzy from ebay, which for those of you who weren't in Mrs. Wells' french classes, was always the best part about the french language.

JE SUIS MUUUUUUU-ZZZZZY, je suis GRAAAAAAAND


je suis Corrrrvax. Je suis MALIN! MALIN MALIN MALIN! J'ai mange les montresssssss


JE SUIS BELLE!!!!!! A E I O U je t'aime! IAUOE tu m'aimes!

Fuck, that's awesome

Yeah, you guys can watch it too. I am so exicted for it to get here. Also, I'll be in town starting tomorrow evening at some time. Let's tear it up.

Your Fantasies Are Unlikely. But Beautiful

This is the message that was left on our answering machine yesterday morning: (Raedy had changed the message to say "if you're calling about the free mattress, it is already gone. If you're calling for Raedy, Melissa, Liz, or JD, leave a message after the beep.")

Woman: (through obviously gritted teeth) If the mattress is gone, then I suggest you MORONS take it out of the paper


THIS IS THE SAME LADY THAT CALLED TO HARRASS JD AS MENTIONED IN PREVIOUS POST.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, LADY, GET A HOBBY AND FORGET OUR PHONE NUMBER


What an absolute cunt. And let's think this through: She had to get the paper, see the same ad she'd seen the day before that had pissed her off so bad, seen that it was the SAME PHONE NUMBER listed, and decided to call anyway. I'm guessing that she just wanted to call and bitch at us for not having taken it out the day before. And honestly, I should've called Saturday and cancelled it, but didn't get around to it. Ha. But she called just to bitch at us. What a fucking loser.

And, a little scary, on account of her having our phone number.
God, caller ID, I miss you.

I am sleepy as shit, and am going to bed. Just wanted to say hey, and also that our internet has been fucking up massively, and usually now no one can get on it anytime during the day. So I've been scarce, but if it doesn't work itself out I'll blow up the building, which is in our backyard.

So. goodnight.

Heart-Shaped Box

I just don't GET people sometimes. Here is a transcript of an actual, real phone conversation that JD had this morning. I put a classifed ad in the Bloomington paper for a free full size mattress and box spring that started Saturday and would run until Tuesday. Since we were giving it away free, it was gone by 10am Saturday. However, people keep calling because we haven't bothered to call and cancel the ad yet. So, maybe we deserve this:

*Riiiiing, Riiiiing*
JD: Hello?
Woman: Hi, I'm calling about the mattress you're giving away
JD: Actually, we already gave it away
Woman: (furious) When?
JD: (lying) Yesterday
Woman: Then why was your phone off the hook all day yesterday?
JD: The phone wasn't off the hook yesterday
Woman: I called every hour on the hour yesterday cuz I wanted that bed, this is BULLSHIT
*hangs up phone*

WHAT?!?


Also, other things that are just mysterious to me:
How is buying clothes off ebay any diffferent than buying clothes at a thrift store? Get off my dick.
How does it make sense to ask to see someone's directions and then, instead of copying them down for yourself, say "oh i'll just ask someone where I'm going when I get close."
Heart-shaped box, quack quack. I don't get it.
Jd bought Jakob the Liar, Mickey Blue Eyes, and Tigerstrike on dvd last night. I don't get it.
How are you going to hate me for a year and a half and then wanna hang out. It makes no sense.


Not that I'm complaining about any of this, mind you. I think it's all amusing and quirky and I love it.

It's just an observation.

Now, I had a fabtastic weekend, Toni and Stace and Melissa E. came through here and stayed Thursday on their way to the wedding, that was awesome. And then the next day, Ashleigh came up and Chris did too, and we saw the Hulk (it was just ok, in my non-dork opinion), and then the next day Chris and Kristen went to valpo and Ashleigh and JD did my study (thanks, guys!) and we dicked around and then rented movies and bought alcohol and basically did nothing. And pumpernickel bread and cheesecake. And I think I messed up Ashleigh's blog. Whoops. Thanks for coming up guys, that was totally fun and rad. I'll probably be coming home next weekend again, I don't know if it'll be during the week or not.

Other cool stuff:

I bought my own Crest Whitestrips.
I'll be finished with running my study today, and hopefully I'll meet with the profs and they'll tell me exactly what to do.
I burned a bunch of cds that Ashleigh had that I didn't.
JD's friend is going to put my name in the system so I can go to the HPER without having to pay to go to the HPER. Cross-trainer, here I come again!
My kunja paper is due Thursday. Wait, that isn't cool at all.


Ok, that's enough boring shit. In a minute here I'm gonna get up and eat a delicious fake meat sausage patty and get dressed and go to work, and then club and then the HPER and then who knows what. I'm definitely not ever spending money again, though. I am so fucked in that department.

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY

IMPORTANT UPDATE FOR MY THIEVING LITTLE SISTER

It's one thing to steal my Crest Whitestrips that mom gave to ME when I walked in the door, it's another thing entirely to BRAG ABOUT STEALING THEM ON YOUR BLOG.

CUT THE SHIT, SISFACE

I'm pissed.

Singing You To Shipwreck

See Shane's comments sections for non-ironic commentary, those of you who would choose to mock my homage to the new Radiohead

Now. It was quite a weekend.

Stanley Clarke Friday was awesome. Highlights of the show, which was not very crowded, included the Worst People In The World. I was surprised that they could all make it to the show, and that they had an interest in coming in the first place. But, there they were, standing right in front of us, air-guitaring their way through the performance, missing the point and the irony in his not having any guitars on stage, missing the point and the irony in their mullet-shaking rain dance at the encore, missing the sheer bad-assitude of the caliber of musicians he brought with him. The hilarity of the guy who not only air-guitared, but air-upright bassed, air-drummed, air-VIOLINED, and air-keyboarded all the parts, for the entire show, and did I mention that he didn't KNOW the parts, so he just "air-rocked out" to whichever he felt like mimicking. He was a fucking laugh and a half, and with his thinning hair, business-man-who-shops-at-TJMaxx clothing, and "blinging" wristwatch, I almost died laughing when he did a really (so so cool) cool head-bobby thing that involved looking to one side, bobbing head three times, turning to other side, bobbing head three times, ad infinitum, all without any semblance of rhythm or timing.

Also, there was a guy who was there with his "christian bible study group buddies" who had the worst laugh in the world. I shall just have to demonstrate it for you soon.

Also, Patrick was there. And that is always an awesome thing.

Speaking of, 5 weeks to black belt test. Yipes.
That reminds me, I am going to have to type fast so I's can get running before it is total darkness. Cause I really like to go when it's gloaming.

So, after that, JD and I came home, ate a lot of Taco Bell, and reflected on how cool we are. Then Raedy came home, took misleading pictures of us looking dorky and posted them on her photoblog so it looks like we have no life. Not the case.

Saturday we got up at ass-o-clock and I immediately tried to pretend we didn't have to wake up, and instead could sleep all day, but there was a wedding to go to (yes, that's right, sometimes people actually invite me to weddings) in Evansville so we had to leave. And I was tired, but I've found out two importnat things lately:

A. When you're tired, or you can't wake up, and usually if you have a headache, caffeine will fix it.
B. When you're running and you get a cramp, you should breathe in through your nose and it will subside.

So we go to the wedding, me wearing my lovely brown burlap sack dress (you're not supposed to look more awesome than the bride, I hear) and it's kind of fun, kind of lame, kind of over and done with fast, JD and I sat with Herndon, whose weiner you can see on my photoblog, and he was funny. Except he slapped at everyone walking down the aisle past him. So he was smacking the ringbearer and the mother of the groom, pretending to grab her boob, and while hilarious, this goes on a mental list of Things I Wish to Avoid for My Wedding. Other things on that list include: people not attending because I am a homophobe (i'm not, so that one basically takes care of itself), anything that involves a tanning bed, a ringbearer punching key wedding party members in the balls (if he were drunk that'd be yet another radiohead reference), lipstick, yellow flowers, fried meat salad buffets, and no free wine.

I leave early so I can go to Stacey's and then to Chris D's graduation party, and Ashleigh meets up with us, and it's a good time. Except I put my foot in my mouth unintentionally, but then everyone thought it was on purpose, so to save face let's just go with that I meant to do it, exactly as it happened, and I congratulate myself for executing that scheme so cleverly.

Whoops. Oh the fuck well. What can you do, you know?

So that was fun, if a little tense at times. I felt like a few of us were strategically positioning ourselves in certain ways, but since this cannot get more specific than that, I will leave it to your imagination. And no, not positioning oursleves like sexually.

Then Ashleigh drove me to her house, and I met the new puggy, and thought about stealing her, because she is the cutest thing I have ever seen. And then we went to my mom's, where Jenny took some quick pictures of me and mom looking sad, but we couldn't stop laughing, I think because we both felt retarded pretending to be sad, and she got pissed. Also, I kept moving and ruining picctures, although that was not intentional.

Then I changed and we went back to Chris's house, to play full-contact volleyball, and I suck at sports. and then things spiraled out of hand when Stacey and Toni for no reason, totally unprovokedly attacked me with cold water, and to defend myself I had to chase them around the yard until they had thoroughly soaked me and you could see my undies through my pants. Ha, thanks guys. then that made me want (a hot dog REAL bad) to go swimming, so we sat around arguing over what to do, and by arguing here I mean that Stacey and Melissa got into a fist fight, and then Chris and I had to choke them into submission and tie them to their chairs. And then Chris' friend Curtis stood up and announced to everyone's shock and awe that he is, in fact, gay. And then Dave Halstead smiled and told Chris he smelled pretty. And then we all got naked and played twister.

So I just remembered that EVERYONE who may conceivably read my blog was there. Why detail it in reality when I could just make shit up?

Then some of us DID go swimming, and it was cold as fuck but really fun, and since I haven't been swimming with Chris since The Poiseidon Incident, it brought back some fond memories of me almost drowning my sorry ass in the Atlantic.

And Ashleigh's boobs looked the best they've ever looked in that Hofstra Law School t-shirt. Chris let us swim in his clothes. Ten bucks says he never washes any of them, and instead puts them under his pillow at night. hahahahahahahaha. Kyle taught me how to make a "whirlpool" bubble effect (not by farting, grow up). And Ashleigh did flips. And we swam like "mermaids."

Fun fun fun.
Then I went home, and had the most unrestful sleep of my life. Then the phone rang, and it was Stacey, and we went to lunch with everyone at Shyler's. Then JD and I drove Stacey to Louisville and then came back to Bton. yes, a little out of the way, but so so worth it since I love Stacey, I know she does favors for me, and she thanked me. So so nice to get a nice, heartfelt "thanks" from people you like every now and then.
Hahahaha.

Anyway, this devolved into a thousand hour post, I am going running.

Brush the cobwebs out of the sky.

Goodbye Pork Pie Hat

Check out this.

It's nothing too cool yet, but it's going to be awesome in a little bit. Enjoy!

To Put The World To Rights

Uhm, I don't know if I like Blogger's new updating page. It's confusing and new, and ugly and a weensy bit hard to navigate. In that I haven't bothered trying to navigate it yet, and I didn't want to have to learn anything today.

I had a dream yesterday morning in which I was Storm from X-Men. This is hilarious enough, but then you add to it the observation that the other two people in my dream were Keith and Seiji, also both X-Men, one of whom was Wolverine and one of whom was a good guy turned horribly bad, and the humor factor trebles itself. Hahaha. I wish I could remember more about it, but it was one of those super long ones that you keep going back to every time you hit snooze, and the three of us were in an old building, fighting something.

I'll mention again here that I'll be home this weekend, early Saturday or extremely late Friday, but I doubt we'll come home Friday. Probably Stanley Clarke will be too mind-blowingly awesome for us to think about driving to Eville after, and I'm looking forward to it, now that I've kind of started liking shows again. Plus, the Bluebird is ridiculously awesome, and those of you who haven't yet come up for Hairbanger's Ball have been missing out. There is still time, though, so don't fret.

JD and I have been discussing the possibility of going to visit his friend Andy next spring, when Andy will be living in France. Neither of us think that Andy will actually come back to Indiana when he is finished with his exchange program thing, and while that's for the best, it will suck for him to live that far away. So, we started talking about going to visit, and plane fares to Paris (via Amsterdam, no less) are not nearly as bad as I'd thought. So, that's another thing we can plan to save up money for, and that would kick so much ass...Andy will live in Cahn (I think that's the spelling) which is in Northern France, somewhere near the coast and near Paris. And he'll be in classes, so we'd have to take the train all over the country to amuse ourselves while he was busy. I have a mental list of places in France I simply must see at some point in my lifetime, and it would be awesome to be visiting someone there.

Anyway, we'll see how much that pans out.

We have also decided that our bed, being the most uncomfortable thing in the world, has to go. We've been sleeping on the floor on some egg crate for a few days now, and it's much better. I don't know what we're going to do....continue sleeping on the floor or suck it up and eventually buy a decent bed...

OK, this is more boring than I intended it to be....Stace, I'll be home this afternoon because I am not planning on going to the lab, so let's have a phone call if you read this:) Everyone else, I'll hopefully get to see you this weekend. Chris, I'll try my best to come by your party, but I don't know if or how long I can get away from the wedding.


Love you guys! Smooches!

Important Memo for the Weather: Stop sucking, bastard, I'm too cheap to buy a HPER membership and the lightning is off-putting when you can't go run until it's pouring. Stupid fucking waste of a day

I don't have much to say, just wanted to

A. whine about the rain, which I normally wouldn't mind in the slightest, but I CAN'T go indoors to get my endorphin fix these days and it's just a little irritating

B. Point out to Raedy that I've now fixed my posties that alluded to her fucking a researcher, now they are wholly untraceable and if you go back and look you'll probably skim right over them, because I have cleverly changed their names

C. Make a heartfelt plea to my sister to give me the emails of her friends who "agreed" to do my study so I can try to contact them. Please. It doesn't do much good until someone talks to them about it

D. State again for the record that I like the new Radiohead.

E. I also like the cd of my dad's recordings that JD made me

F. I have a nice new Glamour magazine I need to go peruse.

Later, sluts.

OH MY GOD STOP SUCKING, BLOGGER

That's So Gay-ven

Have you guys seen this Disney show? That's so Raven? In which that girl from the Cosby Show Raven Whatever plays a typically-developing junior high school student with the white girl and black chubby boy best friends, only she's fucking psychic so much mayhem ensues as her developing abilities prevent her from leading a completely average life? Because it blows, it blows major ass, but I can't stop watching shitty Disney late-night programming, because I am so hopped up on anti-headache caffeine medicine that I can't even see straight, let alone make good decisions about what programs to watch, or when I should go to bed if I have to get up and get to the lab at a certain time, or even what color to paint my nails (and my toenails the same, how matchy-matchy of me, I think Cosmo says that's a no-no). Yikes, I am so shaking from the overdosing

But hey, my headache just started to fade a bit. Thank god, I would rather have "the shakes" than that stupid pounding that made it almost difficult to enjoy that "What Not to Wear" show I love so much. Yeah, I've been watching some tv this evening, but I've also done laundry, gone to the grocery, and gone jogging, so the day is mine.

There is a nice squishy gesture article sitting here on my desk I should have read. Should be reading. Should continue ignoring until it goes away. I think tomorrow after I run someone in my experiment in the lab I'm going to go to Spencer and pick up my honors thesis. I'll need $124 cash to do so. Piss. And then there's a meeting I have to be at. Then there's club. Which will involve a very sheepish Liz trying not to act too awkward in front of Jenny's incessant (but not unwelcome) camera-ing since she has decided she wants to get some "action shots" of us practicing. Hilarity will ensue.

I can't wait until Tuesday, when the new Radiohead comes out. Embarrassingly, I listened to most of it on mtv.com today and was instantly transported to the height of my Radiohead fan-dom, when I was addicted to OK Computer and you could sing along to some of their stuff without sounding ridiculous. Well, I always sound ridiculous singing, but you get my Gist.

I said "equivles" today in a humorous way and realized only later how dangerous these mockings of other people's bad language really are. I still have to think hard about how to pronounce "jist" and half the time I still get it wrong. Thanks, Jana Boobs.

Also, I would like to extend a heartfelt "go fuck yourselves" to the all of you who chose not to come visit this weekend, for various reasons. I will be in Evansville next Saturday and probably Sunday for a wedding, shopping, and Chris' graduation party, so hopefully I'll see you all thereabouts. Mensa says it's a sign of genius to make up words. Do you think Mensa has ever met someone like Jarrod? I wonder what they would make of him.

In other news, if I turn my head really fast right now it takes the room a surprisingly long time to catch up with me.

I wonder if Ready (sic) managed to bed Barnaby Hamilton (sic) this weekend. Ahh, the life of a complete and totally shameless nerd. I want her to come back so she can show me how to make a photo blog. Not that you guys look at my photos anyway, or read my blog, as evidenced by my only recent hits being people searching for "tits Janel" and "anal bum cover" god I wish

Stacey and I had dicked around with a really lame idea to make everyone answer a bunch of questions about themselves on their blogs so we could learn more about one another, but I'm thinking that will never happen, and it's probably for the best.

I have pink nail polish on. What is wrong with me.

Right, so my caffeine buzz is slowly wearing off, and I should begin weighing my sleep-time options. It's getting a wee bit late.

Finding Nemo is a good movie, Down With Love is just ok. Still haven't seen Bringing Down The House, but there's time. Stanley Clarke plays the Bird this Friday night, all are welcomed

You are freaking out, man

Show Me, Show You

Ahh, the best link in all the internet has finally resurfaced. Go here to understand a little better why Raedy loves Japan and why I don't eat meat anymore. And why humanity will probably be ok in the end.


You're welcome, but don't thank me. The first one was on Dave Barry's Blog a long time ago, and I forgot the link, and it recently resurfaced on Ultra-Deb's Blog which are both linked for you here and over to the left. Both highly amusing.


CHECK IT OUUUUUT

Deadly Wanger Strikes

* If you go to Google, and search for "tits Janel," you get my blog. Holy fucking shit, what perv out there is searching for tits Janel...and why does that sound so much like a fancy dessert or something?

*It's my dad's birthday. He'd have been....oh....55. Holy fucking shit. I can't imagine him being 55. Well, duh. But you know.

*JD got some DDR recording thing my mom gave him a long time ago when he went home this weekend and is using it to
A. Put all the old Root rehearsal tapes onto cds
B. Take the cds of my dad's playing my mom gave me and Jenny for Xmas a couple years ago and chop it up so there are actual tracks instead of one big massive track
C. Take old Cardinal # rehearsal tapes and put on cd. He and Troy are going to edit out the guitar and add spooky keyboard, just kidding, but that'd be funny as shit

*Where's my promised "daily email" from the oh-so-ever-non-present Chris Daniels?

*Hairbanger's Ball is at the Bird tomorrow night, and next Friday is STANLEY CLARKE (only a big deal if you are a big big dork, or dating one)

*I think I have a sleep disorder. Wherein I sleep ALL THE DAMN TIME, FOR HOURS AT A TIME

*JD and I spent several hours last night making lame, lame, lame-lame-lame photo slideshows of pictures of us acting retarded. I wonder if I cna post that here. You guys will not watch it, but man, what a sense of accomplishment.

*Hung out with JD and Jenny after club tonight, and we went to Steak 'n Shake and then Borders. Cool. Jenny is a good photographist. Hahahaha

*COME ON, GUYS. HAIRBANGER'S BALL TOMORROW. YOU KNOW YOU WANNA COME VISIT

Attention: Gabe sucks at taping things in a straight line!

So I don't have any cute ideas for a heading. Here's some important news:

*Chris has not yet emailed me to say he's coming to visit this weekend. I am pissed. Not really.
*Stacey better be bringing the boy up to visit in the next couple weeks.
*All the rest of you can pick a time and come visit, whenever, I live here so I'm always around.
*You have to walk before you can run, and likewise, you have to do good back spin kicks before you do good JUMP back spin kicks, so I am doing this bitch up right from now on, scout's honor.
*Things just keep getting accomplished, no matter how I try to drag my feet and whine about them.
*I still need subjects, you still need a nice relaxing vacation.
*Does anybody want any of my stuff? I'll probably be selling most of it.
*If you all come visit, we shall have the best ever Karaoke Party, and I will tape it and make you all dvd copies of it. Plus, you will get an awesome prize for doing my study. And I will love you forever. Not this weekend, though, Stace is going to Lexington.
*I am in charge of feeding Baconface II while Ready (sic) is in Chicago sleeping with her idol, Barnaby Hamilton (sic), a gesture researcher.
*I want to go see Bringin' Down Da House tonight. It will cost two dollars.
*First, I am going to eat something.
*I think I may be getting an ear infection, but since I haven't had one of these since early childhood, cannot be sure.
*I found a comfortable way to sleep on the bed! Hooray! I just have to sleep with my head at the foot end and drape the rest of myself diagonally over JD, ensuring that no one gets enoughb blanket.
*JD's speakers for his compy he just bought quit working, so he's making me a comp cd to feel better.
*While he does that, I'll go "cook" something. hahahaha ah aahahahaha
*Bribery works wonders when you want people to do something for you.
*There is a glimmer of a chance that things will work out perfectly. That's all I need.

Jenny needs to stop using King Crimson lyrics to head her posties. Raedy needs to put the rest of the HIGHLY AMUSING birthday party pictures on her site. The rest of you need to COME VISIT. Even those of you with ACTUAL real jobs.

Char's Word of the Day: "Flatulating"
Number of people who thought the words "ironical" and "equivles" were hilarious: sixteen
Level of difficulty, on scale of 1-10, of finding my new Deery-Lou buddy icon: 8
Someday I too will learn to make a picture blog, and will have streaming quicktime movies of things on there. TRUST ME.

Say it! say Car Ramrod!! Say it!

I Still Believe You'll Be Here

Raedy made a rad photo blog. Check it ouuuuuuuu--t

I have had a productive day. Slept all morning, ate hot dogs for breakfast (fake meat, of course), went to the lab for six hours, ran a bunch of lab-oes in my study (still need plenty more, don't let that stop you from coming up), came home, went running on a FLAT trail and discovered that when there aren't hills I can run twice as far (AWESOME), watched My GIRL (Dominican Republic, good lord she's a looker) get the Miss Universe crown, am about to go shower

The shitty fucking mattress JD and I have here is killing us both slowly. We are always achey and pissed off when we wake up. Part of this, I think, is because I like very much to sprawl all over the place when I sleep, and diagonal is the best position for me, but he gets in the way. And vice versa. Sigh.

Yep, that's it. I need to bathe myself, I can smell me. GROOOOOSSSS

Really Really Important Addendum

I remembered another "Jarrodism"

EQUIVLES. Like, this much equivles out to the same as that much

Child Adult Scientists Needed

Guys. I want you all to come visit. I always want you all to come visit, but now I have a more devious purpose. If anyone can come visit in the next couple weeks, any time, any day, whatever, and participate in a study I'm doing that requires me to get a whole lot of people run in a very not a lot of time

So, I'm desperate. No sex act too dirty if it will bribe you to come up here.

That being said, I am busy frowning at the idea of being busier and more stressed out now that it's SUMMER and I've GRADUATED than I was a month ago. WHAT THE FUCK.

I am so easily frustrated right now it's hilarious. I'm sure there are select few of you who would delight to see me in such a state of wallowing, so now's your chance. Come to Bloomington and witness first hand.

JEEZE LOUISE

Enough bitching. I'm going to find something to ground me in reality. Everyone, please, come visit, I will be so grateful. Plus you get an awesome prize for helping

And it's really short, so we can party away the rest of the weekend

Love you guys!!!!!