You're Not Wrong, Just Misdirected

*The fires here have, if you've not been paying attention, spread to over 40,000 acres; something like 30,000 houses are in imminent danger of being destroyed, San Diego as a whole has shut down, flights are screwy, it's thirty degrees warmer if you drive five miles inland, the ash in the air makes it hard to breathe, the "devil" winds blow the ash in your eyes and I heard earlier that it's been blown in a THOUSAND mile radius of here. Oh, and they're not contained or anywhere close.

*I've become addicted to Sex and the City in the last few weeks, which is on our free-for-now HBO every single night, only to find out that the eight episodes airing in January are the very last ones.

*Grad school got hard. This week. I see no respite from it. Ever.

*JD had his cop interview this morning. He kicked its ass into the stratosphere and it didn't stand a chance. He'll find out sometime in a week or so, keep your fingers crossed. Please, we are desperate for an income.

*If anyone plans to buy either of us birthday or Xmas presents, may I suggest Ikea gift cards, which you can get online, because we have no furniture.

*We've decided to get a cat soon, and if it's a boy we're naming it Atreyu. NO STEALING MY CAT NAME.

*I am getting my ass whipped by grant writing. Also, by pretending to comprehend articles I read about urban planning.

*I am feeling a rather misplaced sense of satisfaction about having "taken care of" credit debt even though I just transferred the balances to another card. Hmmm.

*Anyone want to meet me in Vegas over Thanksgiving? Unless all the roads burn down between now and then. We don't have plans.

*What else? The sky is still fucked up looking. And it looks like the world is ending. Sorry no deep thoughts tonight.

*Once this episode is over it's back to the grindstone.

*How are you all? Busy and productive, I suppose. Call/write/update when there's time.

Liar Liar Forest Fire

Apparently the wildfires that are all over southern California, burning out of control are a fuck of a lot closer to us than I thought. Example: we wake up this morning and our perfect weather is replaced with a yellow, midwestern-tornado-looking sky, ASH falling and coating all the patio furniture and cars, and the sun is RED. The sun is fucking RED. And it's getting continually darker and weirder looking the higher up in the sky the sun goes.

I feel like we're in Pompeii just before the volcano blew and we're too clueless to leave. The news said one of the fires was arson, which is the one that's most out of control. That blows.
Fucking bizzarro land having hundred-degree weather in the desert with zero humidity and "devil winds" which are something I'd never heard of but apparently the Santa Ana winds wreak havoc on this area every year and are seriously possessed by the devil.

Hell, at least it's a little more interesting than the perfect sunny breezy almost-long-sleeve weather we've had since we got here. I feel like I moved to the arctic circle during the neverending daylight season...my internal clock is all fucked up, and the fact that it's nearly November and I'm prancing around during the day in tank tops and occasionally sweating is fucked up. And they say we're having a "heat wave" on top of the "santa ana winds" and that's why it's not getting cooler, but I think it just never changes from being 78 degrees and gorgeous, and it's kind of depressing me. I'm one of those people who really likes winter and coldness and especially fall in Bloomington. Frowny face.

Every time I look over at the window it is actually MORE yellow than the last time. I doubt seriously that a wildfire would burn through the twenty or so miles of pure residential area to get to us and burn our apartment down, but it's freaky that the SUN IS RED.

I'm becoming more and more convinced that California is absolutely going to fall off the face of the planet into the ocean in a few years. This place is beautiful but fucked up.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And their life is better than yours
Damn right, it's better than yours
I could teach you but I'd have to charge

"My milkshake?" Meaning what.

Anyway. I spent all day yesterday glued to four non-consecutive hours of Sex and the City, meeting with my advisor, taking a nap, and accomplishing nothing. JD's cop interview is Monday. He's gonna tear it up, they all already love him (not surprising) and ya'll cross your fingers that he gets it.

Love you guys! (Just in case we burn to death later)

You're Just Designed to Be Fat, Especially With That Attitude

I just had a nightmare in which I woke up at 10:30 and missed my 10am meeting with my advisor. While I was frantically trying to email her to let her know I was on my way and felt like a giant fuck up, I woke up to the alarm going off right at 8:09. What a lame fucking nightmare.

Important Alert


THIS is the absolute greatest thing in the world. Try it. Seriously, the fun will never end.

Did I mention that I say "woof" all the time now? woof.

I have rediscovered that familiar frantic feeling of an impending deadline in the last 24 hours, and although I have no time to be updating this, I am also listening halfway to Passions and waiting for mashed potatoes to be ready to eat, so I'm not going to be productive for a little bit anyway. Woof.

First, what the fuck is all this randomness?Woof.

Also, shout out to everyone who's begun updating, like Dave, Chris, JD, woof, no one else....big thumbs down to the lazy rest of you.

Speaking of lazy and stupid, woof, I just remembered today that Raedy called me the other day and I forgot to call back. I guess I can point the finger of badfriendedness at myself, woof. Sorry Ray Ray, let's have a phone call next time you're not busy. If you're like me, however, you have left the entire NSF application until right this minute. Whoops. Woofs.

So, nothing to say, I just like you all to have something new to look at.

Chris Daniels, are you telling me you're in a FRAT?!?! Woof!

I booked a plane ticket last night; I'll be in Indiana from Dec. 17th through Jan. 6th, start reserving your weeklong cuddle-fest times now!

Despite the fact that you're a vegetarian, you still manage to get pounded like a steak every night, right?

So I'm modifying the game a little. Whereas previously I just wanted you to Identify the Person saying these hilariously non-contextual things, I now want you to determine IF he really said them or if I just made them up. It's going to be hard, I know. Email me your answers, and a fabulous prize goes to the winner....we'll do this for a little while, heh heh heh

In other news, I have done every single thing in my power to avoid doing graduate-level work, and it's caught up to me. I have an assload of catching up to do today, so right after I drop the kids off at the pool get some things down on paper, I can begin working.

All you guys who aren't updating need to get your blogger shit together.

Also, I have a new dorkfest celebration page

So, uh, check that out. Or, don't. It's not so great yet. Maybe if I can find a way to incorporate this blog and that page, ehh, fuck it. Like I said, I've been coming up with any number of projects to distract myself from work.

I Need to Go Get Some Things Down On Paper, and Then I Need To Go To Sleep

Gross, gross, gross. Had you guys ever heard "getting things down on paper" as a euphamism for pooping? Because I hadn't, and I followed up with "oh, what things are you going to write down?"

Naive Little Me.

Also, I did some editing that most of you won't notice. I felt bad.

The contest is still on!

Well, I never read YOUR blog, maybe Ashleigh or Stacey's from time to time, but that's it.

Celeste, welcome to the In-The-Know Club. Not that this is tricky.

****
Anyway. I got my driver's license, the picture has a very very tan-looking me grimacing at the camera operator, hahahaha

We found The beach the other day. It's fucking expansive. It stretches farther than the eye can see, I can't believe we had trouble finding it. Also, it's exactly as you might picture a beach, and the sand here has mica in it, which makes it all glittery and pretty. Also, KyKy, I've heard only good things about Santa Catalina Island, and when you come visit I would DEFINITELY want to go....the travel channel does expos on it all the time. On Oprah today, Op drank a $650 martini, made with Napoleon's private reserve cognac mixture, affiliated with Corvoisier, which is served in the country ONLY at one restaurant here in gorgeous Newport Beach. hahahahahahah there are so many rich people here.

I have big plans for decorating this apartment once there's an influx of money. BIG plans.
Also I have reading to do. Lots. For some reason, this week, I'm finding it hard to get really motivated, even though now I have a better idea of what I need to be doing. It's pathetic. But, the feeling that I didn't want to be doing this has gone away, so that's at least better.

I just like feeling self-important by talking about absolutely nothing all the time. And doing anything to avoid articles when I don't want to read them. Or don't want to draft a research proposal. Or don't want to work on group projects. Or don't want to go to the grocery. Or don't want to hear my neighbors fucking. Or smoking pot. Or saying loudly, "This ain't weed, boy, it's CHRONIC"

Sooooo. There's not even good tv on tonight to distract me appropriately

I had a dream this morning as I was trying to wake up in which I was being imprisoned for a certain amount of time per day in a jail, and I can remember various people who were my jailkeepers. Man. I haven't wanted to touch that symbolism all day.

Poo. I need to go smarten myself up.

On a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, I'd say you're about a seven. Maybe seven point five

Ok, guys, there's too much fodder for my title game. It'll never end if I don't kill it now. Stacey was right on. So, I'll just sum it up:
I promise you I have plenty to keep me busy in grad school. They don't just pay me to lie on the beach and look pretty 7.5ish.

Clearly, my biggest issue is with being called a "7.5"

Oh hey, what's up? I'm just stuck in traffic and I thought, "Hey, there's someone I should call....(pause)" but Alicia wasn't home so I called you instead

Yeah, Celeste, sorry, but your guess "quotes from JD" in response to my title game is incorrect. Stacey already emailed me and got it, and despite this I am going to keep playing it until I run out of offensive things a particular person has said to me. Tonight's quote comes from earlier today.

Also, Celeste, don't be scared of the GRE...you just need to give yourself time to learn as many vocab words as you can stand, that's the worst part of it. The 5 year program is a GREAT idea and you should totally do it

Ok, can't think in sentences:

*Disneyland has decorated the Haunted Mansion to look like The Nightmare Before Christmas and redid most of the ride, and it's the COOLEST thing ever

*I received another credit card in the mail today. I promptly switched my other card balances to the new one and then took it shopping.

*Some of you (not all) will be insanely jealous to hear that I have Big Plans tomorrow to drive my ass an hour to Palm Springs to hit up THE supposed greatest outlet mall in the world. I've just got to check all this shit out for you guys so when you come visit it'll be smooth sailing

*School's good. Great, actually, I feel like I'm starting to adjust instead of just sitting through things

*I went running for the first time since I got here yesterday. Ouch. Found a nice long path right here, it's going to take me awhile to be able to run 2.7 miles without complaining

*JD passed Phase One of the cop thing, apparently the hiring process takes 4-6 weeks minimum, and he's got board interviews later in the month. Until then, I'll continue my cycle of hoarding money, freaking out about money, then binge spending in fits of credit amnesia. I wonder, can you "binge" spend over the course of an entire weekend instead of just once?

*Oh goodness, I need to get to sleep so I can wakey wakey bright and early


So, like its clear to you from this post, I am not exciting. Except I like California more and more everyday, and you would too if you moved here. I promise there are jobs for those of you with specialized degrees. Oh, not flight degrees. Those jobs don't exist. But others.

Yeah love to my HOOOOOMIES

Yeah, she walks around with no shirt or bra on all the time in the apartment. (Dramatic Pause)...It's Awesome

So, I was delighted to wake up this morning to the fresh air coming through the bedroom windows, and also the sounds of a TINY ASIAN GIRL GETTING VICIOUSLY PORKED


yep, the neighbors have added to their repertoire not only smoking pot ALL THE TIME on the PATIO but now, once all but the two fornicators have left for school, this is, remember, EIGHT AM, THEY FUCK SUPER LOUDLY.

Like, I had to drag JD closer to the window before he would believe that it wasn't "a chihuahua getting stepped on over and over."

It was the most ungodly sound, shattering the morning stillness of the entire neighborhood like an unexpected catfight. And MAN, that girl was....not a screamer, not a moaner, but some kind of weird yelper just as any of us might stereotypically expect


And the worst, the absolute creepiest part is that I knew, immediately, which of the never-ending parade of visitors this particular girl was, and she is the same girl who sat outside my window on the curb with a lame ass boy who was obviously trying to mack on her just the other day, but as JD and I were leaving the two fuckers were also leaving, clearly both had just gotten out of the same shower, and it was a DIFFERENT guy.


Or so we think. I was thinking it would be really fun to go down there and be like "so, you guys have fun fucking this morning? Could you save the yelping dog noises for maybe a little later in the day?" and just see what kind of violent confrontation between the two roommates fighting over fucking this little asian girl erupts.

Funny stuff, man. It was obvious they had waited until the instant the other roommates left....little did they fucking bother to consider the fucking open windows...I am so relieved I don't have small children who may have heard and been disturbed by that.

Also, keep on paying attention to my blogging titles, as there is a new theme linking them all, and I might offer a prize to the person who can guess it and express it best, in a few days.

BWAHAHAHA

I'm Going to Go Home to My Live-In Girfriend That I Fuck and Then Drive Legally to Places That Can Serve Me Alcohol, Legally

Jesus, people.

I know you guys can't see the Never-Ending Parade of Gubernatorial Delusion out there in Indiana, but it's grating on my nerves. Now Arnold's a fucking sexual predator and excuse the fuck out of me, but I find it HIGHLY convenient that this only comes to light once the Feminazis find themselves losing the oh-so-clever "Terminate the Terminator" campaign. I just want to smack these fucking women who martyr themselves in the name of Wymyn Pywyr in the last seconds of this tired-ass political bullshit and you know what, even if it happened (and who among us hasn't had someone be like "hey baby nice ass" when we didn't necessarily ask for it? Stace, remember that Taco Bell guy? Melissa, that crotch-grabber at your birthday party? Ashleigh, you probably get it more often than you can count?) it couldn't be more OBVIOUS that this was something they sat on, biding their martyr time, waiting until he'd "won" the "big" debate and was entering the home stretch, and then BLAMMO, he's a sexual predator. Christ, I'm so disgusted with the politics of it all that I can't figure out what the lesser eveil is. and the political ads on tv haven't let up all week.

Sweet god.

School's good, it looks like in general I'll have five days a week I don't have to be around on campus, I'll be reading but not visible, and that's cool. I'm killing myself the last couple days trying to come up with a brilliant fucking study to use for three different things I need, and my pathetic defecit in the literature that currently exists is presenting quite a problem. We'll see.

Everything's pissing me off, most notably money. There seems to be no end in sight to our money troubles, as we're still holding our breth to hear about potential jobs for Jamison. Yeah, Cody Jamison is his actual given name. "Given" meaning "what his mom calls him for apparently no reason except to amuse the hell out of me." But in the same breath, she calls me "Lizubeth"

Hahahahah, I was going to book a nice plane ticket this month but there's no money. I am so hyperventilating about it that I'm crazed with worry all the time and it's annoying and I can't concentrate on anything else. I think I need to go to the doctor and get some nice valium

anyway, god knows I don't want to bore Shane with this factual update, so I'll just come back when I have a nice screenplay to post, or can think of a rant to top JD's latest.