Bum Pincher Extraordinaire

Yes, I tucked the Bum Pincher claw that I was gifted during Penis Night into my suitcase, not really trying to hide it (I did hide the realistic "Original Dong 8-Inch" in the playboy slippers case, thank fuck), only to have the bag rifled through by pimple-face regional security teen at the Eville airport. Ha. Poor dear tried to keep a straight face. Tried to look stern and professional. Failed. Didn't find my Dong, though.



There's more Here, here, and here.

Enjoy!

I have two brief movies in progress; one of Stacey handjobbery and one of Ashleigh telling a Gross Out Nurse story. More on those later.

AM SEXING

I wanted to get my hair cut today, but my crazy portugese lady is out of town until mid-april. Boo, you will all just have to look at my nasty split ends.

I'm doing laundry!

JD and I went jogging last night in lieu of actually driving to the gym. I have been a touch burned out on the gym for the last two weeks, and we have had to get creative with replacement exercise. A few days ago, we had a full-on spontaneous ninja fight, which was great fun and left us both bruised and sore for three days. Ahh, good times. Takes me back. Anyway so we went jogging. My legs are goddamned tired. Jogging is harder than cardio at the gym.

I am sloooooooowly getting things packed for tomorrow. We leave at butt o'clock (8am) and don't get there until late afternoon. So I downloaded episodes of the office and Criminal Intent to entertain us on the way there. I am totally excited. I don't know who is coming in to town when so I am going to be blowing up your cellies once I deplane.

Jeeze, I don't want to write this stupid chapter. Must get one more draft sent off by the end of tonight. Lame. I am sick to death of it. And she's not going to read it. Don't get me started. But to leave with a clear conscience I have to finish it. Ohhhh, I hate it.

Oh, and laundry needs to be changed over. SEE YOU GUYS IN LIKE A DAY. FUCK, that is awesome.

ATTENTION:

JD just pointed out to me that he wore a hole through his jeans with his balls.

His balls are so big that he wore a hole through his jeans, right where the balls go, with his balls.

I'm astounded.