Literal Conversation I Am Overhearing As I Write This Between JD and His Powerbook

JD: CompuTOR. ComPUTOR. Tell ME A Joke.
Computer: --
JD: CompuTOR. Tell Me A Joke.
Computer: --
JD: ComPUTOR. SNORT.
Computer: --
JD: COM PU TOR. TELL ME A JOKE. COMPUTOR.
Computer: Knock. Knock.
JD: WHO IS THERE?
Computer: AVENUE.
JD: Avenue WHO?
Computer: --
JD: Avenue WHO. Avenue Who. AVEnue WHO.
Computer: --
JD: COMpuTOR. Tell me a joke. ComPUTOR.
Computer: Knock. Knock.
JD: Who's there?
Computer: --
JD: ComputOR. Open Speakable items. TELL ME WHAT TO SAY.
Computer:--
JD: Tell me a joke. ComPUTOR. Tell me a joke.
Computer: Knock. Knock.
JD: Who's there?
Computer: Harry.
JD: Harry who?
Computer: Harry up, we're late.
JD: HA. HA. HA. GOOD ONE, COMpuTOR!
Computer:--
JD: CompUTOR. Make this page speakable. Make this page speakable. Make this page speakable. COM PUTOR. SPEECH.
Computer:--
JD: Computor. Make new item. Move page up. Tell me a joke. Tell. ME. A. Joke. TELL ME A JOKE. TELL. ME. A JOKE. (Irish accent, poorly done): Aye, COMPUTOR, tell me a weeeee joke.
Computer:--
JD: Laves las manos. COMPUTOR. Quit speakable items. COMPUTOR. Suck my balls. COM pUTOR.

This all takes place while I am pretending to be engrossed in work so he doesn't notice that I am transcribing. And the whole time, he's holding his laptop up in the air so he can talk directly into the tiny microphone at the front of the keyboard. Yes, apple speak is totally convenient and not at all stupid. Awesome.

Dave I'll call you tomorrow. Thanks for the congrats. XOXO

If A Lion Could Talk We Could Not Understand It

Must take break from creating brilliant study materials. Or will stab own eyes out for real this time.
I am fucking tired. This is a pretty common thing now. Booo. Sometimes I am completely able to be smart on top of being tired. Today, however, is not one of those type of days. My prospie is on her way home. She was nice, it was fine. Tiring. Jeeze, I sound like I'm a thousand. Tomorrow's going to be an especially long day.


I dropped my computer a couple weeks ago for the first time. I was so excited that I figured this bit of html out for the same study materials I am working on now, and I started dancing and shook the couch so my laptop fell off the arm of the couch onto the floor. That was a quick shift from happy to not happy.
I had class today too and it sucked because I can't wake up and class is never fun when you are foggy and tired. Worse, I am no fun when I am like this. Oh oh oh what else.

Oh I worked hard on this one thing and it actually went over well. That was the best reinforcement I've had in about a year. If my advice er hadn't liked it I very well may have leapt off my office rooftop. I am reaching epic levels of frustration with not having Anything to show for my time here thus far. Urgh.

I'm writing a book chapter. Those of you in the "know" may realize that a chapter is less valuable than an article, but JD The Layman is delighted by how "cool" it is that I'll have something in a book, and has been telling all his work friends. Do you find it equally delighting, laypersons?

Oh lord I am so lame when I'm this tired. Back to wahrk.

If You Could Go Now, Your Mind, Into A Crab

Here is a list of things that are very jarring when you are not expecting them:

1. The sensory assault of being in an elevator with a gaggle of MBA students on their way to a business lunch. My nostrils burn from the cologne cloud they left behind.
2. Walking into the ladies room and having it smell strongly of chicken soup.
3. Running into Dear Ed Win, the cohort gossip (he informed me that I am well liked by one of my professors. Whew!)
4. Early morning meetings with Pseudo Mom #2


I am busy. B dumped her prospie on me for the weekend (really it's just Sunday and Monday) because I gave her an easy out, in hindsight not a great move on my part, so now I have to deal with an extra houseguest and I therefore have to clean my house and tell Jessica to be on her best company behavior. I also have to get all my work for class done today so that I can get other stuff done before Monday.

And my well-intentioned reminder emails to certain faculty about certain projects have resulted in my TOTAL INNUNDATION with work that should have stayed on the damn back burner for another couple weeks until I could claw my way out from under some of this other stuff. I'm retarded.

And then there's all that tax bullshit, passport paperwirk bullshit, fin aid bullshit, reimbursement bullshit, that I dont' have time or patience for.

Oh and I have a three-day headache. I think I am going to take a nap and then stay up until Sunday. Great plan. Yeah.