Your Boy Is Like A Memory

I just made THE biggest douchebag out of myself to my advis-er. I feel like a total jerk, I am going to be having indigestion and moments of panic throughout the day because of this. Fuck. What happened? Well, I confused some of her work with some of her other work. I'm not giving you specifics. I just feel like a retard. This is my retarded face. This is the face that best captures my current emotional state. OH FUCK YOU BLOGGER. I have to go to a talk. I can't dick around here waiting for this shit. Trust me, though, it was a really funny picture. Too bad you can't see it.

the Wit (71% dark, 19% spontaneous, 26% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat. I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion. You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais The 3-Variable Funny Test! - it rules - If you're interested, try my latest: The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 92% on darkness You scored higher than 1% on spontaneity You scored higher than 23% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating

NEW YORK! You scored 54% Style, 15% Climate, and 83% Culture!

You are New York City. New York City is the largest city in the United States. It is located in the southern part of New York State, at the mouth of the Hudson River (also known as North River as it passes Manhattan Island). “The Big Apple” is a major world capital and a world leader in finance, the arts, and communications. The port of New York is one of the finest in the world and ranks as the largest port complex on the East Coast. The city is the home of the United Nations and is headquarters for some of the world's largest corporations. The city is also the center of advertising, fashion, publishing, and radio broadcasting in the United States. Oh yes, you're happy about this. You secretly wanted to get New York, didn't you? And why not...it's the city the symbolizes America and all the freedoms that America offers. You welcome diversity. You want to see those twinkling city lights. Heck, you probably wouldn't mind if your name was up in lights somewhere, too. You are a partier and you love to be out and about. Shopping, art, theater, people...that all makes you very happy. So does sunshine, so does snow...heck, you're not picky about the weather. Very nice result, my friend.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 85% on Style You scored higher than 4% on Climate You scored higher than 96% on Culture

Link: The Which Major U.S. City Are You? Test written by weeredII on OkCupid Free Online Dating

656,050 descendants - you're more genetically fit than 60% of the current population -

656,050. Nice. You're no Mongol warlord, but to have that many copies of your genetic code running around 800 years from now is pretty impressive. You're not at the top of the scoring spectrum, but, honestly, when you consider that the cheaters, swindlers, and football players of this world are statistically best-equipped to create children, scoring in the middle is something to be proud of. You have the right mixture of attributes. As you'll see below, some of your lines will die out, but your genetic material will thrive here on earth for a long time to come. A close friend of mine created a program to generate family trees for this test. It's based on your unique answers. We accounted for sterility, birth rates, death rates, disease, drug abuse, nitwitism, and accidents and came up with this, for you:

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 83% on fitnessfactor

Link: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Test written by gwendolynbooks on Ok Cupid

Muy Caliente!

By popular request, here is both an update and an update with pictures of hot latin men. Well, one hot latin man, because Luis is smokin'. I looked into having La Cucaracha play when you load this site, but the tech skills necessary to do that are well beyond me. Sorry, ladies.











I had a conversation with jd's mom in which she informed me once again that she won't be one of those crazy mother-in-laws who starts campaigning for babies as soon as the couple is married. well, thanks a bunch, Janet, but I didn't need you to tell me that I get to decide shit like that for myself. truth be told, I think someone's a little itchy for grandbabies. i wonder how she will cope with the unpleasant fact that I have no intention of ever living in Indiana again.







there is a criminal intent marathon on, which blows because I have a pile of work to do. I am "doing" the work while i watch. I was up until 6am (seriously!) watching CI last night, too. Damn this marathon.

Anyway. what else is new? I bought some plum colored eye liner last night because it's supposed to make green eyes look greener. It is crazy, it works awesomely. I also discovered a penchant for buying sephora-level makeup NIB on ebay. You can get just about anything your heart desires on that, i swear. it's awesome.

my cat spilled an entire glass of water on my cell phone, computer, and hoarded box of sanrio stationary the other night. fucker.

jenny, i have ideas for your anecdote. call me.

Dearest Forsaken

This is my *drumroll* 600th post to this blog. Sweet cracker sandwich, that is a lot of useless typing. I am starting to sour on the whole idea of this thing, partly because my life is boring, partly because only six people read this anymore, and partly because NONE OF YOU COMMENT ON ANYTHING. I am reaching Raedy-level frustration with this situation.

I type and type and type and tell you all sorts of boring trivia about my daily life, and no one makes a peep. Sigh. Only when I offer to send you presents does anyone comment. Boo.

Anyway, I ain't that mad atcha.

I went to a yoga class last night with a couple of my friends. Sweet cracker sandwich, the instructor was a drill sargeant. I am in so much pain today it's not even funny. So this quarter my workout schedule is going to be stepped up a notch, thanks to that ridiculously intense yoga class. I'm taking two diffferent ones with the girls, and then JD and I go cardio/lift three times a week. So we'll see how long that lasts. If I feel as totally sore and stiff after every workout as I do right now, I may have to crap out on one of the yogas. (yogis?)

Al Franken's show on the Sundance Channel is freaking hilarious. Peas and carrots, peas and carrots.

I've had all my classes now, they're going to be HARD. Hopefully I'll manage it. Yesterday I had a three hour stats class then I had to go to happy hour then to yoga, bam bam bam, so that blew. It's hot as fuck here, too, the Devil winds are back for fall. Everyone is gasping for air, it's so dry. Instant dehydration. It's really like being in an oven, I swear.

JD rented Danger Mouse from netflix. That's awesome.

We both got really into Sudoku in the last month, as it's in the LA times that we get on weekends, and I was at a bookstore looking for sudoku books (it's fucking addictive) and I finally found one, and was proud of myself, and then realized there was an entire display table chock full of them, with this sign about how it's the newest "gaming craze sweeping the nation." And now I don't want to like it anymore. I didn't buy the book. You can download them for free. JD is working on one right now and I'm itching to help him with it. I like reading over his shoulder, it pisses him off. His other biggest pet peeve? When you go to a fast food place and he drives and then you (I) start eating fries or nachos or whatever loose side item you ordered out of the bag on the way home. He flips out. It's totally weird.

What's going to make you people comment? Dick jokes? Just let me know, in the comments section, and I will get on it. For fuck's sake.