BJ Pleeze Me

Welp, can't stop being a bitch again in Melissa's comments section. I just cannot help myself. Anything to distract when I have hundreds of pages I have to read for tomorrow.

My weekend was pretty neat. Friday JD and I went to a Laykers game on really short notice up in LA. I can't believe we made it in time, we left and didn't get stuck in traffic once. It was pretty cool, even though I don't really care about basketball and no one I had ever heard of was playing. It was nice to do something totaly different than we normally would, especially since it's free (someone at his work gave him tix).

LA is strangely growing on me these days. Today we had to go to two different blockbushters to find a boring documentary about birds migrating and then steal (sic) magnowlias because my advisor believes there is sad content in it that I should use for my project. ok. that's about the lamest i've ever felt when checking out of a blockbushter.

I'm out of money and by that I mean Totally Fucked. It'll be funny to see how I dig myself out of this one. Serves me right, I will need to learn to sock away funds for a rainy day at some point in my life, might as well be right now. I am getting screwed on taxes and I am also going to have quite a few unanticipated expenses arising in the next few weeks. I mean, obviously they're anticipated in that I know they're coming, but I don't know what they are...nevermind.

I'm totally boring, just trying not to do any more reading for the next ten minutes. Ah, fuck it, I'm too boring for this update.

The Motion Keeps My Heart From You

My bullshit reservoir is dangerously close to capacity right now. I feel like I've been an incredible bitch a lot lately but that it's not just randomly sprinkled around to the people I encounter in the course of a day. It's been goddamn provoked, is what's really stunning.

This morning I had to call a hotel in Hotlanta to get them to fax my/Ray dee's reservation for april to me so i can get it paid for. This is how that convo went:

surly front desk employee (after thirteen rings): What? I'm right in the middle of check out.
Me: Uhh, I just have a question.
SFDE: I have time for a VERY quick question
Me: Well, it'll probably take you a couple minutes
Him: Then I don't have time for that.
Me: Uhhh
Him: give me your phone number and I'll call you back. Probably be about ten minutes.
Me: OK here ya go
*click*

30 minutes later

Me: Hello
Him: Hi, miss davenport?
Me: no...
Him: I mean D****
Me: yes
Him: So what's your question?
Me: I have a reservation for april and I need it faxed to my business office
Him: Ok (pulls it up)
Him: No. You booked this online
Me: yeah. can you fax it?
Him: No, that's not policy
Me: you can't fax my reservation--
Him (interrupting): no, because you made it online. That's the website's job
Me: But you have it there, right? On the screen in front of you right now?
Him: Yes, but I suggest you get the website that you're already paying a service fee to to fax it
Me: ok, but I need it now. Can YOU just fax it?
Him: No, that's not our policy. It's not our responsibility to do that, it's the website's.
Me: Ok, I get that, but I need it faxed. Can I PAY YOU to do it?
Him: That's not my responsibility
Me: Riiiiight, but can you do it anyway, since I am a customer of your hotel?
Him: Look, ma'am, you're not understanding me. It. Is. Not. My. Responsibility. You have to get it from the website.
Me (pissed off now): So even though you have it right there in front of you, you can't fax it?!?!
Him: I can give you the confirmation #. That's all I've ever heard of anyone needing.
Me: i know for a fact that I need more than the confirmation number. I need you to FAX ME THE RESERVATION INFORMATION.
Him: I can give you the confirmation number. Do you want that?
Me: Yes.
Him: Are you ready?
Me: No, I'm walking. Hang on

***I make him wait a full minute before I dig a pen out of my purse to write on my hand***

Me: ok go
Him: 30584504-945485087454j4408u5.....

then my signal fades out on my phone. I don't call him back. I am going to call there tonight and strangle his boss via the phone because he was such. a douche. FUCK.

Then my friends here are having Severe Drama. Actually, I too am having Severe Drama but it is not going to be posted on this blog. Or any blog, for that matter. Call me if you want to hear it. I should call you but I have no balls about importnat things.

My friend B is fighting with my professor with the braces. The pink braces. She's threatening to quit school.

I keep reaching for this lit candle to drink instead of my coffee. Wtf.

Jadles got my advisor tickets to (the gun show) this show at the center for next weekend and since it all happened in about ten seconds after she mentioned to me that she wanted to go but it was too expensive, and then I called him and made magic happen, she was incredibly happy and excited and it made me feel really great. thanks, jd!

I can't think what else has happened.
Oh Keith's coming out here next Wednesday to have some job interviews. That's really exciting. I'm trying to get a lot done before then, but it won't work. I am too too lazy.

Jealousy. Turning Saints Into The Sea.

For those of you who are, like myself, still checking Stacey's blog everyday to no fucking avail, here is what Stacey's been up to in her life lately (Thanks Mike for that one update on Raedy when she wouldn't update that made me think this was a good idea) as per our phone conversation:

1. Mr. Titters turned out to be a girl, got pregnant, had six beautiful little kittens with Spike. They are now proud, monogamous parents and Stacey hopes to become That Crazy Cat Lady With The Thousand Cats all the sooner for this happy circumstance.

2. The bakery in which Stacey works is relocating all of its employees to southern California. Stacey is going to live in my walk-in closet and make brownies every day, because I am craving brownies every single day this month.

3. Stacey recently tried out for and was accepted to the Reel World Season XVIII, to be filmed in the Appalachian mountain range.

4. She won't admit to this if you ask her, but she made it onto the Reel World Season XVIII by showing her vagina to sixteen different casting directors and miscellaneous personnel.

5. One of Stacey's baked goods was recently featured as the centerfold in "Baked Good Life" magazine. The photo, depicting three delicate ramekins filled with variously colored creme dishes, also ran on the cover of National Geeografic this month.

6. Stacey's car exploded and she was forced to buy the next best thing: a flying bicycle. Now, she zooms around town faster than ever.

7. Stacey looks stylish in her twinset, but she aspires to one day own a tailored box jacket.

8. She bought a pony and is riding around as much as possible, announcing that she thinks she is getting a rash.

9. Recently having lost two of her fingers on her left hand to an unfortunate toaster-related accident, Stacey is learning to use the prosthesis that I carved for her out of elephant tusks.

10. Instead of updating her blog, Stacey has been out here visiting me, watching me bang my head on my desk in frustration when I can't get my brain to work, and then watching me flick boogers onto my officemate's desk when I get tired of thinking so hard.

11. Crippled by her depression at the results of the presidential election, Stacey has just recently begun taking phone calls and visits from friends and family. In the two months that she was out of commission, she did a lot of thinking about existentialism, about how whiskey is made, and also where babies come from. She also read the entire hitchhikers guide to the galaxxie series in her time off from reality.

12. Stacey visited her orthodontist for an annual checkup and he outfitted her with a nice shiny new set of metal braces with pink rubber bands. Oh wait, that one is really my professor.

13. We went and got matching tattoos the other day. Mine is on my right wrist and hers is on her left, and the tattoos say, "carpe diem," which has always been a favorite saying of ours.

I'm bored with this update. Maybe now though, Stacey will tell us what she's been up to. Give me your password, Stacey, I will do your work for you if you are too disinclined.