I Could Never Go On Without You

Well, I think I am going to drop dead of exhaustion any second now. I don't think I've stopped being "on" for about a week, and if anything drains you it's having to be "on" for a week. Fuck.

-So Jess is in CA but with the grandparents as of this morning, they are taking her to San Diego and Palm Springs and I love having her here but it's been so nice today to pee with the door wide open and not worry about anything. I'll clean later. She'll be back tomorrow afternoon.

-My prospie got in, so did all of the prospies of my friends, which is nice. I hope they all come here and have selective amnesia about hearing current students say bad words while trying to recruit them.

-I just went out for "drinks" with "the girls." That's right. And it was actually really fucking fun and exactly what I needed after today, which was extremely long and included me nodding off in stats briefly, after which I reluctantly ingested enough caffeine to jolt myself into a state of jittery wide-eyed smileyness because there was no other chance of getting through the billion things I had to do

-I had a bunch of my friends and their prospectives over last weekend to watch the last episode of Sex and the City. It was really fucking fun. So much estrogen in one room. JD hid out in the other part of the house. Everyone reacted the same to each scene.

-Before the SatC party was the cocktail party thing sans cocktails. which i rocked Washerboard-style. Very uncharacteristic.

-I just played with my neighbor's puppy Rachel, who is part akita part australian shepherd or something, and is the most adorable thing ever. Plus she's "teething" so she was gnawing uselessly on my fingers. Goddammit she's cute.

-In talking with "the girls" tonight I realized just how nice it is to have other people in the same boat as you in physical proximity to you so you can go to Cheesecake Factory and gossip endlessly about other people and talking about stuff like we all go way back mostly because we all need the dynamic to keep oursleves sane and keep things in perspective. It makes me miss you girls in Indiana, but it's really nice to have something here. And kind of a relief.

-In particular, one of them and I have so much in common above and beyond our similar interests that I feel hugely comforted by talking to her. It's been awhile (a long ass while) since I felt that nearly-audible click in talking to someone, and it's reminding me of a part of myself I wasn't sure existed anymore. And that's a relief.

-Talking to a bunch of girls also helps me wrap my idiot brain around the idea of unregulated PMS including symptoms of minor depressive episodes, which is what I can more or less bank on having been dealing with, bewildered because it's a new thing for me, every few weeks. Sorry to those of you who caught the brunt of that. I still love you.

-I just flipped JD the bird.

-My advice to you: dont' wake up bleary-eyed and start snipping at your bed-hair because you forgot you were going to cut it the night before. At least, dont' snip anywhere near the face. Whoops.

-I have an unfathomably huge amount of work to do in the coming month. But I am still looking forward to some visits, even if coffee is pumping through my veins by the time you get here instead of blood. I don't mind.

-And here's my copy/pasted obligatory quizzle results. I thought they were surprisingly remorseless and bitchy...but I guess that would be about right. I think "brutal" fits better than "remorseless"


The Sudden Departure
Random Brutal Love Master (RBLMf)

Sweet. Dear. Loving. At Gate 18. Final call.

You've been in a lot of serious relationships. More than a few have ended ugly. Uglily. Whatever. Our guess is that you're a really fantastic girl who doesn't really know what she wants, and you've broken a few hearts as a result. You fall for people easily, and you enjoy the feeling of falling in love, but once you're there, either boredom or the old "grass is greener" syndrome sets in. The mind wanders, and with it goes the flesh. And then the toiletries. We know you're not the classic "love 'em and leave 'em" type, at least not in a purely sexual sense. You have too many serious bonding tendencies for that. But even though you're theoretically looking to settle down, you don't settle long on one person. "Serial monogamist" is probably something you hear a lot. "Emotionally loose" is another way to put it. To the poor guys eating your dust and sniffing your panties, it doesn't really make much difference. Of course, it's not really your fault that people get hurt. You have every right to move on when you choose.

Our Hands They Seek The End Of Afternoon

*My weekend with the prospectives went superbly, it seems I've developed a gift for not only being the best possible hostess but also for working the crowd at cocktail parties and making sure not only that the prospectives felt comfortable but also that they had a good time and could loosen up, not to mention saw every giddamn thing worth seeing in a 10 mile radius. I was shocked and proud of myself, you guys should be too. It's a lot easier being on this side of the whole shebang.

*That being said, I accidentally said "cunt" on front of one of them this afternoon while driving around. She went to a Lutheran high school. I felt/feel really really bad.

*Got my stats lab back that I'd anxiety attacked over, got 100%. Another one's due Thursday. Should get my other project back tomorrow, I'll let you know. Otherwise school stuff is good.

*The huge snooty mall sent me an expensive looking invite to a designer showcase, included in the invitation were three fake tattoos bearing the name of the center

*I will probably post a lot more about all this and the recencies of my life soon, for now I have to keeo it short because we're leaving in a few minutes to pick Jessica up from the airport, which is making me so happy I could burst. I am ecstatic to have a houseguest who will not only be low-maintenance but will drive me to and from campus and go to Disneyland with us. I'll probably be a weensie bit scarce thanks to her being here. Maybe next week.

*Let's get these chemical imblanaces figured out, right? Jenny why the crap haven't you called me yet I'm worrying constantly.

*Love you

Your Hands They Move Like Weights Over Me

*As JD drifted off to sleep last night he rolled toward me and mumbled, "roll over, I'm gonna put my junk in your trunk"

I thought that was sweet.