Smile Politely Right On Through

Uh, so.

JD and co-workers found a litter of kittens living in a storm drain in their parking lot last week. Long story. Very dramatic. Very heart-wrenching. Duh. Gutter kittens? How is that not heart-wrenching? I know, right.

Anyway, we are total softies so we have had this little baby cat living in part of our bathroom for about a week, since I cracked thansgiving eve and called jd as he was driving to the shelter to drop this kitty off and told him to just bring it to our house.

We bathed it- twice- and I have never seen anything so filthy or sad or covered in fleas. We put a drop of adult cat flea killer on it and the next day he finally started acting like a normal ass cat. We've been feeding him and cuddling him and petting him and telling him what a good kitty he is and gradually he's been eating more and starting to play and climb around and jump wildly with no hope of landing whatever he's jumping at like a normal kitten. He's crapping in a cat box and chasing fingers and toes if you wiggle them and we took him to a vet this saturday to have him checked out (the soonest we could get an appointment since Wednesday) and he's got ear mites (no big deal) and the vet applauded us for taking care of his fleas and for how we've sequestered him away from Existing Cat (a very agitated exsiting cat) so there's no chance of them coming in contact. He had blood taken because many times, gutter kittens have cat leukemia or HIV and have to be put down and we had to wait until this morning to find out that he does not, in fact, have any horrid disease like that so we do not have to have him killed. He seems "reasonably healthy" for having been the runt growing up in a fucking storm drain and he's got medicine for his ear mites and he's having his poo tested for worms today and he's super. fucking. sweet now that he's starting to feel better and understand that he'll have food (the first few days he was growling while eating and also lunging at each bite like a hungry hungry hippo game piece) regularly and he is really into climbing up you and sitting on your shoulder right where your neck starts and purring into your ear and the vet said he's only 4 weeks old and that's too young to be separated from mom cat but since she left her babies in a storm drain, fuck her, basically, and if he's eating kitten food already that's totally fine, give him kitten food.

So that's what I'm thankful for. The kitten is healthy and probably not going to die or have to be put to sleep and although doing it this way turns out to be a fuck of a lot more expensive than adopting a kitten that's been fixed and medicated and vaccinated and polished up and ready to go, he is so. obviously. grateful. to not be in the storm drain anymore, and he doesn't run and hide in his carrier anymore when JD or I go into the room, instead he saunters over all swaggery and kittenesque and swats at fingers or toes or hair or imaginary ghosts and looks up lovingly and purrs and likes to have his chin scratched and ears rubbed (duh, the mites tickle like hell, I bet) and he'll lick you now if you're petting him and now the only problem is deciding whether to name him:

Piccard
Rupert
Gordon Ramsey
Mingus
or
Soren

I'm taking a poll. From you guys. So vote. On his name. I'll put up a photo of him later, right now I am late for a job tawlk.

Hope you all had things and people you were thankful for too.

I Killed The Last Snake That Lived In The Creekbed

Well, yesterday was fucking awesome:

1. I found out officially that I and all my friends passed that giant nightmare of a test.

2. I pitched dissertayshun ideeeahs to my advisor and she was incredibly enthusiastic about them and said nice things to me.

3. She asked if I'd seen the Borat movie and when i said yes, said she was planning to go see it with two other female fakultee members which made me laugh so hard I almost cried. If you knew these three women you would have laughed until you cried, also.

4. The prof I tee to the a for was very nice and hugged me when I told her about #1 and then later emailed me saying she'd been singing my praises to my advisors all day because i'm such an awesome tee to the a.

5. JD and I went to lunch at one of our favorite veggie restaurants.


GOOD LUCK SISFACE AT YOUR GIANT-O CONFERENCE!!!! LOVIES!!

Four Naan, Jeremy? Four? That's Insane!

Kyle, thank you. I almost cried when I read your comment and it really does make it feel less isolating that other people go through these bizarre relationships too. It's easy to let myself make it into the Biggest Problem The World Has Ever Encountered when I know, in the grand scheme of things, it can't be that bad. And thanks for saying you admired what I'm doing out here. There are times where it kind of hits me how far away I am from all of you guys, and my mom, and my sister, and I feel completely at a loss for a good reason for having chosen this. And sometimes this is too hard for me, intellectually, and the people here are too...image-focused, and the people here that I've become close to seem like shells and I can't be myself, and I really miss being able to pick up on weekends and drive to Stacey's, or to see a band in Chicago, or home to see my mom and friends there, and there's no such thing as a straightforward bit of encouragement or validation that I'm on the right track, and it all builds up and feels like it's crushing me. But then I just have to check in with people who are real to me and I remember that I actually can do this.

So thank you. actually, thank all of you who have offered support--ever. It really means a lot and it's hard for me to say that without sounding totally fucking sarcastic. I know you guys care and I'm really lucky and incredibly grateful to have so many people who are so amazing who also care about me in very meaningful ways.

Anyway.

I don't really have anything else to say about Keith. I don't have anything left to give him. I'm absolutely drained.

Everything else, though, is fine and dandy, and the Keith stuff isn't bothering me so much now that the real weight of that sick-ass stress level is lifting. Work's getting better. I felt decently smart in my hard-ass class today and may have cancelled out how fucking retarded I made myself look last week. There's a new vegan restaurant across the street from my office and it's fucking tits. I have a yoga class tonight. My girl friends here and I are planning a slumber party (yes, really) for this weekend. JD has been incredible beyond belief. He's like a fictional husband. I can't believe someone really exists who makes special trips to rite aid in the middle of the night to buy trashy magazines and bath salts and then offers to sit by the tub while I'm in there and read my course textbook to me, if that would help. He takes the car for oil changes on his lunch break so I don't even have to think about it. He's taken to wearing briefs undies that make his junk look crazy huge, and he wore little shorts to the gym last night and I swear, scared everyone in the weight room with his crotchal area. For my amusement. He lets me watch the today show when i'm eating breakfast when he wants to watch the nfl channel. he's been selling/trading his music equipment because we're moving to a smaller place and there won't be as much space for it. He makes breakfast every day. He tells me my hair smells good. And that my armpit smells good. And that my neck smells good. But they're all different good smells. He's making lists of food to make while Jenny and Mike are here. And he's revising those lists. And revising them. He's off work today and he still got up earlier than me to wake me up when I needed to get out of bed. I'm totally fucking happy and it's nice to have two seconds to notice it instead of freaking out from the time I wake up until I go back to bed at night.

I know, I'm really lucky. I don't question that. I love you guys so much, and I wish I saw more of all of you. But I know you're there when I need you, and I am really grateful.