U Hott Mami? Let's Make Luv

So, one of my and JD's favorite pastimes appears to be watching the Dateline series, "to catch a predator." If you haven't seen it, please watch it next week. It is fucking hilarious. This Chris Hansen guy is fucking brilliant. Hysterical. The way he sits them down and reads the transcripts of their im conversations back to them, verbatim, sends us into fits. I highly recommend it, I have laughed until I cried everytime I've seen this show. Plus the girl they use as bait looks just like jen miller's younger sister. Only adds to the hilarity.

In the past two days JD's car crapped a big one on us and dropped its fucking trannie and it was going to cost three thousand dollars and it was long and dramatic and we seriously almost bought a corolla today but then decided, nah, fuck it, we can share one car at least for a few months so he sold it to the transmission shop owner. *Wipes hands on apron*

There, squared away. Yes sir, squaaaaared away.

Oh and I am so busy my eyes are bleeding and I don't have time to take a shit. That's a lie. You have to make time for bodily functions. And stuff. Anyway.

I Love You So Dearly, I Love You So Fearlessly

today, by the same person, I was told the following. In this order:
1. My hair looks great today (thanks, it does).
2. I am a very strong writer (thanks, I needed that).
3. I am doing a bang-up job with this hulking beast of a chapter and she is very proud of me (thanks, also needed that).
4. When I write paragraphs like this, it "is much too basic for this audience. In fact, a statement like this one would insult people. It's written for undergraduates." (harrrummm).

Dudes, I am getting SUPER PSYCHED AND NERVOUS for next week! JD's car is probably on its last pathetic leg. FUCK! We are FUCKED! hahah!

love you guys

Wonky Pickle Chicken Nipple

700th post, bitches.

Fuck, what a colossal waste of time and energy. Seven hundred blog postings. Three total comments. Divided by 700, that's not making me think people give a shit about what I have to say on here. Hmmmm.

1. My cat had a mostly-successful play date with his cat cousins at Aunt Kristin's house on Friday. Eric made guacamole and we all had a bunch of wine and the cats seemed to be doing fine and basically avoiding each other except for the run-by-while-hissing move that her cats have perfected. So we went out for a bit and when we returned all the cats were in the exact same places as we had left them and there was no blood or flying fur. Thus, my cat is going to live at his aunt's house for the two weeks we're gone. Fucking thank god.

2. I have spent the better part of the weekend researching minutae about this trip. My sister and Mike are leaving for Iceland on Saturday. SATURDAY. holy shit. My mother is also leaving on Saturday. There is still 10% of me that thinks she will crap out on the whole "boarding the plane" part of it and never make it to Scotland. We shall see.

3. However, I am going to assume she'll show up in the ferry town where we're meeting her and we will all travel without incident across the Firth of Lorne and the Sound of Mull and then upward over the mountain. Oh man I am getting excited. We have hunted out every vegetarian/vegan friendly restaurant in the country and I am neurotically planning things down to the timing of meals. I don't think that will last. But we're kind of on a tight schedule so it won't hurt to have a vague idea of things we should not miss and when.

4. I have been incomparably lazy when it comes to my schoolwork lately, but I am noticing that everyone has kind of allowed it, as though there would be no possible way I could be verging on marriage AND successfully completing my work. Thing is, there's not much that I could be doing even if people were on my case. Things are just moving very slowly. I should be whallopped with papers to volley back in about two days. Then, I will be pissed. Also, I will probably end up doing some more last-minute grading, so maybe it's good that I'm getting all this neurotic shit out of the way now.

5. Fuck, I am so excited.

6. Also, Celeste, I talked to my sister. CONGRATULATIONS!

7. You too, Chris Daniels.

8. God, I am so boring. The writing's on the wall. More acccurately, the writing's NOT on the wall because you guys won't comment unless I mention you specifically by name. Or ask you direct questions. That's cool.

9. Oh I got a friend request on facebook from one of my RAs. Not sure how I feel about that. I might dismantle the account instead of adding her. Those sites are just so weird.