...

21. I have a really, really sexy and mysterious bruise on my lower left back/kidney area. No one knows where this came from, but JD and I are in agreement that it's hot.

22. When I have a lot of things to do and not a lot of time in which to do them, I pro-cras-ti-nate. Hence the dual blog update and the fact (you can't know this since I'm just now saying it) that I've spent all afternoon downloading new (EEEEE!!!) music to make myself a nice inspirational comp cd. I am practically creaming my pants with happiness, as I am "obtaining" (shout out to "corn" on that verbiage) some really kickass stuff. I knew I would like the fiery furnaces, but I'd never heard them. I knew I would like the soundtrack to Friday night lights, since EITS did it, but I'd never heard it. Mmmm.

23. I make comp cds to relieve stress, relieve boredom, do nice things for my friends, communicate thoughts and feelings to people I couldn't otherwise express, perpetuate the assumption that I am an "elitist," and because there is something base and undeniable about music (oh ho, i think it may be in my blood!) that compels me to do so. I honestly have a compulsion when it comes to making me/you guys comp cds. I compulse about comping and tweezing. Jenny would add "shopping" to this list, but that's really not something I have problems controlling.

24. If I had to pick how I was going to die, I think I would want to freeze to death.

25. I have been experiencing a bizarre number of heads-up pennies lately. Today I had a meeting with an UG and she came in and exclaimed, "Oh! There's a penny on this chair!" And when I asked her if it was heads up or tails up it was heads-up. I think, Raedy, that Manuel (my spirit guide) is indeed fucking with me. I am unnerrved by all the pennies in illogical places. But then I think of Manuel and I am comforted. *Something* has been terrorizing the cat lately, and I like to think that's Manuel too. Oh, and I saw a man, by the sink, in this apartment the other day. I told JD and he casually says, "oh, weird, I normally see him over by that window."

26. I furrow my brow a lot. More than most people, I would say. I am going to look extremely angry all the time when I am old and wrinkly.

27. Until today, I hadn't had any diet coke in about 6 months. I just decided not to drink it anymore. Today my officemate came in with shitty dominoes pizza and a 2-liter of diet coke and i gobbled them both up. she let me take the diet coke home, and i drank the whole thing.

28. On my 7th birthday, I was bored and being ignored (my perception) by my mother, so I was being annoying. I was pulling on a bookcase in the hall that wasn't attached to the wall, and my mom yelled at me. So then I went and pouted behind my dad's chair in the dining room (it was a huge throne-type thing that he had made, along with the table and me and Jenny's "booth"). While I was pouting back there, the space heater that was plugged in began sparking and caught the wall on fire. I ran and got my mom and she sent me running over to the neighbor's and the fire department had to come and stuff. And we all had to stand around in the back yard and my dad had to come home from work early and I always wonder what would've happened if I hadn't been pouting back there and hadn't seen that little fire start. Would the whole house have burned down? Would we all have been stuck in it? My mom certainly wasn't one to deal with a crisis.

29. On my 8th birthday, my mother was locked up in the nuthouse, and I couldn't see her. I remember my dad trying to explain to me that she needed to be there, but all I could feel was abandoned because she hadn't even gotten me a card. I think that was the point in my life where I realized that I was always going to be more of an adult than my mother.

30. The only ice cream I've ever genuinely liked is ben and jerry's oatmeal cookie flavor.

31. Very few things give me as much sheer childlike joy as riding my bike around in the park. When I don't have a place I'm riding it TO and don't have a schedule, I love riding my bike. I make zooming noises while I do it. Oh, and JD usually goes with me, and he stands up and pedals, shouts, "TURBO POWER" and makes fart noises while he pumps his tree trunk legs. He can go much faster than I can.

32. If I had a choice between a fancy espresso drink and food, i would take the coffee. every time.

33. If I had a choice between a fancy espresso drink and sleep, on the other hand, I would take sleep.

More About Me

11. I had my iPod on yesterday as I was walking back and forth from one building where I have an office to the building where I have a lab. I was listening to that Damiien Ryce song from Closer and pretending I was Natalie Portman as hard as i could. I was, I think, making a very convincing Natalie face. Unfortunately, no matter how much I tried, my boobs wouldn't bounce around quite as obscenely. Darn.

12. Nothing sends me into fits of irrational joy quite like hearing the opening notes of the Harry Pottser music.

13. I think katie courrick has little to offer to humanity. I don't understand if she's supposed to be a hard-line journalist, a chatty talk show host, or one of those people who insists on reminding you all the time that a. she is a mom! and b. she has a basic understanding of pop culture, as demonstrated by her oft-inappropriate references to it.

14. I could give two shits less about the oscars, except natalie is nominated and I really want her to win. Mostly, I just want to see what she's wearing and pretend I am her.

15. When I was in junior high, my dad agreed to buy me my first cd player (yeah, i know, a little late) and in exchange, I had to listen to vast amounts of classical music and agree to be quizzed on it by him periodically. I had to be able to identify, in a few measures, what piece, movement, etc I was hearing and if I didn't do well he would take the cd player away. Even now, I can readily identify the pieces I had to learn. I can't tell you anything else about classical music. Except I mostly like it. I would probably have liked it more if my dad weren't such a nazi. haha

16. Also when I was in junior high, I went to a city where they had a hot topik (not evansville at that point) with my mom and i was sooooo into green day and I begged her to buy me a dookie sticker. the guy at the counter giggled when I went to buy it and joked that he hoped it wasn't scratch-n-sniff. I didn't get what he meant by that until, like, six years later.

17. Until JD explained it to me last night I thought a tsunami and a tidal wave were the same thing. I have nightmares about tidal waves all the time.

18. My dad always had a stockpile of planters dry roasted peanuts and twix bars in his nightstand. Jenny and I would constantly beg for one or the other. Occasionally he would indulge us. Mostly, though, he would do that "funny" dad thing where he ate a twix bar in front of us as slowly as he could and refuse to give us any. haha

19. Jenny and I used to have a purple bedroom with all this crazy furniture that my dad built, like a "zoo." and a bunkbed, which I had the top of. And when either of us would have a nightmare one of our parents would come in with "bad dream spray" which was aerosol air freshener that my dad had taped a piece of paper around that read, "Bad Dream Spray," and they would spray that around and, shockingly, it worked incredibly well and prevented any further nightmares. Genius.

20. JD brought me a griffyndor shirt the other day, which I have been sleeping in and am wearing now. It is entirely too small. But I like pretending I am a harry pottser character. So I'll keep wearing it. It's awesome.

Is That A Horse Bandwagon? Let's Get On It

Wow, even with my PUNS I'm Punnier than I mean to be. I'm joining the relentless beat of the Melissa Drum now. I felt lots of negative energy coarsing through me once I posted that big gripey bitchfest earlier. And I LOVE it when Stacey updates so so much that I update doubly (dolby) just to say thanks.

Things About Myself In No Particular Order That You May Or May Not Care To Read, Part One:

1. My url is misleading. I realize that. Do I care if you think it's as hilarious as I did when I came up with it? no. To be quite honest, I tried to enter "shutyourslutface" when it asked for a url when setting this blog up, but it told me that was too long. I swear. To. God. That's true. I know it's Jenny's url, and that's incredibly freaky, but I honestly did that. I think by the time Sis got a blog they let you type as much as you wanted.

2. I have no problem whatsoever with wearing the same pair of jeans for three straight weeks.

3. I spend an inordinate amount of time with tweezers in my hand. I tweeze eyebrows, gray hairs (thanks, dad!), then eyebrows again, usually while multitasking, but I've been known to sit on the sink counter and tweeze at imaginary eyebrows for hours. Not kidding. Ask JD if you don't believe me. I learned this from my mother, who once plucked all of her eyebrows totally off in junior high and had to draw them back on for a year. I learned this, but still I don't learn.

4. I like living by myself for the following reasons:
A. I can put the large, serving spoons in their own section of the silverware container like they're supposed to be instead of having all the spoons in one Spoon Conglomerate Section
B. I can take a dump with the bathroom door wiiiiiide open.

HAHAH

C. I can talk to the cat in whatever creepy Felinese voice I choose. I can sing weird cat songs (and I do) while I'm tidying up the apartment and not feel like the world's biggest Lame-Ass.
D. If I'm eating something and I made too much, I can put it back in the fridge instead of offering it to JD. There are always leftovers when you're allll allllooooone

5. I hate living by myself for the following reasons:
A. If I am too lazy to do something, I can't bark at JD to do it because I am too "busy" with "schoolwork" (read: tweezing my g.d. eyebrows)
B. I suck at cooking. Real bad. I intend to live on canned food and instant things like yogurt.
C. My laundry is heavy because there's so much of it. Normally I would whine until JD came and carried it for me. Poo.
D. I can't make espresso drinks for myself that taste as good as the ones JD makes.
E. It's fucking expensive to live here by myself!

6. I think unicorns are kickass

7. At various times in my life, I have spent a great deal of time becoming "proficient" at some thing or another (e.g., playing the flute, obtaining a black belt). However, this does not mean that I could play anything on the flute today that would not make you double over in agony, clutching your now-bleeding ears as you hurled protestations at me. Also, I am a little concerned that I feel like I could kick only a small majority of people's asses these days. I get nervous when I think about that pattern and the fact that I think I arbitrarily want a PhD

8. I change my mind a lot. I think sometimes, I am a vegetarian only because it narrows down menu choices to a manageable number.

9. I've been prancing around in my apartment lately. Not just, "oh, she's happy, look how she's skipping around like Melissa does when something goes well" but flat out PRANCING. Here and there. To and fro. Tra la la. I get halfway across the apartment and I have this intrusive thought that has my sister saying, "i'm PAN, the GOAT-GOD" and then quickly on the heels of that comes "I am CATFISH MAN," also a la my sister. I dissolve into giggles and then catch myself prancing and giggling and then I get weirded out by how girly I am and I have to rip a big fart or something.

AHHAHAHAH

10. I love making lists. So much so, that I often make the same list 4 or 5 times. Once I start crossing things out, the list looks super messy and I have to make a clean one with only the non-crossed off items included. It's no wonder I get Jack Shit done with my "free" time to work on things.

I have to go do laundry and go to thr gym and do eighteen hours of work in three. Way to enable me, internet. FUCK YEAH