I Can Sing Better Than Her With My Hands Tied Behind My Back

Actually, I bet I can do lots of things better than lots of people with my hands tied behind my back. Heh. I watch Jet Li movies. I got "moves." And stuff. Oh and I totally meant that in a sexual way too.

And I am referring to Ashleeeee Simpson. No DUH. (Fetch)

So. Before I move to addressing Raedy's thoughtful yet challenging comments/questions from the last post, i want to state again for the record that Dick Cheney is the most evil person on the planet. Though I sat with my mouth hanging open as he forfeited his turn to respond to the gay marriage thing. I guess they haven't figured out an appropriately partisan "hook" for him to use in response to queries about his gay daughter. I don't know who won tonight. Blah.

Ok, so, the reason I don't oft dabble in politick shit is because I grow quickly angry and bored with the whole of it, and I can't bear to expend the cognitive effort to keep up. Plus I'm lazy. Oh and usually I get so righteously indignant at people who are strongly in favor of something I disagree with that I have to distract myself with shiny objects or chocolate or something to avoid making a stink or otherwise "blindsiding" someone, god shield, in a public forum with my own, contrary, opinions about something.

Mostly though I just don't bother taking the time to know enough about their "issues" and "differences" to give a shit. And yes, I think partisan loyalty and bias are stupid, but in this election I cannot fathom a more evil possible administration, or one more in conflict with everything I value in my life and for my loved ones, so my mind was made up a long time ago. Not because of a deeply rooted desire to remain uneducated and happily oblivious and vote a straight democratic ticket, but because what I have noticed about the issues are so glaringly terrible, in my mind, that I don't even feel like I especially need to be convinced in the other direction. That is, I can hear someone say they want to amend the Constitution to include a ban on gay marriage, and as long as the other guy thinks anything else, I agree with him. I can see a MILLION women march on DC and stand up for our fucking reproductive rights and then hear Stacey gripe about her birth control getting more expensive and I don't give a shit what the other guy thinks, as long as it's not putting conservative bible thumping retards on the supreme court bench and passing abortion legislation under the table, I agree with him. There are lots of things to feel passionate about, but for christ's sake, you dont' really NEED more than one.

My little "rant" was inspired by the willful apathy of my own mother, who honestly is content to just let the world and civil rights come crashing down outside as long as she's safe in her hermit cave, who doesn't feel that there is even ONE major issue to feel stringly about, possibly because she doesn't know anyone in the military, has had her children, has no chance of falling even into the middle class tax bracket, already pays out the ass for health insurance, isn't corporate, isn't gay, doesn't NEED to care about anything.

That, and the fact that it characterizes MOST of Indiana, is what scares me.

I just said I'm totally uninformed about 98% of the issues. But I picked a couple to matter, the ones that I find most personally relevant. My problem is the unwillingness to put forth even THAT much effort, even enough to dick around online and try to find out what could polarize you.

Errgh.

Dont' do as I do, kids, do as I say.

So Raedy, in response to your questions:

1.) Yes, Cameron Diaz DID say that bit about rape. She was not coming across in general as very cogent during that interview. But she seemed like she was really worried that she wouldn't adequately convey the depth of her passion about hating the president so she got choked up a few times. Basically, what she was getting at (in a roundabout way) was that she thinks that, basically, women not having any say in what happens or doesn't happen to their bodies is like rape. Women not being allowed to exercise control over their own reproductive organs is like rape. So thus, basically, Bush's views oon abortion and women's health issues are comparable to rape. So if you're a woman, and you either vote for Bush or don't vote at all, you're saying you're cool with being raped. And if your'e a dude and you either vote for Bush or dont' vote, your'e also saying you're cool with women being violated/otherwise raped. but she just couldn't get that all into one coherent sound bite.

2.) You can reject your right to wear pants. I reject the wearing of ill-fitting pants. I also would like to move that we (the ladies) not be required to wear anything at all on the bottoms. Because I am not so great at wearing skirts. You, however, are welcome to not wear pants, or to wear pants. What I protested in the last post is not having the choice of wearing or not wearing pants. See? I just want to preserve my right to choose. Choose to wear or not wear pants, choose to abort or not abort unwanted unplanned pregnancies, choose to complete or drop out of graduate school. I wanna pick for myself. ME DO. MYself.

3.) that's right, I am a badass.

4.) Errmm. Extreme feminism, now, hurrrmmm. I dont' like to put such restrictions on myself and my self-expression like, "being able to define things I talk about." That seems so repressive. But, uh, Let's see. I suppose what I meant, and you could take it multiple ways, but what I meant was, to ME, it just seems logical that women should be allowed to choose things for themselves. I know that a lot of people would not automatically think that abortion=something we should wholeheartedly support, ok, but to me that's what I think. There are other things concerning women and women's rights that I (shamefully?) could care less about. Issues that I don't even pay attention to, even though they affect me directly just like abortion. But I realize that some other people, and probably a majority of all women in this country, pay more attention to that stuff because they find it personally relevant in a more compelling way, and perhaps by virtue of the issue being a gender one they are interested in learning about it and understanding it. I am somewhat limited in the extent of my gender issue interests. and in that sense, I'm a big fat hypocrite. But.

I said something about liberal tree huggers And something about extreme feminism. But basically I didnt' mean that Melissa is a tree-hugging liberal hippie, or that you are a feminazi, but that I am not passionate or inspired about, really, much beyond my g.d. right to have an abortion if I feel like it. So I guess I would be, if I am going to continue using wrong labels, "a psycho pro-choice nutjob" who's egging the cars of those people who come to college campuses with blown up photos of aborted fetuses. I mean, i would egg their cars if they were here.

So yeah Raedy you're definitely a feminist, where I am mildy interested in some issues that affect me and not at all in others, so I cant' really call myself the same. Which, I guess, means I am less liberal than I like to think. But whatever, I did not mean it to insult you. not that i think it did, though. right?

ok that's it for now.
more questions? aim at comments section

I'm Up For The Little White Lies

So, I discovered that my awesome window in my awesome office faces directly west. Yes, that's the sun setting, alright. It won't actually set for another hour or so, but that sure is a lot of bright sunshine in m'gawdammed face right now. I could pull the blinds, but I want to relish the fact that I have yet to turn the overhead lights on in this office since I moved in.

Grumble, what a long-ass day. I've been on campus for the last ten hours, actively doing stuff the whole time. My one personal goal for this quarter? I'm so glad you asked; it's Time Management. Like, compartmentalizing my life as best possible so I can hang out on campus and work while I'm here and get it all done before I go home to my non-academic non-stressful apartment with my delightful boyfriend and cat. And occasionally, I may have the chance to hang out with friends and shit. You know, outside of school.

Is it bad (in a socially retarded way) of me to not be able to conceal the intense dread (rather than sheer, squealy joy, as the rest of the lab apparently was feeling) when one of my professors too casually asked, "so what's everyone doing saturday night?" in our little meeting today? I mean, I couldn't really be like, "hanging out with my overworked boyfriend, as I do every Saturday night, without deviation," when she invited us all to a barbecue at her house. Her beach house. With her corporate banker husband and perfect two year old. yecch. I think the grimace on my face, that I was fighting to force into a weak smile, probably made her think I hate her. Truth is, I hate hanging out with the girls in that lab. I like them all as people and they're nice and smart. But. I just don't know as much about bikini waxing as they do. I can't keep up. It drains me. They make me feel really weirdly insecure. In a way that no other people do. Hmmm. So yee-haw, I am more or less required to hang out with them on Saturday. Not that it's necessarily bad. God, llisten to my bitching, I am such a skank. I just would rather lay around the apartment in my underwear and order pizza like usual. Maybe I can ask the gals about Revlon versus wet 'n wild lipstick brands. They would sure the fuck know.

My cohort's 1st departmental meeting went smoothly today. I was in charge of setting shit up. Which then became setting everything up, running across campus to get my power cord for the speaker who hadn't brought hers, setting up the projector and making it work when Retardo who volunteered to be the media guy this quarter didn't know how to turn on a mac, clean up, etc. sticking the pasta salad in the fridge. which i might have thought to grab before 5 so i could take it all home. Damn. Damn you, lab meeting.

Anygay. I hope you all in Indiana have registered. Today is your deadline. I know because my mom was pretending like she was going to register herself, and knew all about what she needed to do, but then pulled that uber-uninformed, "well, i just haven't been convinced yet that it's worthwhile to vote for Kerry instead of not voting for either of them." Newsflash, mom and all you other apathetic Indianaians: if you don't vote, it's not a big F-You to the politicians, the system, or the goddamn man. They would probably rather you DIDN'T vote, so they could continue ignoring you while campaigning.

Here's my problem with middle-aged women who are supporting Bush. Just because you're in a place in your life where you don't forsee yourself ever needing to have the option of an abortion, because you're married and have enough kids or whatever, doesn't mean other people won't need the option. It's so shortsighted, I think, the way people go about looking at issues. For christ's sake, my mom should vote for Kerry just because she was a stupid twenty-something once and her daughters have a whole decade before them to be stupid, and we should goddamn well be able to abort any egregious mistakes. Not that I ever personally would/could do that, ok, but I fucking absolutely think you or your mom or sister should be able to. If you are sitting there, unconvinced that anything in this year's election merits your attention, can't find an issue to be passionate about, if you need just one goddamn thing to make your mind up for you, it should be all the fucking civil rights rollbacks that have snuck by under your nose in the last four years. It should be the idea that your little sister, or your girlfriend, or your mom, could be raped to shit tonight on the way home and how your life would be different when she's not allowed to do anything about it.

My favorite thing the overzealous celebrities appearing on Oprah recently to encourage people to vote said was Cami Diaz saying, through stammered words and near-tears, the following: Well, yeah, I think if you're ok with rape, and you think everyone can be raped and that's not a problem, then go ahead and not vote, that's cool.

The Oprah audience, as you might expect, sat there with their fool mouths hanging open until one ofthe other, more people-friendly celebs jumped in and lightened the mood.

But seriously, folks. If you need a deciding factor. it shouldn't even have to be pointed out to you. It's not just abortion. In four more years I probably won't have the right to get an advanced degree, vote, or wear pants. I'm not a tree hugging liberal hippie either. I'm fairly (cringe) moderate on most things. But all the "maybe he did ok, kind of if you squint at it" aside, he is TRYING TO NEGATE THIRTY YEARS OF THE WOMEN'S MOVEMENT. And not just extremist feminism. The kind that seriously, seriously, affects you and the females you care about. Just think about your girlfriend getting raped and having to fucking have some rapist guy's baby.

It's not that every rape victim should abort their pregnancies. But to not be able to decide for yourself? That's fucking bullshit.

Sorry. Wait, no I'm not fucking sorry. You owe me and every woman in your life a fucking apology if you're not registered to vote.

Mais les yeux sont aveugles. Il faut chercher avec le couer.

I heart saturday. Got some cool shit for my office. Like, office supplies. Like a very necessary coffee maker. Hey, fuck you, it was totally cheap. Plus I have wanted to get a coffee maker for my office all year, but now I have a cool office and it's much more fun. Also I got some More of these expandable file folders that Target sells that are in different colors and patterns every time I go in there. I have like five but I'm addicted and they're so fricking cute I can't stop stuffing them full of papers.

Right now JD is cooking my all-time favorite lunch: mashed potatoes, corn, edamame, and buffalo wing fake chicken nuggets. Mmmmm.

I haven't gotten dressed yet, and unless we come up with something pressing to go do, which I doubt will happen, I may not get dressed at ALL. I made some collages of your pictures to decorate my office and various parts of the apartment. Hey ashleigh that reminds me can I PLEASE PLEASE have your doubles from when I was home? I don't even know what's on them but I really badly want more recent tangible photos. I hate digitial media sometimes.

Oh also at target yesterday we bought a printer, for SEVENTEEN dollars. I love it. It totally works. I needed a g.d. printer so bad. And we got a water filter that screws onto your faucet. Which came with coffee and a travel mug. Oh and a bunch of other shit. But it's the first of the month and the welfare check came in so we had to blow it all on bubblegum and trading cards, right?

I got through my first week with minimal scarring. Now that I know what's expected of me all year, I am fucking gearing up to rip this grad school thing a new asshole. In its face. Because it needs a new asshole in its face. I have decided that my motto for this year is going to be, "get used to it, Hitler" anytime I feel like complaining. Thus, when I get frustrated and want to slit my wrists, I will take deep breaths and say, "get used to it, hitler" to myself a few dozen times, and then my stress will melt away as I dissolve into giggle fits and everything is right in the world again.

Might go see the ballet tonight. Probably not. Might get some of my incredibly a lot reading done tonight, will probably shove that off to tomorrow morning. Monday is going to suck balls. But after Wednesday of next week I am basically on the weekend already. Sans reading and other responsibilities. But you know. It's cool.

So yeah. I escaped having to do any kind of prosocial introducing of speakers and schmoozing at lunch for the quarter. This time. Next time I'll probably get saddled with about sixteen people, but whatever. I looked at my course requirements and I only (after this quarter) have a couple things left to have to take. Mostly stats (i'm getting a minor) and then anything interesting, of course. Riiiiiight. Like I'm going to do extra work. Maybe I'll audit your interesting class, professors. God I am so excited to be done with this quarter. Next and spring don't actually look so bad. i should only be doing one or two labor-intensive CLASSES. Projects, as per always, are a different story.
Anyhoo.

Gotta jet! Photos on fotoblog (again) sometime soon. My cat won't stop being adorable. And there were new ones a week or so ago for those of you who aren't reading the comments

Those of you in the midwest: please please please register to vote. like, today. i think it's one of the last days. please please don't lame at me that you missed the deadline when disaster strikes again in november. Puhlease. Maybe Indiana doesn't have to be republican this year. come on. try. care bear stare or something.