The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Meltdown

Hi everyone, it is four fucking a.m. and I am wiiiiiide awake, jittery from the caffeine and freaking way the fuck out. Why? Oh, let's see. I finally got some parts of my honors thesis back from Dr. "I made you wait three weeks for them because you didn't sleep with the correct mystery person" Smith, who made the astute observation that my discussion is a piece of shit. Now, had I stayed more on top of things, I would have remembered writing a piece of shit, titling it "discussion," and handing it in to her so she could manage damage control while I patted myself on the back for completing something.

HAHAHAHA.

As I was beginning to rewrite my discussion, completely, from scratch (that is how bad it is, there is nothing salvageable whatsoever about this big steaming pile of vomit sauce I tried to pass off as a discussion), I began to notice that the things I was discussing in my discussion were not right. Or, the results I had gotten in my results section were not right. Something was not right.

Cue emotional breakdown, as Liz stares mindlessly at the computer screen for upwards of an hour, trying to organize discussion thoughts into some semblance of coherence. Typing one sentence, erasing it, typing same sentence, erasing it, typing same sentence this time with numerous, panicked typos, erasing it. Staring mindlessly at the computer screen for upwards of an hour again.

Guys, I thought I was going to have a panic attack. And I don't "have" panic attacks. This sucks so goddamn bad.

Now, you might be saying to yourself, "but what's the big deal? fix the results and move on"

But for a long long time, I could not figure out WHAT was wrong with the results, and therefore, thought my whole thesis was going to shit and I was going to be defending it and someone would go "what the fuck is this discrepancy?" and the rest of them would be like "YEAH!" and that would be the end of me.

Ok, so. JD finally came home from work, and slapped me around until I was talking sense again, and once I could stop freaking out I could think, and I believe I know what the problem is, and exactly how to fix it, and it won't take too long. BUT. It changes some of my results, because now I have another effect, and that's kind of weird. BUT. I finished writing my new discussion, which is much better and way less horrible than the original, did all the bullshit title page stuff, made a reference page, fixed my intro, and now have a "game plan" about fixing this results horseshit.

One more sucky thing: there's a poster presentation Wednesday night, which I intended to start and finish working on tonight, until this fucking blindsiding mass of chaos harrumphed into my lap. So. Obviously I can't do the poster until I have the thesis finished, and because I need to have the thesis completed and distributed tomorrow, there is a specific order in which I must proceed with this stuff

Enough whining. I just wanted everyone to know that I am pulling my end-of-college all-nighter, and that it couldn't suck or be more complicated or more stressful for me right this fucking second if it tried really goddamn hard.

Seriously, I am WAY less busy after Wednesday. Why does all the shit always happen right at the worst possible fucking time?

Anyway. A real update when there's real news. Meaning, when I have time or am needing another break from the world of gesture research. FUCK

Ninja Test Results Update Post

So, as my loyal fanbase is surely wondering, the temp belt (sorry, Ninja Test) test is now over, and was one fuck of a long, wrists cracking, head slamming into the mat, judo throwing, fake throw inventing, bitch slapping, elbow bruising, hair pulling, face contorting, joint pulling, gun defensing, asthmatic wheezing, obstacle diving (over), knife body movementing, grimacing in pain, leg takedowning, mother FUCK of a test.

And to ice the cake, Pat had us do our "skills test" in class, right before. "Skills test" means "mini-belt test" and was exhausting in itself. And we guesstimate that we each took over sixty (are you hearing this? SIXTY) throws, many of which were ones where I went up in the air and came down hard on the other side. BLAM, BLAM, BLAM

So let's just say that I am fucking SPENT, and it was all I had not to pass out during the stupid thing. But we passed, and we passed with nice things being said about us, most notable being that it was an "excellent" test and of course we passed, etc. etc.


Yeah, then we went out to The Irish Lion, Meredith's absofavorite restaurant, and proceded to get her on her way to drunk, happy birthday to Meredith. She's going to puke so much tonight. Also, Yuval actually managed to bribe her into saying "cocklicker" (she refuses to say naughty words) after he bought her a shot called "an oatmeal cookie" so that was awesome. Also, not that any of you guys care for shit, but Mere was just participating in the temp belt test as this Eric guy (remember how I bitched about him fucking everything up?)'s partner and then Pat was like "you're ready to test, you're testing right now, like it or not" and she got her temp belt unexpectedly on her birthday. How fucking sweet is that?

anyway, I have to go pack, write my mom an email detailing all the flight numbers and times, and then try to sleep and shower before 3am. Fuck. Talk to you guys soon, and wish me luck with the world's most uninteresting weekend (not really, it should be good, I just don't feel like going....and I certainly don't wanna deal with the potential awkwardness of seeing the Cornell people --which would be cool, and maybe I can skip out on a whole day of conference and go to the beach with them-- and the rest of them. But what can you do. )

yeah anyway, I am going to go pass the fuck out, or think hard about it at least

Smooches (and a big fat thanks to everyone who supported/encouraged me/us this week...love you guys, start clearing your calendars for the black belt test:)

I don't know what kind of dog and pony show they're running back there in the fourth grade...

So, the Ninja Test (as I've taken to calling it...somehow, it sounds like more fun and less stress if it's a Ninja Test) is later on tonight. Everyone send happy thoughts my and JD's way around 5:30. For a few hours, at least.

And then it's out for a "fun" night of celebrating the club prez's 21st birthday and excusing myself in time to come home, sleep until 3am, and then drive to Indy so Raedy and I can fly to Tampa.

Mother fuck, this blows so hard. I'm all butterfly-ey about the test, I'm highly dreading the conference, Dr. Smith hasn't bothered looking over my stuff yet (honest to fucking god, just TELL me who to sleep with) so I've been spinning my tard wheels here for almost two weeks, waiting in vain for her to care about me graduating on time.

Flags, at all times flags, flags.

Things I Have Learned in College Thus Far

1.) Transfering is sometimes the absolute best thing you can ever do for yourself, if you hate where you are and what you're doing. Don't worry about the asspiles of consequences, or the thousand people you might have to step on.

2.) You have to be selfish sometimes. Just because you care about someone doesn't mean you can do everything for them all the time, and you sure as fuck shouldn't try to be their everything.

3.) There is one amazing philosophy professor at every college. Find him or her and take as many classes with them as you can.

4.) The more stuff you throw yourself into being involved in, the more you feel at home at your school

5.) Friends you make here usually come and go, and there might be a couple that last the rest of your life, but almost no one compares to the ones you already have in place

6.) Naysayers (psych professors) from small liberal arts private schools that say "if you transfer to a big school you'll get lost in the shuffle and won't ever make anything of yourself" can suck it, and should be thanked for giving me all the motivation I ever needed to establish myself here and succeed beyond wildest expectations

7.) If it's cold, you can sometimes wear two pairs of pants without anyone being the wiser

8.) The school gyms are fabulously equipped, and you have to take advantage of it while the membership is free

9.) People who come into college with borderline eating disorders will find them raging out of control by the end of their first semester, across the board.

10.) Unless you are some kind of supermodel, you should leave the ass-pants-wearing trend to those who weigh LESS than 400 lbs.


More to come as I actually bother to think them up! Keep trucking, and if my plane crashes I love you guys!!

Back at the Homestead, where the air makes you choke

HOLY SHIT

The Melvins, Tomahawk, and Skelteton Key playing all together in Chicago May 13th (Tuesday) ?!?!?!?!

Who wants to come along?

what is the fucking problem, blogger, you cheap cheap slut

Second Star to the Left and Straight on Till Morning


So it wasn't that interesting of a weekend. Got to see the family, JD's included, which was very nice, and hanging out with mom is always enjoyable. Except the second thing she says when we get to her work, as we're walking out the door to go home, we've just come into town, is "I have some nice chicken salad in the fridge, or there's sausage pizza if you want that"

Mom, JD and I are both vegetarians. Veterinarians. Vegetation Ariums.

Anyway, that was amusing. JD's mom may not have forgotten, but I think she probably did. Or at least, she disregards it in that same momish way

I feel quite sad that I was in Evansville, contacted by you guys, and still didn't get to see anyone, thanks to time constraints. Sorry. Guess you'll have to come here to visit instead. hahaha.

So, it's definitely Freak Out Central for the next two weeks. Damn, I thought it was three until Raedy callously pointed out my mathematical error. That blows, that means stuff has to be done way sooner. I'd bitch, but I somehow have written two thirds of a kunja paper, outlined my entire defense talk, attended both classes, did cardio, ate dinner several thousand times, did laundry, cleaned my room, and am now updating my blog, and it's not even 10pm. So, if I continue to stay on top of things, which is not really a choice I get to make, meaning that I have to stay on top of things, I will be fine. And not allowed to bitch, although I would think it justified. Same goes for you all.

It's been pointed out to me that Jenny's blog sounds exactly like mine. Only I think smarter. Or at least, more enthusiastic about the blogging. Maybe that wears off in time. Whatever, though, I decided that I no longer view this hobby as pretentious. it's seriously just like writing you guys a big mass email with more of a "talking to myself because no one is listening" feel, which I like very much.

Anyway. Raedy defended this morning, and did a bang up job, passing with flying colors and making me extremely nervous about mine, since it is not this morning and therefore not over, but congrats to her. She worked awfully hard and I'm so happy for her that it's over. Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick

So the major thing is the temp test, Thursday, which is actually not so bad. I am getting excited, which is the exact right mentality for it, as opposed to being frightened or negative. We shall see how that goes.

And then, of course, of all the lame-ities of the world, Friday at ass-o'clock I have to fly to Tampa, Florida's toilet, for a conference that I would really like to not have to go to, just because it is at the absolute worst possible time ever. And then things start happening faster, and then things get interesting, and then BLAM it's all over.

I'll keep you updated I'm sure, as I love this stupid outlet, but as far as this week goes, don't hold your breath for the next one.

In other news, things not involving school are great. I love when things fall into place after months of obsessing. It makes the obsession feel so much more warranted.
Anyway, wish me luck with Shit Time and I wish you guys who are all going through the exact same thing luck with it, and hopefully it all goes smoothly and is over really before we know it.

This Blows.

Or: it's just a demon, you can fuck it.

Wait a second, I suck at jump back spin kicks

So, just wanted to let you guys know that

A. Jenny now has a blog, I'll link it over there (<-------) when Blogger stops chugging all this cock and starts letting me do things to my template, go HERE for now.

B. I am coming home today, around 5 or so I'll be leaving, for a wild weekend of seeing people I haven't seen in months, like my mom, Mike, Mike's mom, and probably not Monty, but maybe some of the rest of you cool cats instead.

C. Until then, I need to take a shower, dick around here not accomplishing anything, and then go to the lab for "tea time" to hear Raedy give her practice talk, as her defense is (holy fucking shit) on Monday. For those of you who were wondering, mine is not until May 6th, so don't worry for me.

D. It's Keith's birthday today. Yo, happy birthday. Have a good time flying off somewhere ridiculously exotic if you actually go through with it, even though you're not reading this. Yeah.

E. My sister wears granny panties? I don't believe it. I don't even wear granny panties.

F. I got this shirt the other day that's a red t-shirt and has a cute picture of a pig in the middle holding a bunch of flowers, and it says "Don't Eat Me! I Love You!" on it, I died laughing and had to buy the stupid thing

G. Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick

H. I just had to sing the alphabet song to remember what came after G

I. I'm going to go get tackling my day. See some of you in Evansville later? Maybe?

J. Jenny, I can't believe you are hitching a ride home with that traitor JARROD instead of me and JD. You suck.

I Have Bite Marks on My Bicep

Things That Suck:

Apparently, if I want anyone to actually LOOK OVER my thesis and give me feedback on whether it's a complete piece of trash or not, I have to sleep with the correct person or group of persons, which I have not yet determined. That being said, I would also like to say that it is immensely unhelpful when faculty members ignore emails that say "hi, when is a good time for you to participate in my defense? Let me know so I can schedule the room" because I guess they want you to guess the magic way to get ahold of them, like showing up at their home address and waiting for them all night outside their office, or something? I don't understand why people keep A.ignoring my IMPORTANT emails and then also B.acting like I am freaking out/overreacting when I still need to turn pieces in to the class and definitely I need to find a good time to defend it, so I can work backward from that time on my talk, poster, knowing the material, etc.

Taking second place in tonight's "what sucks the fucking worst?" race is the temp belt test, a week from this Thursday, which was going to be kickass until JD and I found out that this random guy who's never around, doesn't come to club or class, doesn't do anything related to hapkido, but really likes to jump over obstacles, is planning to test. Fine, I guess a three-way round robin is fine, but JD and I had so much cool stuff worked out, like the People's Elbow that we've choreographed, and leg take downs that he on occasion has to fake for me if I fuck up....things that this guy can't possibly know about, and to top it off his kicks (but I'm pretty sure it's JUST his kicks) are better than mine, and that pisses me off to no end. I want him to drop off the face of the planet instead of coming to the test. That would be nice.

Also, I am continually forgetting that by the belt test, I have to write a 10-40 page kunja paper talking about things that hapkido has taught me, blah, blah, blah. And thankfully this is one last chance to emote and not use science jargon, because if they wanted a 10-40 page review of the literature with an original piece of research in there, I would probably shoot myself. This, though, can just be " i think" or "i feel" or "hapkido's done so much for me _____"

And lest we forget, there's this laziness issue, that has returned with a vengeance to remind me that I would've had plenty of actual time to TA a hapkido class, run marathons, write six more theses, read all the sylvia browne/lord of the rings books I've been wanting to start, actually be in good enough cardio shape for a temp test, hang out with my sister more, hang out with chris more, talk to stacey on the phone more, write more and better emails, make comp cds, find everyone jobs in southern california so they can shut up about it being impractical, etc., this semester. Dammit, I am a lazy fat bitch.

I sleep, for real, eighteen hours a day, groggy from the time I wake up until I get back in bed, always wondering why I'm so goddamn tired and have accomplished nothing.

Things That Suck Less:

It's April 15th, grad school decision day, and I got seriously like eight emails from excited, sweet faculty members talking about the "wonderful, exciting research we'll do"

Jenny's on the front page again, congrats to her. Fucking awesome, if not a little hard to tell if she's making fun of the event she's covering in a subtle way, writing.

There is THIS , which has made my whole fucking month and sent me into fits of giggles all damn day

There is the fact that Patrick is the coolest motherfucker in the universe, and encouraging, and FINALLY out of his I-Hate-The-World slump that lasted the entire winter, and back to being inspirational and funny...just in the sweet-ass nick of time, no less. Thank GOD he's back to being POSITIVE and not pissed off at us for the shit the advanced I (we're advanced II) class was pulling, or for us all sucking, or for people not working, or whatever he chooses to be upset about.

But like I said, it's all good now. He's in belt-testing mode, and is WAY more fun. also, I have been kicking ass lately, and am optimistic about this being another fantastic ass test. ass ass ass ass ass

Except for those fucking jump back spin kicks. Yikes, those need work.

So. I think it's about time to get something other than kicking ass done today

Kunja paper, here I come.

SWEET FUCKING TITS

My honors thesis is completely written.

That's right, my beast of an intro, method, results, AND discussion, goodnight

I am so fucking breathing easier. You guys don't KNOW suck until you sit for seven straight hours typing about articles and theory and positing and suggesting and thusly and in conclusion

In other, better news, I watched a black belt test this afternoon and now, inexplicably, cannot wait to test in a week and a half.

My lil sis had her first publication in the IDS Friday, I posted one copy on the fridge and will be framing another. She is going to be a brilliant, genius writer someday.

My mom moved to a new apartment this weekend. I don't know where.

I'm going to go do something OTHER than sit in front of a computer. Shit.

Oh, I remember what I was going to say:
Super Troopers is the funniest movie I've ever seen. Also good: The Hours, Waking Life, and Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, which I have watched all ofin the last week. Tonight I'm gonna probably watch Super Troopers again ( or at the very least, the part where he goes "you want me to punch-a-size your face, for free?") and then some other movie I insisted on renting because I'm a chick with Julianne Moore and Billy Crudup, though I can't remember the title. I'll let you know.

anyway. Congrats to me for finishing my stupid honors thesis in MID APRIL. Yeah. Woo.

Why Don't You.....Play Provocative Mermaid

Ok, just a couple things.

Dr. Phil was just lecturing a 15 year old girl about how she's not ready to have sex (and I say, why shouldn't 15 year old girls be having sex?) and he was condescendingly lecturing her about how much pregnancy costs, and he said (I am not making this up), "you're old enough and ready enough to have sex WHEN YOU'VE GOT ENOUGH SAND IN YOUR PANTS TO PAY THE FREIGHT, GIRL."

Someone please explain to me what the fuck that means?!?! Enough sand? In your pants? to pay the WHAT? What THE FUCK is he talking about?!?

Second, Montel will be having Sylvia Browne Wednesdays all through May (but starting April 30th, hahaha) I suggest you clear you calendars now.

Third, I discovered that one of the boys testing for his blackbelt this Sunday teaches drumline at Springs Valley, knows Marc Moss, and has a SIMILAR story about Marc cleaning routine, getting pissed when it looked like butt, and THROWING HIS SANDAL across the parking lot. Sound familiar?

Fourth, I would like to call everyone's attention to Raedy's new message board, as it is the funniest fucking thing I've seen in awhile. I'd like to know who "adamkinney" is. Also, some asshole going by "Bobby Labonte4ever" is pissing everyone off.

Finally, stacey is complete white trash.

That is all.

"You're a MORON with the gun"

So. CONGRATULATIONS TO ASHLEIGH!!!!! That is so tits, that you passed AND you have a fucking real person job waiting for you. But don't get too comfy. Southern California beckons

I just want to point out, to any of you who may be "considering" moving out to California, that you don't have to go NOW or even when I do. Jenny is already planning to come visit over her spring break, and of course anytime any of you had vacations you would be more than welcome to come out and stay with us, and thusly fall in love with the area and look for jobs while you're out there. Teehee

Stacey, I think going to see the Disney people would be a nice idea. Ask if you can do the interny thing in Disneyland, that would rock so fucking hard.

I'm watching the MTV real world reunion show, which is embarrassing enough for me to not need to go into detail about how I agonized over whether to watch this or Cher's Final Concert.

When you're stressed out, and you can't stop flipping out about what all you need to get done, it sometimes helps to plot all this shit into a calendar, which puts it all in perspective and makes you freak out less.

I took a nice elbow across my temple this evening in hapkido, and now have a splitting horrible headache. Also, I'm starting to think that the black belt test in August will be me, JD, Yuval, and no one else, so if Chris ends up living with us this summer (which is something I just pulled out of my ass) and wants to go to club, we could all participate in the mother of all black belt tests. And you'd all have to come watch, that would kick so much ass

Looks like I'll defend my thesis during finals week, which is great. Looks like the temp test will be the Thursday before, which is great. This means I need to have the damn thing completely finished this week. Also, I need to keep busting it on the elliptical trainers. Also, I need to begin busting it technique-wise. Otherwise, my List of Overwhelming Things to Do is shortening daily.

I wish I had a billion dollars.
There's so much I could do with it that would be productive, like buy you guys houses in Laguna.

Anyway, I appear to have nothing left to say.

"You're a MORON with the knife"

Hey guys, what's up.

*I'm going to UC Irvine next year. Case closed. I've already started the inevitable whining, trying to get all of you whose future plans are as-of-yet undetermined or uncertain to move out there too....set up shop somewhere in gorgeous, unreal southern california and live happily ever after with me and JD forever.

*Stacey said she would go if Ashleigh goes. Ash still has a year of school. Aaroneypooh said he'd go if Stacey goes. So, Ash, i'll get there and scout around and find you a nice hospital to work in. Teehee.

* My honors thesis is an eternal thorn in my side. Why haven't I finished it? Oh I don't have a good excuse.

* I have nothing to talk about on here. No rants forthcoming, no whining about how stressed I am, no giddy talk of the future. I am so dreading the next four weeks of my life, I can barely express it in words.

* JD and I went to Louisville this Saturday on a whim. It was nice. Went to Ear X Tacy. Went overboard. everyone go check out a band called "Mono" that sounds like Mogwai. Very cool.

* I'm going to get back to freaking the fuck out about absolutely nothing now. Love you guys!

Dammit blogger

you really are a fat bitch sometimes

and your hands...and knees...felt cold and wet on the grass beneath

So guys. It's a busy week, compunded by my sheer inability to actually devote an entire uninterrupted evening to working. That's kind of my own fault though. "Kind of" meaning "entirely."

I went to see Cornell, I liked certain things and disliked certain other things, more than anything I am ECSTATIC that the visiting-of-the-schools is finished with....I have no desire whatsoever to do anymore of that anytime, ever.

Let me just say that it's a whole other ballgame when you're talking to people who attend or profess at "an ivy," which is the none-too-subtle way they all referred to their place of work

And that means that I'm 95% decided, and I'll be probably going to UCI. Now, I'm still going to give it a few days, make sure I feel good about it when I wake up and think "shitballs, I'm moving to California" every morning, but thusly far it's been ok like that.

Once blogger stops this obnoxious cock-chugging it's been doing lately, maybe I can update some links for you guys, and that will be cool

I have nothing really to say today. I'm skipping my honors thesis class because it is lame and I am a lazy ass, but Raedy's not going either and I've NEVER missed it, so I think here at the very end of the thing I'm more than entitled to opt out of the pretentious "discussion of discussions" that will be required.

Also, Raedy, that bit about the grad school letter was hilarious. They can really be fuckers, and you just want to be like "oh yeah? really? Fuck off"

But they really are condescending like that

Sweet: Passions just made a lewd comment.

Whitney: Daddy, you've really backed me into a corner here
TC: If anyone's backed you into a corner, it's the man (Chad) standing behind you


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Sorry, I just think that sounds ambiguously amusing. Ahh, Passions, you never fail to amaze me

I've got some funny stories

But not for today. And most likely, I'll be toning down the bitch fest ranting I like to do on here so much. Actually, no, fuck a bunch of that. I'll say whatever I want

Anyway, though. There are things I need to go do. Like Passions